Academia, Bizarre, Politics, Religion, Society

Fighting the Biblical Beast in Texas: Evangelical Kindergarten Teacher Challenges Fingerprinting as a Sign of the Biblical Beast

180px-The_number_of_the_beast_is_666_Philadelphia,_Rosenbach_Museum_and_LibraryAn evangelical Christian kindergarten teacher has sued Texas to contest the state’s right to require her to submit to fingerprinting. Pam McLaurin, however, is not alleging privacy or contractual violations. She is alleging that fingerprinting is the Mark of the Beast foretold in the Book of Revelations and thus violates her religious beliefs. It turns out that the Beast has laid the foundations for its Kingdom on Earth in the Texas Education Agency.

McLaurin is challenging the requirement of fingerprinting to get her certification under state law as part of a background check. She has already taught at the Big Sandy School District in Dallardsville for 20 years.

Her complaint states that “[McLaurin] does not believe that it is just coincidence that Revelations speaks about only those with the ‘mark on his forehead or finger’ will be able to buy or sell, since only those teachers that comply with the fingerprinting requirements will maintain their jobs.” She specifically cites Revelations 13:16-17 and 14:9-11.

Let’s go to the source, shall we?

Revelations 13:16-17 states:

16 He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads,

17 and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

Revelations 14:9-11 states:

And another angel, a third, followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and its image and receives a mark on his forehead or on his hand, 10 he also will drink the wine of God’s wrath, poured full strength into the cup of his anger, and he will be tormented with fire and sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. 11 And the smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever, and they have no rest, day or night, these worshipers of the beast and its image, and whoever receives the mark of its name.”

Now, from personal experience in teaching, I can say that the passage “And the smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever, and they have no rest, day or night, these worshipers of the beast and its image” is a reference to the tenure and promotion process.

The good thing is that the Bible does allow for unspecified damages and declaratory and injunctive relief from the defendants, including the Texas Education Agency, Texas State Board of Educator Certification, Commissioner Robert Scott and Associate Commissioner Jerel Booker. That is so much more practical that wiping them out with the jawbone of an ass. (Judges 15:14-17)

Of course, McLaurin’s theory would indicate that she is working for an agency already in league with the Beast. The decision of the Beast to use the TEA was a brilliant ploy. Notably, its website does contain a suspicious “StarChart” program and a mysterious project called the Texas Tomorrow Fund — one can only wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Now, I do not want to freak anyone out, but I have looked more closely at this Texas-style TEA beast. It cannot be an accident that the recommended temperature for white tea is 66 C or that it was introduced in places like Korea in 661, here. Indeed, there are the strange rock outcroppings called “The Devil’s Tea Table,” here, and even Devil’s Tea recipes, here. One has to be blind to miss the signs.

By the way, McLaurin’s claim is not unique. Her case is similar to a lawsuit by a group of Michigan farmers, some of them Amish, challenging rules requiring the tagging of. Amish farmers have contested the required use of RFID chips on livestock as the mark of the Beast (on beasts), here. A judge, however, recently dismissed that claim, here.

In the interests of full disclosure, I have also alleged discovery of the Biblical beast and the marking of hands in a prior column.

Now here is the Biblical kicker. Wayne Haglund, the lawyer for the Big Sandy Independent School District, actually supports McLaurin in her claim and believes that she has a legitimate religious claim. He insists that the district is “caught in the crossfire” of having to carry out the state law. So let me get this straight. Haglund believes that it is a legitimate and protected religious practice to believe that fingerprinting is a sign of the Beast and thus a teacher or potential teacher can decline to be checked in a computer system for felons. This is the case even though that Bible actually states that “The second beast of Revelation 13 will cause ‘all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads.” Fingerprinting does not leave a mark on your hand or forehead. It leaves it on a piece of paper that is then digitized. Under this bizarre interpretation, any ink, lotion, or impression left by McLaurin’s fingers could constitute a sign of the Beast. However, she is willing to take a photo and presumably a optic scanner or other imagining picture. Thus, what if the state simply takes a picture of her fingerprints directly on a digitized scanner? How is that different from asking her to take a high-resolution picture?

As we saw recently, some teachers are objecting to the required submission of DNA material for employment, here. While this objection is made on privacy (and logic) grounds, would McLaurin view DNA samples as a sign of the Beast?

Ironically, the resistance to large data banks of tracking and identification information is being opposed by liberals and evangelicals — albeit for vastly different reasons:

Privacy, however, remains a better basis for opposing some government intrusions than lunacy. How an image left on a paper is a credible belief of a mark left on a body is beyond me. While the school district may find this a credible claim, I doubt the courts would give it any more credence than the Amish farmers seeking to prevent farm beasts from being given the Sign of the Beast.

For the story, click here.

