Like many Bears fans, I watched the NFL draft with two expectations. First, there is the annual booing of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell who is justifiably the least popular commissioner in history for his years of ripping off fans and filling his own pockets (and those of his aides) at the expense of the game. Second, there was the third spot draft selection of the Bears. To everyone’s surprise, the Bears traded for a one spot jump with the 49ers, which took the team to the cleaners in the trade. It was the shocker of the draft to give away so many slots for Mitchell Trubisky from North Carolina, who was hotly debated as a top QB candidate given his limited playing time as a starter. I do not question Trubisky’s selection but the deal strikes me as much too sweet for the 49ers when they only dropped one slot. The Bears must have had intelligence that other teams were going to grab the second slot and Trubisky. Fans were still scratching their heads when the scandal broke. In 2015, Trubisky tweeted “Hell yeah, Go Packers.” The fans can deal with most scandals in the past of a GQ draft pick. Killing a hobo along the Ohio railroad tracks? Youthful indiscretion. Selling heroin to school children? Excessive entrepreneurial spirit. However, tweeting “Go Packers” as part of anything other than an ironic or menacing threat is a serious problem in a city where we are raised to root for two teams: the Bears and anyone playing the Packers. Trubisky has pledged to delete the tweet, but the damage is done. He is a cheesehead . . . and he is not even from Wisconsin.
Chicago is now in a full scandal mode and demanding to know what GM Ryan Pace knew and when did he knew it.
There are no real good options here. The best three are admittedly not ideal:
- Packers conversion therapy, which can take years and raise legal and ethical questions in turning a cheesehead into a Bears fan.
- Clockwork Orange conditioning involving Trubisky being forced to watch hours of disturbing images of Packers fans eating cheese plates and slobbering over beers in Lambeau Field with his eye held open as music plays Bear Down Bears.
- Give up the remaining draft picks to just give Trubisky to the Packers in exchange for a year supply of Gouda
Now make no mistake about it “some of my best friends” are Packers fans. But we do not intermarry. (Well, at least not until recently).
I am not sure how the Halas Hall will deal with the greatest scandal to hit the Windy City since the Black Sox scandal and the cute little kid telling Shoeless Joe Jackson “say it ain’t so Joe.” I intend to meet Trubisky in knickers and a beanie hat at the stadium on his first day and ask “what’s the hitch, Mitch?”