The Corpus Delicti: The Baby Jesus Becomes The Focus of Holiday Heists Around The Golde

 

Screen Shot 2017-12-26 at 9.16.02 AMA feminist activist from the extremist group Femen ran onto the Nativity scene in St. Peter’s Square at the Vatican on Monday and tried to steal the baby Jesus.  The woman screaming “God is woman” was tackled by Vatican gendarme.  The group identified the culprit as Alisa Vinogradova and proudly declared her to be a “sextremist”. This is not the only effort his season to “jack” Jesus.  These cases represent a convergence of the Corpus delicti and the Corpus Christi.

It is not clear if there is a Vatican crime other than trespass and disturbing the peace.  As a city state, the Vatican has its own courts and police but no jails (though it has some cells).  Under Article 22 of the 1929 Lateran Treaty between the Holy See and Italy, the Holy See can request  prosecution and detention of criminal suspects, at the expense of the Vatican. Defendants sentenced to imprisonment by the Vatican serve time in Italian prisons at the expense of the Vatican.

This is part of a rash of baby Jesus snatching:

 

In Dandridge, Tenn., the annual Christmas show was interrupted when Teegan Benson, 2, stole the baby Jesus from the manger. As recorded on another viral video, she was then stopped by her friend, Collia Weems, 3, who was playing Mary. The struggle over the baby Jesus left both crying as Collia declared, “Teegan jacked the baby Jesus, I had to jack him back.”  Whatever assault occurred was forgiven in the interests of holiday cheer, and the play was enhanced by plot twist that was a combination of “Taken” and “A Christmas Story.”

 

10 thoughts on “The Corpus Delicti: The Baby Jesus Becomes The Focus of Holiday Heists Around The Golde”

  1. She is totally crazy. She needs to find sanity by going back to church where she can drink the blood and eat the body of an ancient zombie.

  2. One thing about the little girls one is something that is still bothering me, but I didn’t comment on in the original post. When did the word “jacked” enter the 3 y/o vocabulary? This concerns me. Who is the 3 y/o hanging about that she is picking up this verbiage? And why didn’t she just call the po-po on her friend, rather than using self-help and jacking the Baby Jesus back?

    I did hear through other sources that the woman who is the Vatican culprit was also topless. One would have thought she would have attracted attention long before she got to the manager. 😉

  3. This is, of course, a sign of the apocalypse. When the thieves all simultaneously return the Baby Jesus dolls to their rightful locations it will be the second coming of Christ.

  4. (music- to The Second Day of Christmas-)

    On the second day of Christmas my true love said to me:
    Quit Smoking! I’m not joking.
    You’re DYING!

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