22 thoughts on “Fighting the Biblical Beast in Texas: Evangelical Kindergarten Teacher Challenges Fingerprinting as a Sign of the Biblical Beast”

  1. Okay here is my only question. Does Mrs. McLaurin have a valid drivers license? I know in the state of Texas, which she lives in, you are required to give your left and right thumb print in order to get your license. So why didn’t she scream MOB then? I fully believe in God and understand the mark of the beast but really come on fingerprinting? I guess she has never had to put her fingerprint on a check she cashed, oh and if she did would that be considered the mark of the beast also? Personally I think her argument is weak. She has children so lets put the shoe on the other foot. Would she want a teacher who she knows nothing about teaching her children? Especially one who refused fingerprinting which would just bring up past history? I don’t think so!

  2. “The good thing is that the Bible does allow for unspecified damages and declaratory and injunctive relief from the defendants, including the Texas Education Agency, Texas State Board of Educator Certification, Commissioner Robert Scott and Associate Commissioner Jerel Booker.”

    **************

    Oh contraire,the Bible has many references to judicial process:

    “Now, O king, establish the decree, and sign the writing, that it be not changed, according to the law of the Medes and Persians, which altereth not.”
    –Daniel 6:8 ( an obvious reference to declaratory relief)

    For the scripture saith, Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward.
    –I Timothy 5:18 (a clear, though apparently secondary, concern for payment of wages)

    Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid.
    –John 8:14 (Rules of Evidence)

    And if men strive together, and one smite another with a stone, or with [his] fist, and he die not, but keepeth [his] bed:
    If he rise again, and walk abroad upon his staff, then shall he that smote [him] be quit: only he shall pay [for] the loss of his time, and shall cause [him] to be thoroughly healed.
    –Exodus 21:18 (economic damages)

    If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart [from her], and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman’s husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges [determine].
    –Exodus 21:22 (unspecified personal injury damages)

    If the ox shall push a manservant or a maidservant; he shall give unto their master thirty shekels of silver, and the ox shall be stoned.
    –Exodus 21:32 (specified damages for negligent control of animals)

    And if a man shall open a pit, or if a man shall dig a pit, and not cover it, and an ox or an ass fall therein;
    The owner of the pit shall make [it] good, [and] give money unto the owner of them; and the dead [beast] shall be his.
    And if one man’s ox hurt another’s, that he die; then they shall sell the live ox, and divide the money of it; and the
    dead [ox] also they shall divide.
    –Exodus 21:33-35 (damages and partition for latent defects and conversion of personal property)

    If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
    And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
    Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth [the tokens of] the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
    And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
    And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech [against her], saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these [are the tokens of] my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
    And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
    And they shall amerce him in an hundred [shekels] of silver, and give [them] unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
    –Deuteronomy 22:13-19 (damages for marital cruelty)

    If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
    Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
    –Leviticus 22:28-29 (specified damages for rape)

    We can whoop these Texans in ecclesiastical court and in “real” court. Yippee!

  3. Elaine and rafflw,

    He may only Secede when we get back the entire Texas Republic as was in 1836.

  4. rafflaw–

    And takes his award with him–the one he received for being the governor of the state “Most Likely to Secede.”

  5. Elaine,
    I sure hope Perry goes with Texas when it secedes. The quicker he and his fellow Texans “Armageddon outta here” the better.

  6. rafflaw–

    I believe Gov. Rick Perry told his constituents the following in his speech about seceding from the US: “Come with me. Armageddon outta here!”

  7. What Ms. McLaurin fails to realize is that the Beast, a quite literate insurgent who has carefully studied Revelations, abandoned the old method some time ago and is now accomplishing its chilling task through the footprinting of infants before they even leave the hospital.

  9. Mike you are right about Armageddon. This latest nonsense from the State of Texas proves once and for all that Texas SHOULD secede from the Union. Please!

  10. I don’t believe in The Book of Revelations, not only as a non-Christian, but also from the fact that it obviously has no place in the Christian Canon being so different from the portrayal of Jesus in the Gospels. The human race may wind up in Armeegeddon, but I’m certain it will be because of some crazy and a nuclear mistake and not thedoing of SAtan and the Anti-Christ.

  12. How rare that one by their own words proves themselves unfit to do the job they have applied for.

  13. Wait a second… if the Mark of the beast is fingerprints, than the only people going to heaven are those suffering from severe scarring or amputation?

  14. So.. she thinks the Texas Education Agency is an agent of the beast/anti-Christ/devil/whatever, and she wants to keep working for them?

    “Oh yea, I work for Satan, and I have no problem with that. I just don’t want to get tagged. What if Hell goes into bankruptcy and I have to apply for Team Heaven?”

  15. Couldn’t she just print her left hand twice or one full left hand and all of the right except the middle finger? That would be the mark of a holy christian in the fingerprint bank. I agree with Lottakatz, her faith is weak.

  18. I’m surprised she’s fighting this, as a fundamentalist should she not be fired and welcome her firing as an opportunity to witness for the lord through her suffering at the hands of the godless? Her faith seems to be as weak as her argument.

  19. Amen, Amen I say unto thee, get me my bottle while I flee. It is Jack Daniels if you please. Fingerprint me and see what a charm I can be. I will teach your children to be just like me.

Comments are closed.