There were of course many possible explanations for Republican South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford’s affair with an Argentinian beauty. There is of course love, lust, or simply a mid-life crisis. However, it took Rush Limbaugh to isolate the true reason: President Obama. Limbaugh was heard yesterday explaining that Obama’s economic policies pushed poor Sanford into the arms of this mistress.
LIMBAUGH: This Sanford business! I’ll tell you, one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind, with Mark Sanford … this is the first thought: What he did defies logic. This is … more than being 180 degrees out of phase because of lust, or love. To split the scene for five days, and we know he’s been separated, and he knows, by the way, that the newspaper in his state has the emails between him and his concubine down there in Argentina, he knows this. He knows that somebody knows what’s going on. He knows his wife knows. So he ups and leaves for five days, doesn’t leave anybody in charge of the state, in case there’s an emergency.
Here comes the swing . . .
LIMBAUGH: This is almost like: I don’t give a damn! Country’s going to hell in a handbasket. I just want out of here!
LIMBAUGH: He had just tried to fight the stimulus money coming to South Carolina. He didn’t want any part of it. He lost the battle and said “What the hell? The Federal government is taking over! I want to enjoy life!”
Apparently, Republican marriages are undone by macro economic policy and the stimulus money. Indeed, his email about the “tan lines” of his mistress is simply code for runaway deficit funding:
“You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details … “
For Sanford’s email messages, click here.
The problem of over-stimulation under the Obama Administration remains a danger to all Republican governors. Fortunately, Dr. Russ Limbaugh is here to keep their marriages and budgets in line with monogamous free market values
For those interested in picking up an over-stimulated Republican Governor, the usual pick-up lines for economists are usually successful. Here are a few of the most successful at GOP parties and strip joints:
1. Do you work for the Fed, cause your raising my reserves.
2. My fiscal policy is all about contributing to your private sector.
3. You have a boyfriend? That’s ok. The wife and I are into credit-swapping.
4. Are you a Keynesian? Because you sure make my monetary policy inflate.
5. Pareto dominate me, baby!
For a tape and discussion of Limbaugh’s foray into marital conflict and macro-economic theory, click here.