With Friends Like This . . . : Stephen Colbert Endorses Turley Testimony

220px-stephen_colbert_4_by_david_shankboneTurley bloggers we have arrived. Stephen Colbert last night embraced my testimony against the D.C. voting rights bill with the type of clinging and infectious hug not seen since the Sadie Hawkins dances at the French Leper Colony.

Unfortunately, Colbert promptly sold out his opposition to the bill after being offered a key to the city of Washington D.C. by Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton. My gift of a George Washington soap-on-a-rope appears to have been rejection as an insufficient gratuity.

Here is Colbert before his acceptance of the key (which, Stephen, will open nothing but a window on your soul):

I agree with George Washington University Law Professor Jonathan Turley who told Congress that, while he finds D.C.’s lack of representation “incredibly offense,” the voting rights bill is “flagrantly unconstitutional.”

That is not a contradiction. Just further evidence that our Founding Fathers were complete douche bags.

Actually, I would have to disagree with conclusion as to all (as opposed to a few) of the Framers. Here is my last testimony before the House of Representatives.

For the D.C. vote video, click <here or here.

39 thoughts on “With Friends Like This . . . : Stephen Colbert Endorses Turley Testimony”

  1. After you’ve eaten all of your leather goods, I recommend the paste off the back of your wall paper. Of course this all assumes all of the the cats, dogs, gold fish, clueless squirrels, slow-moving oppossums, and Irish have all ready been eaten.

    After the paste I recommend the bark of a chiccoree tree. Look for grubs under fallen trees. And don’t through out those old cotten cloths, boiled in urine they make a stew that can sustain human life for up to a month.

    Come on America, you bunch of pussies!!! This is just a wee little bump in the road, no need to panick. I found a site that actually explains how to make soilent green. If it’s good enough for Chuck Heston, it’s good enough for me!!

    Keep those buckets full of rain water, pray for smaller government, and that God that George Bush has brought us closer to Rapture. Good night, and go fuck yourself.

  2. Bingo


    That’s $676 the Republicans didn’t give them nor wanted to give them now. After all, they’re just the middle class. Why would a Republican care. BTW, if you don’t want yours, send it back or send it to me. More likely you’ll be like Gov. Pawlenty and Sen Graham (mentioned earlier) and whine and simper, but still take and spend the money.

    >ABCNEWS: CATERPILLAR CEO contradicts Obama: ‘We’re going to >have more layoffs before we start hiring again’…

    Thank you, Mr Bush!

    >Stimulus: Dem leader Reid’s state gets billion dollar Vegas >train…..

    I guess you figure it’s going to built without workers or factory orders. And as stated above, millions are going to Sen. Graham’s (R-SC) state and also GOP Gov. Pawlenty’s Minn. And billions more to generate jobs, improve infrastructure build and repair schools, update medical record keeping.

    What’s your point? We’ve tried it the GOP way. That’s how we got here. Your kind have no credibilty and nothing to add to the discussion. Your ideas are tried, failed and of no further interest.

    So, STFU!

  3. bingo:

    “On Tuesday, America got to watch as proud members of the new Obama Nation lined up at a town hall microphone to ask not what they could do for our country, but what our new president was going to do for them.”


    I got to see it early when the Armani-clad Bush Banditos lined up outside the Capitol to get their Wall Street bailout checks and guarantees.

  4. AS I reviewed my last posting it looks like my mind was working faster than my fingers, or is it the other way around? Sorry about my proofreading problems. I was trying to say that for a Constitutional Amendment to be successful, you need the states approval and the Republicants( I meant that) would hold the votes in the individual states and in the House and Senate before the States were even involved.

  5. I do not think the present day Republicans would vote in favor of allowing D.C. a representative through any means because they know the District would vote in a Democrat. It sounds bad, but that is how they think. For the Constitutional Amendment to be successful, the Republicans would hold up the states approvals whenever or wherever possible until they had control of the House and Senate and then they would kill it. You may get one or three Republicans to vote for it, but it would cost you 70 or 80 Billion to get their agreement!

  6. @ mespo’s link:

    “You fool!” croaked the frog, “Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?”

    The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog’s back.

    “I could not help myself. It is my nature.”

    Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

    Self destruction – “Its my Nature”, said the Scorpion…”

    Neat Fable…

  7. I’m so infuriated with the Republicans I could spit fire. Judd Gregg has pulled out of his nomination for Sec’y of Commerce for purely political reasons. He took a lot of heat from the right for abstaining on the recovery package vote and he crumbled like the cheap wmpty suit he is. Then I was subjected to Lindsay Graham (R-SC) and Republican Gov. Pawlenty of Minn declaring they hated they stimulus package but would readily accept the funds slotted to go to their states.

    Pawlenty’s reasoning was that Minn gets less from the government than it sends, so it’s okay to take it. I saw a statistic a couple of months ago that showed that most of the states that voted for McCain receive more money from the government than it pays in taxes and the reverse is true of most states that went for Obama. Asked he could put the money to use right away, Pawlenty said yes. The same statement was made by Graham. South Carolina needs the money, can use it immediately and start creating jobs right away.

    Pawlenty also acknowledged the 35% of the plan calls involves tax cuts. This was a higher percentage than the the GOP originally asked for when President Obama went to them. Obama spent more time listening and reacting to the GOP than in face-to-face with Dems and is the thanks he got.

    I have one word for the President when considering any future bipartisan overtures from now on: SCROOM.

  8. Time missed Robert Rubin who under Bill Clinton advanced the credit derivatives. Rubin accepts no responsibility for the economic contraction/correction.

  9. The way to unnerve Colbert is to threaten his status in the creamy frozen dessert realm.

    I recommend a line of Turley ‘Gelato Delicto’…

  10. Buddha,

    Colbert was being sarcastic about truthiness? Don’t shatter my world view with your hate speech. You should not be allowed to speak in Britan or anywhere else.

  11. The day O’Reilly admits that he agrees with JT on any constitutional matter would be the day its starts raining fire.

  12. Now if we could get O’Reilly on board JT’s vision of world blog domination would be complete.

  13. Cool.

    Hey, Stephen! We’ve got your back too, buddy! Keep on keeping on at being one of the finest purveyors of sarcastic wit and truthiness around!

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