In light of Father Jones’ advising to the spiritual shoplifters (here), I wanted to offer my own spiritually lifting story for the holiday.
A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it from the beer tap. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The cowboy replies, “Well, I have two brothers. One’s in Australia, the other’s in Dublin, and I’m in Texas. When we all left home, we promised we’d drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself.” The bartender admits this is a nice custom. The cowboy becomes a regular, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to pry, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.” The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then he laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church so I had to quit drinking.