Liar, Liar: Oregon Man Sues Police For Jailhouse Beating . . . Police Then Produce Videotape Of Man Beating Himself Black and Blue In Cell

25C656B600000578-2957716-image-a-14_1424239970435Not since the movie “Liar, Liar” has a man been shown making such a thorough effort at kicking his own butt. In this case, however, Aleksander Robin Tomaszewski, 33, did not come clean like Jim Carey. Instead, he sued the sheriff’s department for the beating only to find out later that his cell was under video surveillance. The result is evidence of his own self-beat-down.


Tomaszewski was brought in for questioning and left in the cell. He then appears to have a not-so-bright idea and strikes himself 45 times, leaving two black eyes and other facial bruises.

He has now been sentenced to 20 days in jail, 36 months probation and fined $500 for attempted coercion. For initiating a false report, he received a $100 fine and 20 additional days in jail.

I assume that when he was put in his cell alone, he was warned to be careful: the guy in the cell is the violent type.

By the way, for future reference, this is how it is done:

36 thoughts on “Liar, Liar: Oregon Man Sues Police For Jailhouse Beating . . . Police Then Produce Videotape Of Man Beating Himself Black and Blue In Cell”

  1. DavidM – if it is an i on the end it is Polish, y on the end it is Russian. That is a general rule of thumb. However, the great Russian director Constantin Stanislavski was really Russian but took a Polish name to protect his family.

    Nick – it is Polack. Pollack is a very famous painter.

  2. Nick

    Oh sure. When the Grand Banks Cod fisheries were booming, Newfoundland had a vibrant fishing industry. Men would go out for weeks fishing cod, drying it on small islands when ever they could load a boat. There still is a tradition that if a man’s wife gives birth when he is out at sea, the baby must be named immediately and typically a brother or sister will name the kid. Once when a man came home after several weeks at sea he found that his wife had had twins, a girl and a boy. He asked his brother what their names were and the brother replied, “Well your daughter’s name is Deniece.” “What’s my son’s name?” asked the father anxiously. “Well Denephew, of course.” replied the brother.

  3. Jake – I could believe the self injury was out of guilt or feeling overwhelmed, if he hadn’t sued the police department in a fraudulent, shakedown lawsuit.

  4. I did not know Newfies were the New Jersey’s of Canada. I would have thought it’s be Quebecers. Just my bias showing. Newfies have a great accent. One of the first kids on my caseload when I was a juvenile probation officer in KC was a Newfie kid. I loved going on house visits and hearing the entire family converse. The kid was an 8 track Stereo and CB thief. That should give you an era. The family were a fish outta water living in a predominantly black area.

  5. I assume he got the idea because of all the media coverage of wrongful police violence. Thought they’d be suckers and would get some cops fired.

    “Excuse me. I’m kicking my a^**s!”

  6. NIck

    Cuz when you ask them a question, they hunch their shoulders and when you tell them the answer they smack their forehead. It’s kind of a visual joke.

    As a Canadian, I can tell Newfie jokes. Newfies, people from Newfoundland, are kind of special in Canada and take a lot.

    Two Newfies decided to take a two week vacation and fly to Montreal, the big city. They, realizing that they were Newfies and might be at a disadvantage in a large city, planned everything down to the last detail. They paid in advance for absolutely everything: travel, hotel, food, etc. When they got there and settled in they decided to go out on the town.

    “So, what do you want to do?” “How much money do we have?” When they found out that they had less than five dollars between them they realized they had missed one thing. “We’re here for two weeks with next to no money to spend.”

    They were wandering around in a drug store killing time when one said to the other. “Quick, give me your money.” Outside, the other asked what his friend had bought with their last five dollars. Upon seeing the box of tampons, he flipped out. His friend explained. “No, look, read right here, ‘You can go skiing, you can play sports, you can ride horses, you can go swimming…..”

    Real story:

    A long time ago in my favorite pub in my home town on the West Coast, in BC we were telling Newfie jokes. A guy at a table near us got up and came over. He told us that he had been hitchhiking across Canada for two months and had had it with Newfie jokes. He was from Newfoundland. He told us to come outside one by one and he would take us on. We laughed and bought him a beer, luckily for us.

  7. You learned quickly in my town not to call a Uke, “Russian.” I understand the current conflict from a personal level. Uke kids got some resentment because they got 2 Christmas breaks from school.

  8. LOL. Why do Uke’s[we had Ukes in my town as well. Lived a block from a Uke Cemetary] have hunched shoulders and flat foreheads?

  9. No audio. So, it went something like this. “Is that all ya got?” “My mother hits harder than that.” “Here I’ll hold still.” ……

    Nick

    My Mom was Ukrainian and my Dad is Scottish, so I get to tell some jokes.
    -The little old lady came into the newspaper office in a small Scottish town and requested to place a notice in the obituaries.
    -“What would you like to say dear?” asked the clerk.
    -“Angus died.” replied the thrifty woman.
    -“You realize that we have a five word minimum and you have three more words that will go to waste if you don’t use them?”
    -The lady thought for a moment and replied. “Angus died, Volvo for sale.”

    Why do Ukrainians have hunched shoulders and flat foreheads?

  10. I hope that’s still the case. That PC hasn’t changed ball busting amongst young people. It’s quite healthy.

  11. I grew up w/ many Pollack friends. As you might imagine, they have many dago jokes, and I have many Pollack ones. But, out of respect for JT’s sensibilities, I will forego telling any.

  12. We have to rethink allowing Poles to come in. That is a Polish name is it not? Ski on the end?

  13. Good video. I’m surprised that Aleksander didn’t see the camera in front of his cell. Also, this guy might have a mental disorder.

    Self injury, also called self-harm, self-mutilation, or simply cutting, is defined as any intentional injury to one’s own body. Usually, self-injury leaves marks or causes tissue damage.

    Self-injury usually occurs when people face what seem like overwhelming or distressing feelings.

    Self-injury also may be a reflection of a person’s self-hatred. Some self-injurers are punishing themselves for having strong feelings that they were usually not allowed to express as children.
    They also may be punishing themselves for somehow being bad and undeserving.

  14. Glad to see that video works both ways, catches the abusive cops & clears the innocent ones.

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