Contracts Beats Torts in 2014 Charity Paintball Competition

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Yesterday, the ten members of the 2014 Torts and Contracts paintball teams met yet again on a remote Virginia field in a test of strength, daring, and skill. It is with a heavy heart that I must report that Contracts beat Torts in a final score of 4-2-2. The annual competition is the outcome of an auction to support our public interest law program at George Washington University. These contests have raised thousands of dollars of indigent clients and public interest work.


Our team fought heroically despite the last minute substitution of a team member, Conner Prochaska, who had to be in Texas. My son Benjamin stepped forward as a substitute and proved a huge asset, including one round where he was the only remaining Torts member surrounded on an elevated platform in scene from Fort Apache. The Torts team on the left were composed of myself, Joseph Drummey, Ann Porter, Valdimir Semendyai, Benjamin Turley.

This is the second year in a row for Contracts to dominate like an adhesion contract. This year’s members were Professor Gregory Maggs, Andrew Bailey Jonathan Baddley, Chris Baugh, and Alex Brink.

The two hour battle had moments of breathtaking heroism and self-sacrifice on both sides. In the final round, Vald Semendyai ran in the final minutes into a nest of Contracts players only to fall to a hail of paintballs.

Congratulations to the contract team. Even the way the Bears are playing this year, I was emotionally prepared for the outcome. However, once again, the Titans of Torts will return to the field of battle again and will write our names into history in the paint left on the backs of our fallen contractual foes. You will soon hear the cry of ad victoriam again from the Torts team as we revenge this day.

9 thoughts on “Contracts Beats Torts in 2014 Charity Paintball Competition”

  1. I recommend placing a mole to infiltrate their team.

    Have a 17 year old sneak in and the day before the game. The minor can then disaffirm the Contracts

  2. Ha! When I saw this picture, I just assumed that everyone in it was either fired or suspended from their job for posing with a toy gun.

  3. I can’t imagine a more fun way to raise money. Congratulations on living to ‘fight’ another year!

  4. The Category posted under is a nice touch–“Animals”

    That’s the fighting spirit.

  5. Looks like a bunch of gun loving NRA freaks! I hope we are doing background checks on all of these people. Suspensions coming?

  6. Maybe I missed it, but I don’t remember any reporting on this annual contest. The old crowd would not approve. I have never engaged in this barbaric and militaristic game!!! But, I did a surveillance of a young male plaintiff who claimed one of the damages incurred from an auto accident was not being able to engage in his love, paintball. The videotape proved otherwise. So, did torts win or lose on that one?

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