Natural Self-Selection: New Year Brings Arrests Of The Criminally Challenged

170px-Charles_DarwinPrisonCellIf Darwin wanted proof of natural self-selection, he would would need to look no further than Darwin, Australia where two men broke into the restaurant and loaded up a wheelie trashcan with 151 bottles of booze and eight cases of beer. However, the men aged 33 and 44 decided to stop and have a few for the road. Police later found one of the men passed out in front of the store with empty bottles scattered around him. The other man was not hard to find: he left his backpack with his ID card inside the store. They have competition in any race for the bottom of the criminal evolutionary scale this week with two master criminals of our own.

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Amber Campbell, 25, and John Arwood, 31, (shown here) show the perils of combining drug use with burglaries. The two called police after breaking into the Marine and Environmental Science Center at Daytona State College, Florida to say that they were trapped inside a closest for two days. When the police arrived, they found that the door was actually unlocked.

They were immediately arrested but jail in this case was an improvement given the conditions of the closet after two days of smoking meth and crack cocaine inside the closet.

These are four people who may have some obvious New Year’s resolutions to make.

22 thoughts on “Natural Self-Selection: New Year Brings Arrests Of The Criminally Challenged”

  1. My human father in a prior life had a tattoo. As a kid I inquired about that sort of thing and where he got it. He replied with a platitude: One tattoo, drunk at a carnival. Two tattoos, Navy! Three or more tattoos, INMATE!

    I never got one. It did not keep me out of the carnival and I avoided the other two places.

  2. Maybe those hosers helped put some down to earth common sense into him, DBQ. And, that clip is hilarious. Now, if the clip of the breeders were a black man, well that would be “RAAAACIST.” But, it’s always open season on white trash. They are not a protect class in the PC manual. And if they’re fat white trash, well..hit them w/ both barrels!

  3. @ issac

    That’s pretty much where most of us live.

    Not in a black and white world, but in one where positions are taken on merit and what makes sense. It is good to remember this when we are debating each other. That we are not one dimensional ideabots on the internet but represent people with different and with at the same time…..similar backgrounds, experiences and ideas

  4. NIck

    Conservative streak? Sometimes what makes sense, to me, can be labeled conservative and sometimes liberal. That’s where I live.

  5. “LOL! I love the $ tattoo on Ms. Campbell. I’m sure that helps make her very employable,”

    There ya’ go with your judgmental class and cultural expectations again.

    I am pretty sure there are several positions in the field of personal events planning she could assume – and probably does.

  6. @ Pogo

    Idiocracy. (one of my favorite movies. I know……I have bad taste in entertainment)

    A movie that everyone should watch. It is almost a documentary for our times.

  7. I think the young woman is trying to look like “Frankie” in Wentworth.

  8. Seriously, the “budtenders” in California cannabis dispensaries almost all wear lots of ink. That would be one place she could work. But, she would need to be strip searched after every shift.

  9. Isaac showing a little conservative streak. Don’t worry, your secret is safe here.

  10. The tattoo will be ruined when she gets a ‘blowhole’ installed. I predict that we will hear from her again when she cleans up and ends up suing someone for discriminating against her based on her $ tattoo.

  11. Pogo channeling R Kelly and Neil Young in the same comment. I know that’s never happened previously.

  12. Narrator:

    As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits.

    Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down.

    How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.

  13. This needs R. Kelly’s Trapped In The Closet Chapter 1
    Not as background music, but piped into their cells for punishment.

    The dollar sign on her neck, raccoon eyes, gaunt face, and drawn-on eyebrows are strong indicators of a limited lifespan.

    It’s better to burn out than to fade away
    My my, hey, hey.

  14. LOL! I love the $ tattoo on Ms. Campbell. I’m sure that helps make her very employable,

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