Warning…Warning: Assembling Solar Powered Dragonfly, Humming Bird, and Butterfly Garden Lights Can Be Dangerous!

By Darren Smith, Weekend Contributor

Fearsome Creatures
Fearsome Creatures

Warning SignYour author recently purchased some decorative garden lights at a garage sale and found that they could have endangered his family. Being a typical man, he took the lights out of the box and assembled them without reading important safety warnings in the owner’s manual. Fortunately providence offered protection despite such negligence.

As a public service, we have provided the opportunity for others to avoid such hazards. Please read below the fold for some important safety information.

The owner’s manual for these garden lights actually lists the following hazards to be considered during assembly:


 

Important Safety Information

  • fall-hazard
  • Assemble only according to these instructions. Improper assembly can create hazards
  • gas-mask-visor
  • Wear ANSI-approved safety goggles during assembly
  • white-lobby
  • Keep assembly area clean and well lit
  • riot-line
  • Keep bystanders out of the area during assembly
  • dui-dash-cam
  • Do not assemble when tired or when under the influence of drugs or medication
  • burned-battery
  • Position battery in proper polarity and do not install batteries of different types, charge levels, or capacities together
  • mr-yuk
  • WARNING: The brass components of this product contain lead, a chemical known in the State of California to cause birth defects (or other reproductive harm). (California Health & Safety Code Section 25249.5 et. seq.)
  • fat-man-nuke
  • This is not a toy.
  • mine-field
  • Do not allow children to play with or near this item
  • xray-spear-through-head
  • Use as intended only

 
The manufacturer went to great lengths it seems to bring such a product to homes and gardens in America. A lot of good men were lost. Hopefully future customers wanting happy, colorful garden night lights will be safe and the past sacrifices of these unsuspecting men, too eager to assemble butterflies without reading the directions first, will not have been in vain.

By Darren Smith

The views expressed in this posting are the author’s alone and not those of the blog, the host, or other weekend bloggers. As an open forum, weekend bloggers post independently without pre-approval or review. Content and any displays or art are solely their decision and responsibility.

Author is not responsible for any injuries or deaths resulting from looking at the garden lights.

48 thoughts on “Warning…Warning: Assembling Solar Powered Dragonfly, Humming Bird, and Butterfly Garden Lights Can Be Dangerous!”

  1. AZ, Yes President Obama does get the credit for the DOW being near 17,000. But you have to understand why it is there. It is there because as a result of the govt. artificially keeping the interest rate low so it is the only place to put your money. But he will most likely not get the blame when it eventually crashes since he will be long gone and the press will make some excuse for him anyway. The middle class will get nailed big time since either the big guys will get the warning first or a bail out later. The sooner you figure out that this President or any govt. leader is not on your side the better off you will be.

    Also, pointing to past bad behavior to justify current bad behavior is a poor argument.

  2. Nick, Remember also when liberals used to say things like. “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.” or when liberals used to fight against the unions? It is interesting how the hippy generations went from sticking it to the “Man” to wanting to be the “Man”.

  3. What is a liberal? I have never seen anyone run for office and say that they were a liberal. I know some folks who said that they were conservative and ran for office and turned out to be big spenders of public tax money. Like this son of Eddie Cantor who has been in the news. What happened to taxes under Ronnie Raygun? What happened to the stock market under Midland Bush? The Dow was at 9600 when he left. If Obama is a liberal does he get credit for the Dow being at almost 17,000? Maybe Obama is a conservative in sheep’s clothing.

  4. jim, Voting for liberals will stop that messy drilling for oil and allow those good folks in the Middle East control the petroleum market. Let them mess up their environment.

  5. jim, Voting for liberals will strengthen the police because they will be the only ones w/ guns and they are the trained professionals who will always save our lives and never be adverse to our freedom. Remember when liberals hates police. Now. they want to entrust them w/ the sole authority to have guns.

