Synchronized Sleeping — The New Olympic Sport

humorous-069_smallFinally, an Olympic event in which I could compete.

Synchronized sleeping is a sport that the United States should aggressively pursue. American couch potatoes can clearly sleep away the competition if we are only given a chance. The permanent dip in my living room couch is a testament to my rigorous training program and commitment to the purity of the synchronized sleeping sport. It takes years to perfect low breathing, regular snoring, and the cutting edge “double loaf with a back flip when reclining position.” I can sleep Nadia Elena Com─âneci under the table and roll over Mary Lou Retton with a yawn. Stay tuned and see you in London.

25 thoughts on “Synchronized Sleeping — The New Olympic Sport”

  1. Synchronized sleeping, huh?

    Some would call that living…

    And yes, the American dreamers win, cuz you have to be asleep to believe it (George Carlin).

  2. Jill.

    No need to make a distinction between dogs and people. Dogs are people and my dog would be very insulted if she knew you excluded her from the category of people.

  3. Seamus,
    What was I thinking?! Even a troll needs to have some fun. He should just do it somewhere else. I hear has an opening for a troll who does not worry about the facts.

  4. Back to topic.

    “Finally, an Olympic event in which I could compete.”


    Well, not me. I refuse to lay down with or near any Republicans. The fleas are dreadful, and look like Coulter and Hannity. For those seeking a reversal, my mind is made up. To quote Susan Boyle, “But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms [even I] cannot weather.”

Comments are closed.