Bear Necessities of Law: Man Acquitted of Disturbing Bears in San Francisco Zoo

250px-Grizzlybear55Kenneth Herron may have picked the wrong cage but apparently the right counsel. Herron was acquitted of “disturbing dangerous animals” on a novel defense by deputy public defender James Conger. Conger argued that the bears were actually not that disturbed when Herron came into their cage after the San Francisco Zoo closed.

Herron, 21, was facing a misdemeanor charge for entering the zoo on September 26th. He went into the cage with two 500-pound grizzlies. One bear sniffed Herron’s shoe but then fled when a zoo official fired a warning shot. Conger argued that one bear sniffing a shoe does not a disturbed grizzly make.

This is a disturbed grizzly defending against a real cougar (as opposed to a conger).

Notably, this is not the first controversy involving humans versus animals at the zoo, here.

The jury agreed with Conger and found no disturbance. Moreover,
Superior Court Judge Wallace Douglass ruled the day before that a trespassing charge against Herron could not proceed because the prosecution couldn’t prove that he intended to “occupy” the cage — particularly given his mental problems.

In the end, Conger proved that a 150 pound lawyer is more dangerous than two 500-pound grizzly bears.

For future cases, here is a zoological expert on the bear necessities of life:

For the full story, click here.

27 thoughts on “Bear Necessities of Law: Man Acquitted of Disturbing Bears in San Francisco Zoo”

  1. Byron,

    “Except I do have a gay decorating side, or so my wife says. But I am strictly into leather (please no vinyl),” There’s a set up I’m not touching with a 10 foot pole.

  2. nal: “AY, I sensing a lack of sincerity. You need more practice in that area.”


    “The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.”
    Jean Giraudoux
    French diplomat, dramatist, & novelist (1882 – 1944) Also attributed to Louis B Mayer and others.

    True though, no matter who said it.

  3. AY:

    I am 100% male. Except I do have a gay decorating side, or so my wife says. But I am strictly into leather (please no vinyl), wood, glass, stone and earth/nature colors. No pastels or other sheshe embellishments. I also have a fondness for Japanese gardens and Bonsai.

  4. nal 1, November 5, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Finding someone else’s typos ain’t no indication of “superior grammatical ability.” It is an indication of a slow reader. (That would be “slow” in the speed sense.)

    Oh no, we must all bow to nal’s superior anointing by the owner of the blawg. That is how we play this game. See what “jonathanturley, said on November 5, 2009 at 1:43 pm.


    Nal may be a mad scientist bent on the destruction of humanity but he is OUR mad scientists . . . and he corrects typos. Any evil plans of world domination pale in comparison to his eradication of editing errors on this blog.”

    Oh Hail nal, oh hail nal, oh great provocateur of linguistic juxtapose and as Bryon said “N. A. L. – Nadir Al Locution” Oh master of the blawg, allow me to correct the errors of my days.

  5. Buddha Is Laughing,


    Nice one, Byron. Got to love the translinguist puns.

    Buddha, why did you not just call him/her a hermaphrodite? Translinguist!!!!!

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