Jesus is now not just available everywhere, but he is even more beefy.
None of this should surprise anyone in the fast food or religious areas. After all, a Catholic priest confirmed that an image on a Mexican restaurant fry stove was that of the Virgin Mary here. Jesus has also been discovered in hamburger grease, here. That was more greasy than beefy, however. There is also the sighting of the Jesus french fry, though that is more crunchy than beefy, here.
Drive-through Jesus could replace the plastic Jesus as a cultural icon to the chagrin of Ed Rush and George Cromarty.
Well, I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I’ll go far.{Refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I’ll go far.I don’t care if it rains or freezes
As long as I’ve got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He’s Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you’re travelling far{Refrain}
I don’t care if it’s dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car
I feel I’m protected amply
I’ve got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car{Refrain}
You can buy a Sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin’ ninety, I’m not wary
‘Cause I’ve got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won’t go to Hell{Refrain}
I don’t care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don’t I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car{Refrain}
No, I don’t care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he’ll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he’ll leave a scar{Refrain}
Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don’t mind
Trouble coming, he don’t see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behindPlastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to parWhen pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who’s boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it’s seldom that they live to see the morningPlastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they’ll scatter or they’ll splatter near and farWhen I’m in a traffic jam
He don’t care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn’t hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soulPlastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn’t quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigarGod made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master planNaughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my vanWhen I’m goin’ fornicatin
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin’ on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I’m on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin’ on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Sneerin’ from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Leering from the dashboard of my vanIf I weave around at night
And the police think I’m tight
They’ll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He’s hollow, and I use Him for a flaskPlastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tS0mTXLoPsI/SnoTKrG5DrI/AAAAAAAAA6w/0T_UJEOjX2Q/s1600-h/friendrequestfromjesus.jpg
Thought you’d like this one too.
Buddha Is Laughing : “For Sale Lesbian Monkey Trainer”
ah ambiguity, the Devil’s volleyball
one night while tending bar I had a rather amusing experience with a woman regarding a red wine glass.
Communion Crackers? They are Wafers I tell you, wafers. This is funny. So where is the song about Cardinal Spellman. The man that almost destroyed New York in his Arch Conservative ways.
the “body of Christ now comes with a side of fries and Coke. I wonder if I can now get my communion cracker “Super Sized”?
Damn, JT, I rushed to add my comment about “Plastic Jesus” and you beat me too it. Here’s the video spoilsport:
Nice catch, pardon. My favorite FM song. By a long shot. Yeah, yeah, it’s Mick’s band – great band too, but when Lindsey Buckingham is with them it was magic. His solo stuff is good too.
I went to a funeral mass a couple of weeks ago and cannot deny getting caught up in some communal feelings of peace and tranquility. Beautiful, harmonious voices in the choir had me somewhat hypnotized.
Now, I confess to you, my cyber brothers and sisters, that I have not fully previewed the video below, grievious fault, and I hope the images throughout are as enjoyable for you as those in the first couple of minutes have been for me. (Dadgum dial-up, but better than naught.) And no, this was not one of the choir’s hymns. Enjoy your Sunday!
Ahhhh, accidental advertising comedy. Is there nothing you can’t make funny?
Now I’m off to get a large fry and a Double Christ with cheese.
It is Sunday after all.
I’ll have to share this bit of advertising humor although not accidental. I have no photo despite going back to get one the next day. The sign was already changed. A pawn shop in Dallas I used to pass from the highway frequently had a high lit board with a “letter board” on the bottom so they could post custom messages. One day me and a lady friend are on that stretch of road when she starts laughing at an inappropriate time. I asked what was so funny and she pointed to the pawn shop sign:
“For Sale Lesbian Monkey Trainer”
Not accidental, sure, but we laughed trying to guess if it was lesbians training monkeys, a trainer that specializes in lesbian monkeys or a lesbian monkey working as a trainer.
The next day they had changed to sign to another joke, just not as memorable.