Vampire Jailed for Threatening to Torture and Kill Judge and His Family

Jonathan Sharkey, 44, was once a proud vampire who ran for president and other public offices while leading the Vampyre Nation. Now, he has been arrested for allegedly threatening to torture and kill Judge David Certo.

This is not the first confrontation between the Vampyre Nation and the rest of the nation for Sharkey. (By the way, the bloodsuckers over at Vampyre Nation have their own competition for top blogs of the occult and are soliciting votes from the living, undead, and dead among us).

He was previously arrested on charges of stalking a teenage girl. He ultimately pleaded guilty to two counts of invasion of privacy and was ordered to attend mental health treatment. He also pleaded guilty to Escape, a Class D Felony, the day before his scheduled Jury Trial in Courtroom 9 of the Marion County Superior Court. (State v. Rocky Flash, 49F09-0508-FD-148312)

Now, the man sometimes called “Rocky Flash” allegedly threatened to beat, torture, impale, dismember, decapitate, and kill the wife and children of Judge David Certo, who is presiding over another case involving Sharkey. Notably, a librarian noticed him typing out the threats on a Speedway Public Library computer and called police. (I would be interested in how an employee was able to monitor such text).

Sharkey insists that he is only subject to the “vampire laws” — a point disproven by his criminal record. He has been jailed and again pleaded guilty to felony intimidation — with 884 days in jail. This might not be the ideal cellmate for most inmates.

Here is a picture from better times for the undead (yes, that is the former Miss America).

For the full story, click here and here.

17 thoughts on “Vampire Jailed for Threatening to Torture and Kill Judge and His Family”

  1. Unfortunately he’s not a member of the bush admin, CIA, police or armed forces, so he’ll be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

    funny how when we have proof our leaders ordered torture, there’s not an investigation… but if a citizen makes a threat… BUSTED!

  2. Who are we to judge what a vampire desires? It’s a problem that’s hard to get your teeth into!

    I mean, there are a lot of bloodsuckers around the place so no one is safe really.

  3. It’s nuts like him that give vampires a bad rap. Real life vampires are extremists; otherwise I think it’s fine to dabble a bit in the occult for amusement and pleasure.

  4. Proof that not all vampires look like Robert Pattinson, Tom Cruise, or Brad Pitt. This guy stuns his victims into submission with the ugly.

  5. The case of him stalking a teen-aged girl happened in Rochester, MN., where I live. The paper was full of waaaaaayyyy out there quotes from him. His actions totally scared the girl and her family. Calling him psychotic would be appropriate! And isn’t his last name perfect?

  6. The way to kill a lot of vampires at once is to kill the pure blood undead that spawned them. Unfortunately in this country, the Prince of the Undead spends most of his time in an undisclosed location and instead sends out his thralls and puppets to do his bidding.

    Isn’t that right, Mary?

  7. No, there are special creams for that. Just a few smears and you’re good to go for two hours in an emergency! It’s a kind of “day cream”.

  8. Wow! This guy is waaaaay out there! I am surprised that he is not locked up in a mental institution. Elaine, this guy is too weird, even for Night Court.

  9. Okay apparently he’s just upset that he didn’t get to see that new vampire movie, New Moon the first night it came out, so it caused him emotional distress. I heard that the judge and his teenage daughter were right in front of him in line and they got the last two tickets.

    He just wasn’t thinking clearly

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