Kenneth Herron may have picked the wrong cage but apparently the right counsel. Herron was acquitted of “disturbing dangerous animals” on a novel defense by deputy public defender James Conger. Conger argued that the bears were actually not that disturbed when Herron came into their cage after the San Francisco Zoo closed.
Herron, 21, was facing a misdemeanor charge for entering the zoo on September 26th. He went into the cage with two 500-pound grizzlies. One bear sniffed Herron’s shoe but then fled when a zoo official fired a warning shot. Conger argued that one bear sniffing a shoe does not a disturbed grizzly make.
This is a disturbed grizzly defending against a real cougar (as opposed to a conger).
Notably, this is not the first controversy involving humans versus animals at the zoo, here.
The jury agreed with Conger and found no disturbance. Moreover,
Superior Court Judge Wallace Douglass ruled the day before that a trespassing charge against Herron could not proceed because the prosecution couldn’t prove that he intended to “occupy” the cage — particularly given his mental problems.
In the end, Conger proved that a 150 pound lawyer is more dangerous than two 500-pound grizzly bears.
For future cases, here is a zoological expert on the bear necessities of life:
For the full story, click here.
Today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
Gyges,
Hmmm. Duke Ellington. Now that man had style. And slipping in the lounged up Love Boat theme into a set? That’s just awesome! I had a buddy who played in a funk band and about every third show they’d whip out the “Theme From Rawhide”. Yeah, they stole that gag, but it was always a hoot. I can just image the results for the Boat. I hope your singer does it in the style of this great lounge master, Nick:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FElGLG8ZV-Q&hl=en&fs=1&]
Note that that is Paul Schaffer with hair playing piano.
As an antidote to Buddha’s song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKD-1YvFjkk
As an anecdote to Buddha’s song:
I keep a copy of the theme from the Loveboat in my combo’s book of charts. Every now and then we whip it out and play it as loungey as we can, and then take it up to a little under triple time for the solos.
That always gets laughs.
Sure, sure, sure. It’s easy to be modest when you’re hiding behind a kitten! 😉
Finding someone else’s typos ain’t no indication of “superior grammatical ability.” It is an indication of a slow reader. (That would be “slow” in the speed sense.)
lol
Nice one, Byron. Got to love the translinguist puns.
Byron–
Sounds plausible to me. After all, I was schooled on that old saying: “The pen is mightier than the sword.”
BTW, I’m a proponent of weapons of mass instruction. I was one of those weapons until I retired from teaching a few years ago!
Byron:
“N. A. L. – Nadir Al Locution”
——
Nice one Byron
Elaine M:
“What if I told you that Nal is also a proofreader for the magazines Sada al-Malahim (The Echo of Battle) and Sada al-Jihad (The Echo of Jihad)? Bear that thought in mind.”
So his grand plan is to infiltrate this website, gain the Professors confidence and then strike at the heart of the infidels using superior grammatical ability as his weapon of mass instruction?
N. A. L. – Nadir Al Locution
Buddha, there are (musical) places I just will not go no matter how vigorous the prodding or enticement. Must. Not. Go. There….
Nice try though 🙂
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_wFEB4Oxlo&hl=en&fs=1&]
What was that you were saying, Lotta? 😉
Nal and ElaineM, youe comments made my day, I enjoy your poems EM. Nal, I won’t be able to get that tune out of my head either unless I just exorcize it by playing the album. Srsly, the people on this blawg are becoming the secret masters of my background-music selections; I should probably be very afraid over that 🙂
What if I told you that Nal is also a proofreader for the magazines Sada al-Malahim (The Echo of Battle) and Sada al-Jihad (The Echo of Jihad)? Bear that thought in mind.
***************
nal–
Here’s another little rhyming ditty about the grizzly bear for you. I wrote it many years ago when I was teaching elementary school. I just made a few changes to it so it would fit the story better.
GRIZZLY BEAR
I’m grizzly bear. I’m fierce and fat…
And dangerous. Remember that!
My teeth are sharp as sabers.
My curvy claws can cut like saws,
And when I prowl my cage I growl
And frighten all my neighbors.
I rule this place. This zoo is mine!
I ain’t NOBODY’S valentine!
Don’t think that you can be my friend…
My dinner?
Yum!
GULP!
The End
Bryon,
When I assumed that nal was a female, he quickly corrected my error. Otherwise sir, your statement is correct.
Mad Scientist, Nal, NAL or simply humble nal. He is indeed a welcomed addition to this site, freaky or not.
You know nal could stand for National Alliance of Librians.
AY:
do we know with certainty that nal is a he? If we dont isnt it a bit sexist to assume?
That is a freaky one coming from nal. I picture him being some type of library mole. But then again, he could be a mad scientist in reality or the making. You just never know.
Ay:
Nal may be a mad scientist bent on the destruction of humanity but he is OUR mad scientists . . . and he corrects typos. Any evil plans of world domination pale in comparison to his eradication of editing errors on this blog.
Someone told me
It’s all happening at the zoo.
I do believe it,
I do believe it’s true.
Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Whoooa. Mmmmm.
/Now I won’t be able to get that damn tune out of my head for the rest of the day.
As far as problems facing bears these days, stupid guy wandering into their habitat is pretty low on the list…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1225042/Germanys-bald-bears-Fur-disease-afflicts-Dolores-baffles-vets.html
Well I know who I’m calling if I get in trouble in Frisco!
Nice job, counselor! That’s crafty arguing.
Now, just do the right thing and make sure your boy gets the mental help he needs too.