Attack Squirrel: Menace or Myth?

downloadAlabama police have finally apprehended Mickey Paulk, the man accused of feeding methamphetamines to a pet squirrel to create a vicious “attack squirrel.”  Paulk denies the allegation and complained that his pet squirrel would likely die after being released into the wild. After all, he noted, if the squirrel were a meth addict, the release was a cruel act: “So they let a meth addicted attack squirrel go on the public. how you like that people?”

The Limestone Sheriff’s warrant stated “Prior to the search warrant, investigators were informed that Mickey Paulk kept an ‘attack squirrel’ inside his apartment, and that Paulk fed the squirrel meth to keep it aggressive,  A search warrant on the home “yielded meth, drug paraphernalia, body armor and a squirrel.” It also yielded a man named Ronnie Reynolds who was arrested and reportedly was charged with possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and loitering at a known drug house.

Police looked for Paulk, 35, for two weeks and found him in a hotel. He attempted to flee on a stolen motorcycle and then crashed into a police vehicle.  He was charged with  receiving stolen property, attempting to elude, criminal mischief and felon in possession of a pistol, as well as possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Now back to the squirrel: The Alabama Game and Fish Division confirmed to the police that owning a pet squirrel was illegal. But was it a meth addict, attack squirrel?

Police insist that a confidential source told them of the meth squirrel.  Paulk said on social media that he did not feed the squirrel meth.  In a June 18th video, Paulk referred to the squirrel as a “mean motherf*cker” but did not say that he was feeding it meth.  The police did not test the squirrel for meth before letting it go after consulting with wildlife officials. Paulk denounced that as virtual murder: “He does not know how to live in the wild. So all they really did was try to kill him.” He appealed to all of the “animal lovers out there” to listen to his side of the story.

The truth of the Attack Squirrel will therefore rest with the court of public opinion.

23 thoughts on “Attack Squirrel: Menace or Myth?”

  1. It’s better than even money that we’re gonna hear a “ Lock her up” chant during Trump’s patriotic speech. Wanna bet?

  2. Related to comments about Trump’s “dick wag” tomorrow… Thanks to Marcy Wheeler.

    Marcy Wheeler tweeted:

    emptywheel @emptywheel

    According to the Commander in Chief, asking servicemen and women to give up their holiday to be props in his July 4 dick wag is not a cost to them, because “we have” them already.

    7:44 AM – 3 Jul 2019

    “his July dick wag”

    Perfect, Marcy. Perfect.

  3. They should have tested the squirrel for meth.

    Releasing a pet squirrel into the wild would lead to its death. It should have been rehomed. Requiring a wildlife rehabilitation or similar license to own a rodent like a squirrel is absurd, especially considering it is legal for homeowners to kill them.

  4. Jesus, effing Rocky the flying squirrel, Christ. Even a semi-humorous JT post generates off-topic troll comments. (this one included).

  5. Cult takes over the Mall.

    “The National Park Service is diverting nearly $2.5 million in entrance and recreation fees primarily intended to improve parks across the country to cover costs associated with President Trump’s Independence Day celebration Thursday on the Mall, according to two individuals familiar with the arrangement.

    Trump administration officials have consistently refused to say how much taxpayers will have to pay for the expanded celebration on the Mall this year, which the president has dubbed the “Salute to America.” The two individuals, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the matter, confirmed the transfer of the Park Service funds Tuesday.

    The diverted park fees represent just a fraction of the extra costs the government faces as a result of the event, which will include displays of military hardware, flyovers by an array of jets including Air Force One, the deployment of tanks on the Mall and an extended pyrotechnics show. By comparison, according to former Park Service deputy director Denis P. Galvin, the entire Fourth of July celebration on the Mall typically costs the agency about $2 million.

    For Trump’s planned speech at the Lincoln Memorial, the White House is distributing VIP tickets to Republican donors and political appointees, prompting objections from Democratic lawmakers who argue that the president has turned the annual celebration into a campaign-like event.

    The Republican National Committee and Trump’s reelection campaign confirmed Tuesday that they had received passes they were handing out for the event…..”

    1. More good news. I like a good birthday party! Can wait for the flyovers and roll-bys. A strong nation has a strong martial spirit. Wusses who count pennies — not so much.

      1. Wuss mespo was just complaining about giving away money on another thread and now is happy his “billionaire” cult leader is hitting taxpayers for a VIP event for party bosses.

        1. Anon:
          Wasn’t me complaining about giving our money back to us to celebrate us. You’ve got me confused with some America-hating Dim.

              1. mespo will hopefully explain his Trump math, which is not self apparent to those of us not in the cult.

                Perhaps he’ll clarify how he might view a similar 4th event in the future by President AOC and featuring VIP passes for Democrats.

                You guys know that Trump won’t be president forever and some day a Democrat will be free to take the low road he is building with your help. right?

                No, I guess you can’t think that far.

                1. Perhaps he’ll clarify how he might view a similar 4th event in the future by President AOC and featuring VIP passes for Democrats.

                  If that scenario had a hint of reality to it, there wouldn’t be a need for someone like Trump to be President.

      2. 🙂 Absolutely! Let the whining begin. I don’t like spending my tax dollars to keep out illegal aliens the Left keeps encouraging to storm our borders. If the Left feels the National Park budget can’t afford a show of patriotism, but can afford open borders, then they are in the wrong country.

        1. The Park Service always provides a patriotic celebration of the 4th on the Mall. The WH is getting an additional $2.5 million for their juiced version of the event, to which they are giving out VIP passes.

          Why am I not surprised the cultists defend this? They defend anything our a..h..e-in-chief pulls.

          1. Better VIP passes and tax dollars for a show of patriotism than the VIP passes given the enemies being paid by our tax dollars.

            “The news that the Obama DOJ gave immunity to Heather Samuelson, Hillary Clinton’s lawyer responsible for the infamous deletion of 33,000 emails, further confirms the sham FBI/DOJ investigation of the Clinton email scandal,” Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton said in the statement accompanying the deposition’s release.

              1. Once again you’ve grabbed the wrong end of the sh!t stick (wrong side of an argument) and when it finally dawns on you, well it’s someone else’s fault.

                🙂 Pathetic.

    2. objections from Democratic lawmakers who argue that the president has turned the annual celebration into a campaign-like event.

      When he rents the White House Lincoln Bedroom ala Bill “Bubba Rapist” Clinton to high paying donors, let us know.

      To soothe your hinged nerves, consider drinking some clean, fresh water from an ICE Processing Center at the US Border. AOC sez it helps her left wing nut scorecard in spades…diluvial even. While youre at it, put down that milkshake, Anon

  6. At the least we can understand the behavior of the squirrel.

    Portland Antifa not so much

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