Have Mule Will Travel: Georgia Secessionist and Mule Lover Runs for Governor

neal-horsley-16271Georgia has a curious candidate running for governor. Neal Horsley has attracted national attention for his “Nuremberg Files” where he published a list of abortion doctors and then crossed off their names when they were killed. He reportedly would like to see the nation dissolved and has spoken about having sex with a mule in his youth on the farm.

Horsely says that he views himself as the next John Brown in triggering rebellion and is willing to sacrifice his son in such an effort. He previously told Alan Combs that he had had sex with a mule, explaining “When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule. You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually.”

While everyone has been calling for transparency in government, this might be a bit too much information.

For the full story, click here.

33 thoughts on “Have Mule Will Travel: Georgia Secessionist and Mule Lover Runs for Governor

  1. I presume that he has all of the requisite to be Governor of Georgia. Thank goodness he did not have sex with sheep then that would be against the law. G-ds law too. I wonder if he eats shellfish and pork?

    He seems to be so law abiding in all other aspects.

  2. There are just so many possible comments that can be made on this article. I am refraining.

  3. So Neal HORSlEy has sex with a mule. What’s the next shoe to drop, George Bush has sex with a tree?

  4. Considering the gubernatorial success of Lester Maddox, a fried chicken restaurateur in Georgia, this man seems like he’s well qualified. Too bad the rest of Georgia is not like Atlanta or Athens.

  5. My ol’ grandpappy had mules he directed while plowin’ hisn’ fields by hollerin’ out commands of “gee!” ‘n “haw!”

    I wonder what ‘sweet nothins’ Mr. H. whispered in them big muley ears as his “pillow talk” to coax his *BMF*. Furthermore, if his friends were also engaged in the bestiality, then this could be termed a ‘Mule Train’ thusly a possible statutory law violation, depending on the mule’s age and state of mind. Was this a gay or straight act?

    Disclaimer: Foreplay with a mule can be dangerous and you can, in fact, get a *real kick* outta it. Be careful out there and use proper protection (not that a Homo sapiens can knock up, er, impregnate, an E. caballus x E. asinus and I shant even broach the STD issue).

    Seriously, this country is going to the dogs…rats…and now, to the mules…

  6. FFLEO:

    I must lead a sheltered life what is a “BMF”
    is it a Bi-Species Mating Frenzy?

    Like Anon there are so many levels upon which to comment, where does one begin?

  7. Bron, kinka like BFF, but BMF meaning Best Mule Friend.

    A former oil patch worker claimin’ a sheltered life is like GW Bush claimin’ intelligence, word skills, and debate excellence.

    Pardon me? Your current gov isn’t weird enough? Well then, solicit Mr. H. as lieutenant gov. A real pair of mules…

  8. Well was the Mule under aged? That would be a starting point. Was the Mule male or female? Other charges could apply? Is a Mule capable of consenting? All sorts of questions to be asked!

  9. FFLEO/Anon:

    my fervent hope is that the mule was female, I dont think Georgia would ever elect a homulesexual.

  10. Well speaking of Kinky, there is a Billboard on 35 North near Downtown Dallas that Kinky is shown in that says “save Jenny” I suppose it could be a southern cultural thing for people wanting to be governor.

    But do you think that they kiss and tell?

    The only horse I am aware of that talks is Mr. Ed, lots of Jackasses that talk though.

  11. Pardon Me?

    Pardon Moi`. See sir, how confusion sets in when you call a cow a Jenny. Tisck Tisck, Tisck. So, Pardon Me?, do you like in Highland Park as well?

  12. As long as Mr. Horsley restricts himself to mules, at least he won’t be able to reproduce. My own experience growing up did not include experimenting with “anything that moves,” but apparently some people are unable to attract those of their own species.

  13. me in Highland Park? HA! my wages wouldn’t pay for half a month’s electricity in one of those fine houses. i prefer my rural area, a picturesque night sky, and the sounds of owls and coyotes over motors, horns and sirens.

