Columbia University satire student paper The Federalist has long relished triggering readers, particularly conservatives. When it mocked the murder of Charlie Kirk, it shrugged off objections and suggested that people need to get a sense of humor. However, the paper has now apologized for something beyond satire: land acknowledgments. The editors issued a cringing apology for a joke about land acknowledgments. It appears that, unlike political assassinations, land acknowledgments are simply not laughing matters. It pledged to focus on something called “punch-up humor” that picks only on “people and systems in positions of power.”
The editors removed a column titled “I Lived It: Before We Had Sex, My Boyfriend Said a Land Acknowledgment.” It posted a statement on its Instagram page that the article “upset many members of the Columbia community and handled a sensitive topic rashly and irresponsibly: the important recognition of the native land Columbia University and much of our country sit on.”
We take full accountability for the weight of our harmful words, and we thank Columbia’s Native American Council, as well as other members of the community, for bringing this to our attention. We deeply apologize for any harm this article caused, and we are taking this moment to refine our humor guidelines to ensure that our mission of satire does not hurt communities and voices that should uplifted.
In a moment like the one we are currently living in on a campus like ours, political satire is more important than ever, and we would like to reaffirm our commitment to uplifting marginalized voices in this endeavor.
It was a telling moment in higher education, with institutions fighting to coerce faculty members and students to engage in what critics call a woke, performative moment before meetings, classes, and events.
Recently, the University of Washington settled a case after burning a fortune on litigation over a professor’s dissenting view of land acknowledgment.
We previously discussed the case of Professor Stuart Reges, who teaches at the computer science and engineering school of the University of Washington. He refused to post the school’s “land acknowledgment” and instead posted an alternative statement. Professor Reges sued the university and various officials in 2022. Professor Reges has declared, “Land acknowledgments are performative acts of conformity that should be resisted, even if it lands you in court.”
After the university encouraged faculty to add a prewritten “Indigenous land acknowledgment” statement to their syllabi, reading:
“The University of Washington acknowledges the Coast Salish peoples of this land, the land which touches the shared waters of all tribes and bands within the Suquamish, Tulalip and Muckleshoot nations.”
Reges decided to write his own statement:
“I acknowledge that by the labor theory of property the Coast Salish people can claim historical ownership of almost none of the land currently occupied by the University of Washington.”
The labor theory (which I teach) generally refers to John Locke’s theory. In his Second Treatise, Locke laid the foundation for property as a divine gift of God that began in the state of nature, where all was created in common by God. Reges declared that these tribes, indigenous people, “can claim historical ownership of almost none of the land and that the claim of the university land was not sufficiently used or developed to bestow a claim upon the Coast Salish people. That acknowledged group is a broad collection of different groups with ethnic or linguistic associations.”
In his lawsuit, Professor Reges detailed how, after he stated his own views, the university moved against him.
Reges noted that the university allowed other professors “to include modified statements in their syllabi that were more consistent with the University’s recommended statement.” The operative point is that “other faculty at the Allen School continue to include land acknowledgment statements in their syllabi that differ from the University’s own statement, so long as they express a viewpoint consistent with the University’s recommended version.”
That ended up costing the public a massive amount of money in Washington, but none of the faculty or administrators responsible for this conflict incurred any penalties or costs. Indeed, they were heralded for their struggle in favor of land acknowledgments.
Given such efforts, it is clear that many in academia will not tolerate any jokes, let alone alternatives, to land acknowledgments. It is part of the ideological echo chamber of higher education. The joke, however, is on these forces of orthodoxy. Forcing public apologies with public acknowledgments only undermines efforts to get people to consider the history of Native peoples.
Many of us support discussion and recognition of the history of native peoples. We simply oppose mandatory land acknowledgments, including “voluntary” systems that bar alternatives or coerce participation. As for the cringing editors of The Federalist, they supplied the greatest satirical moment after claiming a mission to “doggedly pursue the truth in its most raw, exaggerated, hyperbolic, blatantly untrue form.”
Some matters in higher education are simply beyond satire, and that is a truly pathetic acknowledgment.
Land acknowledgements are so insulting. “We acknowledge we took it and we’re not giving it back but we promise we feel so sorry about it and that is all you get.”
Sorry I took your ipod bro. mine now tho.
A real estate interest of mine was once an old country store in the 1800s. We found an Indian head penny in the dirt under the floor.
Oh oh.
In my opinion, land acknowledgements are simply one more cog in the wheel of human stupidity, of which there are many.
https://ia801609.us.archive.org/29/items/kaufman-s-clinical-neurology-for-psychiatrists-pdfdrive/The%20Basic%20Laws%20of%20Human%20Stupidity%20%28Carlo%20M.%20Cipolla%29%20%28Z-Library%29.pdf
Academics want it to be 1969 so bad they can taste it. I’m shocked that what’s left of the tribes don’t demand or receive even the blankets that their ancestors received. They get NaDa, nothing, but useless words. Every year the universities build numerous ugly monuments to themselves where they can think great thoughts about Marxism while putting the school deeper in debt. But do they return any of the land or buildings, improved or not, to the tribes? No. I haven’t heard a coherent argument for not returning the land that they admit stealing and have complete control over. They should apologise for plundering the finances of American families and offering the academic equivalent of blankets in return. The Academy is a hypocritical disgrace. Acknowledge that.
Name a casino in the US that “tribes” don’t own. Pretty nice compensation if you can get it. Guessing the next step is that Harvard will claim indigenous rights in all of New England and auction degrees.
