If The Glands Don’t Fit, You Must Acquit: Prince Andrew Advances Curious Perspiration-Based Defense To Epstein Allegations

It was a defense that would make Johnnie Cochran proud. In an exclusive BBC interview, Prince Andrew insisted that he could not have had sex with an underaged girl arranged by Jeffrey Epstein because he does not perspire and she referenced his “sweating all over me.” This ultimate “no sweat” response is unlikely to convince many given the infamous pictures of the Prince with his arm around Virginia Giuffre at the home of Epstein. It is bad enough to be considered criminal without adding comical in the eyes of your critics. Hence the New York Post headline “His Royal Dryness.”

Andrew told Emily Maitlis that the account of his sweating on the dance floor was the key flaws to prove his innocence:

“There’s a slight problem with, with, with, with the sweating/ Because I have a peculiar medical condition which is that I don’t sweat, or I didn’t sweat at the time … because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War when I was shot at. And I simply — it was, it was almost impossible for me to sweat. And it was only because I have done a number of things in the recent past that I am starting to be able to do that again . . . So I’m afraid to say there’s a medical condition that says I didn’t do it.”

He also said that the photo with Giuffre was likely faked because he is not a hugger: “I’m terribly sorry, but if I, as a member of the royal family, and I have a photograph taken — and I taken very, very few photographs — I am not one to, um, as it were, hug. Public displays of affection are not something that, that I do. So. That’s the best explanation I can give you.”

What? I don’t sweat or hug? That may be the most lame defense since Roy Moore claimed that he could not have pursued young girls because he turned down underaged prostitutes in Vietnam. It is certainly comforting to know that Andrew can perspire again, but there remains that other proclivity that remains in doubt.

Andrew, 59, eventually returned to the tried and true defense of having “no recollection” of meeting Giuffre.

He continues to refuse to testify under oath in the U.S. cases.

103 thoughts on “If The Glands Don’t Fit, You Must Acquit: Prince Andrew Advances Curious Perspiration-Based Defense To Epstein Allegations”

  1. It was interesting that Prince Andrew released a statement emphatically denying that he was intimate with any underage minors. The age of consent is 16 in UK, and 17 in NY. That was an interesting loophole.

    1. Anonymous – if you listen to the interview, he undercuts the no sweating defense with a “I am now starting to sweat”

  2. oops–https://www.zerohedge.com/political/photos-sweaty-prince-andrew-confound-claims-made-royal-over-epstein-links

    1. “The overwhelming consensus after the interview was that it was a PR disaster and had only resulted in Prince Andrew looking more guilty.

      “It has since emerged that the Duke’s PR adviser quit two weeks ago after warning him not to do the interview.” -zerohedge link

      Thanks, Jill.

  3. You Must Acquit: Prince Andrew Advances Curious Perspiration-Based Defense To Epstein Allegations

    Prince Andrew is a toad.

  4. @Anon- Prince Andrew isn’t the only one sweating. Things are getting mighty warm in the House of Clinton.

  5. This is absurd said, “I do hope the commissioner of jurors in your area has seen to it that you’re never on the rolls.”

    God knows you aren’t fit to sit on a jury, but you do love to pontificate.

      1. And I don’t anything about ‘Diane’, but you’re obviously an old buffoon without a clue.

  6. Unbeknownst to Prince Andrew and the others, it all began to unravel the moment Trump appointed Alex Acosta as his Secretary of Labor.

    1. So Enigma and Ynot are right. Trump is the ONE, the Chosen, the One to whom the Oracle prophesied: Neo!

      Justice is being done because of Trump. Pelosi should take note.

    1. There’s a clip that sums this up, but I’ll have to track it down:



      “The problem was the fact that once he had been convicted, I stayed with him,” Andrew told the BBC in an interview that was scheduled to air on Saturday. “And that’s the bit that as it were that I kick myself for on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the Royal family and we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that.”

      Answering questions from the BBC Newsnight’s Emily Maitlis, Andrew said, “It was a convenient place to stay,” acknowledging in hindsight that it was “the wrong thing to do.”

      “But at the time, I felt like it was the honorable and right thing to do,” Andrew added. “And I admit fully that my judgment was probably colored by my tendency to be too honorable, but that’s just the way it is.”

      1. Or, perhaps more likely, the prince was simply trying to curry any remaining friendship with Convict Epstein in the hopes that he won’t embarrass the prince by publicly speaking the truth of Andrew’s improprieties. There is no Honor involved. It was simply a matter of covering one’s backside. “Tendency to be too honorable?” He sold his Honor to buy membership in Epstein’s child-rape club.

    2. The Prince says he doesn’t drink in public places. Ergo, he ‘never pays’ any tab. Ergo, his entire family never pays for anything. I do hope the commissioner of jurors in your area has seen to it that you’re never on the rolls.

      1. I dare say that Craig Murray knows a little bit more about the royal family than “This is absurd x XV.”

        1. Actually, he’s a member of the British Deep State turned leftoid activist. Cue Mandy Rice-Davies.

        2. One has to wonder if he ever takes a bottle to these little private gatherings. As for his stay with Epstein, there are plenty of lovely accommodations in NYC — lovely places with every “convenience.” With every convenience, and very “convenient.”

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