  14. I had in-laws who lived in that high-falutin’ area of Dallas, my sister-in-law and her parents. I spent a lot of time as a kid at the Ft.Worth Zoo, and especially at the Botanical Gardens. All I really remember about Dallas was my induction into the U.S. Army during the Viet Nam period.

    Fortunately at the age of 8, I decided to move from (cough) Texas to Colorado–well, my parents actually made the decision but I certainly did not make a fuss or throw a fit about the move.

    Texas, love it or leave it..I left. However, many of my relatives live there, I have some fond memories of the place (Eagle Mtn. Lake were we lived) and this blawg illustrates that there a still some good folks residing in the Tin, erm, Lone Star State.

    I learned to swim at 5 years old when my Dad and uncle threw me off of their fishin’ boat in Possum Kingdom Lake during the early 1950s…

  15. The shack in Highland Park is fine, but I prefer the farm in Cedar Hill. I know what you mean.

  16. Hey don’t tell anyone about Adam Sandlers Chicken Song he might try it but here are the words/lyrics:

    My Little Chicken

    Performed by adam sandler

    When I’m feeling down
    And feeling sad
    You come around
    And make me glad
    I got you
    Oh, my little chicken

    I love your feet
    I love your breasts
    I love the way you eat gravel
    To help you digest
    Oh, my little chicken

    People say you’re using me
    In your heart you’re a killer
    But I know the worst
    I should fear is
    A slight case of salmonella
    So lie right back
    Don’t you cry
    If an egg can fit in there
    Why can’t i…..mmmmmmm
    Oh my little

    Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk
    Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk
    Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawking bawk,
    Bawk, bawk, bawking bawk

    You’re my love
    My little chicken likes
    To wear garter belts

  17. You Texas Folk,

    While still maintaining your Scalia-esque privacy rights, I have a few questions.

    Pardon me? are you teacher?

    AnonY: Do you still practice law?

    Thanks.

  18. Former Fed LEO,

    After a severe family matter I walked away from everything, (including almost doing myself in as well) just like Mr. Levy.

    You don’t know how much tension and stress that being a Trial Attorney. People hire you just because you have very little fear of asshole Judges. Other Attorneys would second chair me for different Judges because I did not back down.

    I have one case that I remember well, just like yesterday. A Witness aka Victim testifying stated that she did not start a fight that lead to a near death. I got closer and closer and started asking very pointed questions and where the “Victim” stated that she was peaceful and it took a lot to get her mad and yada yada yada. I moved within about 2 feet of her and started talking in a loud voice trying to get her all excited, she started yelling at me and stood up and then took a swing at me. If it had not been for the Prosecutor deflecting the fist, by Jorge I think she would have hit me.

    I have found that Family is more important that any staged that I have been on. If you know what I mean.

  19. I have found that Family is more important that any stage that I have been on. If you know what I mean.

  20. You keep that saddle tramp away from me again. I don’t care if it is Georgia and the men get lonely. I don’t care if he is running for governor. You keep Neal Horsley’s away from me and my family.

    I did not like his advances. No, I do not think he is sexy in a wedding dress. Keep him away from me and my Filly’s.

  21. AnonY:

    Thanks! I am sure that you have enough lawyering experiences to help me and others understand the ‘Process of Law’, if not that fleeting quest for truth and justice.

  22. Former Fed Leo,

    Justice is a venial quest and as I heard Sculley being told, the Truth is Out There Somewhere.

  23. Shameless. Perhaps the common thread in his thinking is that he views women on the same level as animals, to be incubators, sex or birthing slaves.

    This guy turns my stomach, he is nothing more than a barbarian and yet believes he is fit to dictate right and wrong to others. American society is devolving.

  24. FFLEO-
    Technically, I’m a teacher’s aide. Fwiw, and most likely more than you’ll ever want to know, I was raised Catholic, lived on a dairy, later a ranch. I quit college my junior year, one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done! Some of the jobs I’ve held include waitress, non-fast food restaurant manager, volunteer DJ on public radio, and geological assistant in the oil industry. I’ve worked in a scuba diving park. I am a mother, and wife and a pretty good cook, too.

