The ever-watchful folks at the Ukrainian Ukraine’s National Expert Commission for Protecting Public Morality are reportedly moving against another invasion “aimed at the destruction of the family, and the promotion of drugs and other vices.” His name is SpongeBob Squarepants. The popular Nickleodeon characterhas been found to “present a real threat to children” and is on a list of shows to be banned with The Simpsons, Family Guy, Futurama, Pokemon and The Telletubbies.
Before you go off and assume that this is just another example of government wackos trying to compel morality through senseless censorship, you need to remember that these are experts and that they have found SpongeBob’s hidden agenda of “promotion of homosexuality.” Ukraine will have SpongBob Straight Pants thank you very much.
The report published on the Catholic website “Family Under the Protection of the Holy Virgin” calls the show “a large-scale experiment on Ukrainian children” to “create criminals and perverts.” This is only slightly worse than the Teletubbies which send children into a trance and create “an imbecile who will sit near the screen with an open mouth and swallow any information.” As a teacher for almost 30 years I can attest to seeing the same phenomenon without the use of SpongeBob.
Of course, before one lambasts Ukraine, we should remember that our own religious leaders outed at least one Teletuddy years ago. Likewise, Thomas the Tank Engine was found in Canada to be a capitalist stooge.
My kids watch these programs and I can only imagine what I have done to them. Of course, when I turned on the news yesterday, the material was even more intellectually harmful. As SpongeBob would way, “Oh, Tartar Sauce.”
That is striking is that the report did not include this incriminating piece of evidence: