We have previously discussed the thankfully small segment of felons who are arrested in flagrante delicto with helicopters, cars, vacuums, picnic table, mailboxes, and other inanimate objects. Newton, Kansas police added another suspect for sex with a car while Virginia police arrested a man for relations with a fence. Justin James Rutley, 30, (left) however found himself stuck in the act.
Police tasered the 24-year-old Kansas man as he attempted sex with the tailpipe of a car. As should not come as much of a surprise, drugs are suspected and the suspect was found to have a .35 blood alcohol level and possible drug use. It turns out that having sex with a car in public in Kansas will only earn you a charge as a misdemeanor charge of lewd and lascivious behavior.
In Virginia, Rutley is accused of getting both legs stuck in a fence near an elementary school in Stafford, Virginia. That, according to police, did not stop him from masturbating. He was also covered in cuts from the thickets in the area. Technically, it is not clear that he intended to have relations with the fence as opposed to relations in the fence.
He is being charged with indecent exposure, masturbating in public and disorderly conduct.
He is actually not the first arrested for relations with a fence.
As Shakespeare wrote in Midsummer Night’s Dream: “The course of true love never did run smooth.” That is doubly true with cars and fences.
Chasing tail pipe
No ofFence mean’t but, “Me Too” said the cute lil Tesla?
Original Ken – are you buying your lube by the case lot?
No ofFence mean’t but, “Me Too” said the cute lil Corvette?
The former may just be a guy drunk and high out of his mind. Glad he didn’t hurt anyone, but sorry this debacle took place in public.
The latter may be a pedophile jacking off in front of a school, and he just happened to get tangled up in a fence. I hope they investigate him as a possible pedophile.
A Pedophile!?
WAY too much ex, or in-Car, criminal COPS caged fer sex OFfences – including PedOffences.
Revealed: the scale of sexual abuse by police officers | UK news | The …
https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2012/…/guardian-investigation-abuse-power-police
Nov 2, 2015 – On the same day the AP announced it had found about 1000 police officers who had lost their badges for sexual assault, Daniel Holtzclaw’s trial for allegedly raping 13 women while on duty began. Why do cops think they’re above the law?
Sep 22, 2017 – A serving Metropolitan Police officer has been accused of sexual offences against children. PC Daniel Cooper, 31, works in the specialist crime and operations unit of the UK’s largest police force. The alleged paedophile has been charged with 16 offences namely – four of gross indecency, four of indecent …Sexual Assault by Police Officers Is Even More Common Than You …https://broadly.vice.com/…/sexual-assault-by-police-officers-is-even-more-common-th…
Ex-police officer found guilty of 40 sex offences against children | UK …
https://www.theguardian.com/…/ex-police-officer-allan-richards-found-guilty-of-40-s…Oct 21, 2016 – Allan Richards, a former Scout leader and West Midlands officer, convicted of abusing total of 17 children over four decades.
I live in Lawrence where the University of Kansas is paying the former chancellor a $510,000 advisory fee, thus screwing the entire student body.
Did you hear about the Polish terrorist who tried to blow up a car?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
Was not this a similar experience for the Kansan as he tried to get his “hot piece”?
If his lawyer cannot get him off with diminished capacity with a .35 blood alcohol, s/he is not trying. The guy is in an alcoholic blackout. He will not remember what he did. He is probably suffering from alcohol poisoning as well. I do hope they took him to the hospital to be treated.
Paul lives in Cleveland and given his insomnia, someone should investigate all of the broken fences and various stop signs just in case.
Dona – where Paul lives is none of your business, but I can guarantee that it does not snow there. 😉
We would expect you not to be dry humping the cactus. CLM: Cactus Lives Matter
https://gph.is/29i78Sw
Poor cactus
Larry – even blowing a .35 you don’t hump the cactus. 😉 Although, so of them are pretty cute.