The Goat Did It: Nigerian Newspaper Reports That Cornered Car Thief Turned Himself Into Goat

800px-feral_goat_in_arubaThe Vanguard, one of Nigeria’s largest newspaper, has a different take on the conventional crime beat. The newspaper reported how a thief in Kwara state was chased and cornered by vigilantes and promptly turned himself into a goat.

It now appears that our interest in the Happy Goat may be misplaced and this is indeed nothing more than a snarky criminal mind at work.goatvi3

The man-goat is reported to have tried two days earlier to steal a Mazda (the favorite it seems of the cloven hoof set) when he was spotted and chased. The newspaper qoutes police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed himself into a goat when he was cornered. The goat was arrested and later shown to journalists. The police are continuing to hold the “magic goat” . . . no doubt milking him for information.

For the full story, click here.

13 thoughts on “The Goat Did It: Nigerian Newspaper Reports That Cornered Car Thief Turned Himself Into Goat”

  1. Let the Police do something or get some one to change the back to a human and proceed from there.

  2. Many of today’s crimes against humanity can be contributed to the phenomenon of animals turning into people, it is refreshing to see that the opposite is now starting to happen with minor crimes.

  3. Usually the question is: “would you like the superpower to fly or to turn invisible.” It’s time to add: or would you like the power to transform into a goat?

    If I ever get a goat, I’m going to name it Jonathan Turley!

  4. Ha!

    I was thinking this explains the origin of the forged Niger-Iraq Uranium document.

  5. Mespo:

    You ignore the glorification of “the wild ass.” Romans are hardly an authority on noble beasts. The Ancient Romans are hardly an authority on the noble beast. Bestiality, perhaps, but noble beasts naaaaaaaay.

  6. To honor Dionysus, Romans would tear apart a goat and eat it alive. You will recall that Dionysus was the god of ecstasy through wine. I suspect Tunde Mohammed and the rest of the Nigerian police force were honoring Dionysus in the classic way with a jug of wine, a stolen Mazda, and (a little joke on) thou.

    A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
    A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread-and Thou
    Beside me singing in the Wilderness-
    O, Wilderness were Paradise enow!


    They say the Lion and the Lizard keep
    The Courts where Jamshyd gloried and drank deep:
    And Bahram, that great Hunter-the wild Ass
    Stamps o’er his Head, but cannot break his Sleep.

    I sometimes think that never blows so red
    The Rose as where some buried Caesar bled;
    That every Hyacinth the Garden wears
    Dropt in her Lap from some once lovely Head.

    — Edward FitzGerald

    You see JT even FitzGerald reveres the proud lizard over the larcenous goat!

  7. ” …a Mazda (the favorite it seems of the cloven hoof set)…”
    I would think they’d want something roomier for the kids.

    1. Pardon Me:

      True, and the Big Cud holder that only comes in the larger sedans.

Comments are closed.