All of them in Nevada are not owned by tribes
Must be really difficult to feel guilty about everything. I live in a suburb of Kansas City, and there is a standing joke about politically being packed with guilty white people, so instead of living in Prairie Village, it’s now called Perfect Village.
The Federalist may have been on to something the first time. We should all start putting satirical land acknowledgements in front of Google reviews of universities, art museums, and any institution that asks for land acknowledgements.
“We deeply apologize for . . .”
Translated:
“We humbly submit to the irrational mob. Do you want us on one or two bended knees? Is this a good angle for you to chop off our heads?”
Woke is where deeply held ideology is situational. Remember Me Too?
Democrats are thought police fascist.
Fight them now or you get 30’s & 40’s of Germany
Why compare GY? The same has been going on in the US since the 30’s, the forerunner of fascism and capitalism.
All lands (North, Central, South American) stolen by ancestors of current Siberian descendants (so called “Indigenous, “First Nation”, etc.) Clovis people, who followed in 10,00 BC hundreds of migrations beginning around 15,000BC. Clovis people, named after their super weapon (Clovis Point) rapidly dominated the Americas far surpassing conquest by Kahn, Alexander, Rome, etc. Unfortunately, several species of mega fauna eg. Mammoths, Camels, joined 5000 years of human migration as extinct victims of the Clovis Point.
This Land Acknowledgement rehearsal reminds me of a non secular recital of the Apostles Creed you hear during some church services. It is nothing more than the beginnings of a leftist catechism. But it emphasizes the feeling that some rituals are needed even for the left. Yet, the imposition of rituals upon the unbelieving population may have a counter effect by creating distrust and disrespect.
Already, there is substantial distrust by the general population toward colleges, and it is growing. Colleges seem to believe that its acceptable to allow student to take massive loans only to graduate with no marketable skill – or any skills other than activism. This silly Columbia University satire student paper only convinces the already convinced, but it adds to the distrust and disrespect.
Kneeling to the BLM gods for example.
As part of the general population (is there another part out there?) I trust colleges and universities, but not so with government.
Trump is all style over substance, and I don’t like his style. It cheapens the office of president. Imagine George Washington rambling on like Trump at a rally.
It is very interesting that so often voices on the left attack Trump instead of debating a topic.
It is very interesting that so often Trump calls people names and slings mud at them instead of debating a topic.
So what if Ossoff looks like Pinky Herman? Can he do the job?
List of nicknames used by Trump:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nicknames_used_by_Donald_Trump
^^^are you anonymous because you are afraid of us applying a nickname to your comments?
Since when is every president required to have the same personality and communication style? Think about how the radio (Harding) and then the television (FDR) changed the presidency. Visit as many presidential libraries as you can. Nobody liked Teddy Roosevelt’s style either.
Adulting requires a shift in the things we pay attention to and think about. In youth, the way things look are given much importance. In adulthood, it’s about what people do that counts. When you have a free moment, read Matthew 7-16.
Some things are not about Trump. This is one.
Not so sure, what about Manhattan, Trump owed most of it.
Imagine huh? Seems you have a serious issue with reality?
All they have to do to right the alleged wrong is to sign the deeds over.
Come On Man – don’t you know every Fancy Pants College Crowd wants to declare itself the New 1960’s-like Hippies? Recall ‘fight the MAN’ and ‘Power to the PEOPLE’ BS lines the OG Hippies used? All those Boomer Hippies now have Alumni Nepobaby Grandchildren who are taking up the Mantle of Radicalism at the Vatican’s of STUPIDITY – Ivy League Schools. And remember, the Newbies always have to be more shocking than the OG’s lest they be declared IRRELEVANT. Say it with me – “Power to the Moron Punks”!!!!!
On the contrary: SNL and Jon Stewart are a lot funnier than the Babylon Bee.
Really? could you post a link to anything funny that’s not just jawin’ to the mob? We’d like to take a look at what you think is funny.
Bet you don’t.
The Left/woke are comically stupid. It is so much fun to point it out.
The Babylon Bee deserves a Nobel Prize.
There are no “native Americans” or natives anywhere else. We Homo sapiens originated in sub-Sahara Africa about 300,000 years ago and we stayed there for most of our existence. The rest of the world already had hominid inhabitants, mostly Neanderthals in the west and Denisovans in the east. We then left Africa about 50,000 or 60,000 years ago and rapidly spread throughout the world. Pretty soon there were no Neanderthals or Denisovans left.
We humans are all settler colonists.
Well said. Basically all land has been taken from someone else. It’s not so much that humans took it, we now have to hold it or it will end up in someone else’s land aknowledgement
I demand reparations for my Neanderthal DNA from my sapien DNA!
So-called “land acknowledgments” are nothing more than hypocritical faux virtue signaling. They are ahistorical tropes ignoring that the history of the world is written in the ink of conquest. If the nation’s faux virtue signalers were sincere (which, as hypocrites, they decidedly are not), they would quitclaim all of their right, title and interest in any lands they “own” and occupy in North America. Don’t hold your breath.
Leftwing Fascists have no sense of humor, and only laugh at others, not themselves. Like Kimmel and SNL, the far left cannot bear humor and comedy directed at it, but only outward, at those on the right. Columbia is a cowardly institution, full of snowflakes, and The Federalist is the perfect embodiment of intolerance and virtue signaling.
I read the national Lampoon religiously back in my college years. High probability that many of those articles would not make it past the left’s censors today (some would no doubt). Alas