    My mother was a secretary. I have 4 bright siblings: a librarian, a mechanical engineer, a 25 year veteran of a fire department/musician, and a Highland Park school board officer/fund raiser/excellent cook who graduated from SMU with a 4 pt. average.

    When I say the Pledge of Allegiance 5 days a week, I always accentuate, “liberty and justice for all”.

    At 38, I gave birth without drugs, and nursed for almost 3 years. My teenager maintains a 95+ average. I have a calico cat, and a chiweenie dog. On rare occasions, thus not very well, I play the flute and guitar.

    I’m a fan of Dennis Kucinich and Joni Mitchell.

    Texas has always been my home, but I’ve never owned cowboy boots. I’ve been to 6 Rainbow Gatherings in Montana, Vermont, Minnesota, New Mexico, Missouri, and Kentucky. I’m married once and for 17 years to a Deadhead handyman/new beekeeper who’s parents taught at the college level, authored books, and retired from the clergy.

    Last summer, I took my first vacation in 8 years. 4 days in Berkeley, including Yosemite, San Francisco, and Monterrey Bay. I’d like to see Boston and visit my brother near there.

    Back in the mid-70’s my first car was a $550 1966 baby blue Triumph TR4. It sported an American flag within a peace sign decal. I’m Aquarius with Libra rising and enjoy camping, fine food, and red wine when I can afford it. I’ve never personally hired an attorney or needed one.

    I only have a dial-up net connection and don’t have cable TV. A squash blossom appeared in my garden this morning and bunnies hop through my yard.

    I like to read this mostly eloquent and interesting blog and am grateful y’all haven’t thrown me out. It’s such respite from the mundane housework.

    Thanks for asking. and pardon me for going on and on.

  25. AY:

    “Justice is a venial quest…”

    *********

    … unless you have none of it, and then it is all that matters.

  26. Pardon Me?

    Thank you for that neat bio. I worked my way through college by milking cows and doing farm labor, so I can relate to your upbringing.

    I simply do not think there more are 2 important jobs than education and motherhood. Those are the foundations of a well functioning society. My wife was 10 years younger, a member of the National Honor Society, and she gave up college and her own career to raise our fine son. A housewife gives up a lot for her family and a strong family structure is critical to our American way of life.

    Whenever I think of any mothers’ true value, I think of the song, ‘No Charge’ by Melba Montgomery; Written by the incomparable Harlan Howard. 3/74 Charted #1

    My little boy came into the kitchen this evenin’ while I was fixin’ supper,
    And he handed me a piece of paper he’d been writin’ on.
    And after wipin’ my hands on my apron I read it,
    And this is what it said:
    For mowin’ the yard: five dollars;
    And for makin’ my own bed this week:- one dollar;
    An’ goin’ to the store: fifty cents;
    An’ watchin’ little brother while you went shoppin’: twenty-five cents;
    For takin’ out the trash: one dollar;
    Gettin’ a good report card: five dollars;
    And rakin’ the yard: two dollars;
    Total owed: fourteen seventy-five.
    Well, I stood there lookin’ at him expectantly,
    And a thousand mem’ries flashed through my mind.
    So I picked up the pen, an’, turnin’ the paper over,
    This is what I wrote:
    For the nine months I carried you,
    Growin’ inside me: no charge;
    For the nights I’ve sat up with you,
    Doctored you, prayed for you: no charge;
    For the time and the tears,
    And the cost through the years, there’s no charge;
    When you add it all up,
    The full cost of my love is no charge.
    For the nights filled with dread,
    And the worry ahead: no charge;
    For advice and the knowledge
    And the cost of your college: no charge;
    For the toys, food and clothes and for wipin’ your nose,
    There’s no charge, son
    When you add it all up,
    The full cost of my love, is: no charge.
    Well, when he finished readin’ he had great big ol’ tears in his eyes,
    And he looked up at me and he said, “Mama, I sure do love you.”
    Then he took the pen, and in great big letters.
    He wrote: “PAID IN FULL.”
    When you add it all up,
    The cost of real love is: no charge

Comments are closed.