  6. jim, When you vote for liberals you know they will defend Freedom of Speech as long as the speech doesn’t offend anyone.

  7. jim, Come on man, there are many reasons to vote liberals, They’ve proven they’re much better @ spending your money than you are.

  8. I wonder where the warning sign is on election day. Warning: Voting for liberals will result in a loss of your freedoms through more regulation and warning signs.

  9. I talk about my Scottish/Irish grandfather in that comment. Puleeeease, Chuck.

  10. Chuck, One father to another father, on Father’s Day, regarding raff’s great Father’s Day post, please retrieve a comment I made ~noon. Your dad would be proud. Thanks.

  11. Saucy, I’m a libertarian who abides sensible regulations. However, we passed sensible decades ago and are a runaway train headed toward Orwellian.

  12. Sally, LOL! I’ve never had one of those shades but that’s a great example of the stupid warnings.

  13. One of my favorites is a warning on a sunshade for a car windshield (the kind you use to keep the dash and seat from getting so hot when you have to park in the hot sun): “Warning: Remove before driving car.”

  14. Did you hear what happened at Amazon, the property of Jeff Bezos, the libertarian god?

    Two workers have died in an Amazon distribution facility, one last December and one just two weeks ago. The first “was crushed to death after getting caught between a conveyor system … while sorting packages” and the second is still under investigation. Bezos’ facilities are notorious for extremely high heat (because Bezos is too selfish to pay for AC), trying to force workers to go through security on their own time (to prevent workers from walking out with merchandise), and mandating work-paces which are difficult for humans to endure.

    See:
    – Bloomberg: “Amazon Worker Deaths Examined by U.S. Labor Department”
    – Forbes: “Amazon.com Is Accused Of Abusive Work Conditions After BBC Secretly Videotapes Warehouse”
    – Seattle Times: “Activists in Seattle slam working conditions at Amazon warehouses”

    Not to mention that Amazon could not exist without the Internet and the Internet would not exist without DARPA’s ARPANET, the National Science Foundation, and the work of universities.

  15. Paul C. Schulte wrote “Anything could be dangerous”

    I suggest you move to Somalia where there are no laws, taxes, consumer warnings, or regulations, a genuine libertarian paradise. Of course, one must carry firearms to survive, one’s children might be kidnapped to serve as wives or warriors, and there is always the risk of beheadings, but one must follow one’s star.

    Nick Spinelli wrote “There are good safeguards and stupid ones. The stupid ones unfortunately outnumber the good ones.”

    True, and we should find a way to eliminate the ridiculous ones while retaining the necessary ones. The problem is, libertarians and conservatives want to eliminate all of them, Democrats love them all, and lawyers think of them as business opportunities.

  16. Killer switches are a necessary safeguard. I am old enough to have investigated cases before and after killer switches. Before, many missing toes and fingers. After, much fewer losses of limbs. But, what I would investigate were people, who understandably hated the killer switches when they first appeared, overriding them, and losing toes and fingers. I worked one case where a guy overrode the killer switch on his riding mower. It is indeed a pain in the ass for the mower to shut down every time you get off of it. However, this guy had a very hilly, rural property. He tipped sideways on a hill, fell off, w/ his right[dominant hand] extended to brace his fall, and the blades cut of his hand. We proved he altered the mower and no liability was found. There are good safeguards and stupid ones. The stupid ones unfortunately outnumber the good ones.

    1. Remember those old water pumps? My grandmother somehow lost a finger pumping water as a child. Anything could be dangerous.

  17. bettykath,

    If you happen upon a Claymore;
    1. The front is the part curved outward
    2. Not eating it or burning is a very good idea
    3. Do not turn in for scrap, sell it on Craigslist!*

    (*Joking. A Claymore is an antipersonnel mine filled with a curved explosive charge with ball bearings as projectiles.)

    1. Steve – I think if you ‘find’ a Claymore you may have more problems with your neighbors than you appreciate.

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