I am beginning to think that the Almighty is intervening to get me to eat better. After the closing of our favorite hot dog joint in Chicago, Hot Doug’s, last week saw an announcement that my favorite burger place in Chicago, Ed Debevic’s, was closing its most famous location (where our family has gone religiously for years) to make way for a new high rise. Now, as my family is still reeling from the news, city officials have shutdown our favorite New York deli, Carnegie Deli. I have gone to Carnegie since I was a kid and my kids are now equal fans. However, the owners of this highly profitable deli are accused of possibly stealing gas and endangering customers.

Con Edison has reported that its crews discovered a diverted line running to Carnegie while looking for a leak. These inspections have been increased in the aftermath of an explosion in the East Village that killed two people. An illegal gas line tap is suspected.

Here is what I do not understand. If there is an illegal tap of the gas, it would seem an easy criminal case. If the diverting pipe leads to the deli, it would seem obvious as to the culprit and the crime. After all, did the Deli not pay for gas or pay substantially less each day? If so, this is an ongoing theft. It is not clear if this was an old line or an active line. If it was active, it is highly dangerous to create such taps.

The deli simply said that it was closed for repairs related to the city’s gas utility, but Con Edison released as far more disturbing statement. The absence of any reference to possible criminal charges is curious since this would not just be theft but public endangerment if true.

The most important issue however is that my family is being rapidly denied access to our favorite sources of high-fat cuisine in multiple cities. I sense a vast healthy food conspiracy. If I cannot get my Chicago hotdogs, Ed Devevik’s shakes, and towering New York corned beef, I might as well be . . . well . . . French.