Laying Hands on the Faithful: Pastor Rick Warren Calls for a Million Dollars from the Faithful

First, there was Rod Parsley saying that Satan has been messing around with his bank accounts and needs a massive infusion of cash to fight his demonic plan, here. Now, fellow Evangelical pastor Rick Warren has asked for roughly a million dollars from his faithful due to a few end of the year shortfalls in cash flow. Given these calls to the faithful, I wish to add my own discovery of a demonic plan to deny me of ready cash and call upon everyone on this blog to send me money immediately to fight for righteous and redemptive blogging.

Warren, who was the controversial choice of President Barack Obama to given the inaugural prayer, sent an “urgent letter” to all of the parishioners to the Saddleback Church Web stating, “With 10 percent of our church family out of work due to the recession, our expenses in caring for our community in 2009 rose dramatically while our income stagnated.” While not blaming Satan ala Parsley, Warren warned followers that “the bottom dropped out” and that “[o]n the last weekend of 2009, our total offerings were less than half of what we normally receive — leaving us $900,000 in the red for the year.”

Warren is the author of numerous books, including the best-selling “The Purpose Driven Life.” The purpose now appears to remain solvent at Saddleback.

For the full story, click here.

40 thoughts on “Laying Hands on the Faithful: Pastor Rick Warren Calls for a Million Dollars from the Faithful”

  1. [youtube=]

    Interesting poetry I heard at a party last night. This is a bit of spoken word by the metal band Stone Sour.

    WARNING: Contains language some might find harsh.

  2. Mammon needs your dollars! Er, um, ah, Jesus! Yeah, Jesus needs your dollars!

    Ricky? Have you ever read about the money changers? No? Didn’t think so.

  3. “Where do I send you money for the supplies, Blouise? You should start a website called: John 2:13-16.”

    Don’t do that! All of them *Johns* will think that it is a “dating/escort” site…

  4. I wonder how much money Warren made last year and if this might refill the till.

    (If you give to this man or church, I will pray for you and your stupidity)

  5. Where do I send you money for the supplies, Blouise? You should start a website called: John 2:13-16.

  6. No one bother me for the next few minutes as I am constructing my whip of chords.

    “So he made a whip out of cords and drove all from the Temple, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said: ‘Get out of here.’ (John 2:13-16)”

    Snap … crack … thwack, Snap … crack … thwack

    You’re welcome.

  7. Bob, Esq.

    Contact me off of the list. I am setting up a special account as we speak. I need a million 5 for the start of the mission on the small island off the coast of new found money.

  8. And the “faithful” sheep will send the money and never know they’ve been fleeced—once again.

  9. And the “faithful” sheep will send the money and never know they’ve been fleeced.

  10. ektachrome,

    What a wonderful idea. I’m certain Pastor Warren could make up the difference and then some with his yearly salary. Being such a charity minded man, so humble, so unconcerned with worldly things, he will surely, gladly give up his salary for next year in service to this most desperate emergency.

  11. The Left Reverend Brother Turley,

    To legitimatize your request from us faithful brethrens, you must state an outrageous sum of money to ensure us that you are religiously truthful.

  12. This is a fairly common tactic among large evangelical churches.

    For example, the largest Southern Baptist Church in Pensacola, Florida, Olive Road Baptist Church, has a pastor who calls on his congregation to give 100% of their income for one month a year — “and see how the Lord blesses.”

    The implication is that you will not be “blessed” if you do not give. And if you don’t give, you show a “lack of faith.”

    In the past Rick Warren has been highly critical of “Prosperity Gospel” preachers (i.e., Rod Parsley) calling it a “false gospel” — so Warren has to be careful not to appear to embrace what he has already labeled a heresy.

    Of course, his church has to remain solvent — maybe Warren should give 100% of his income?

  13. Send your money to Jesus but make the checks out to “Rick Warren.” Hey… I like that!

  14. Here’s Mr Warren on charity: “Mr. Warren continues, “You have to develop a complex economy, where one says I’ll make the hooks, I’ll catch the fish, I’ll can the fish, I’ll skin the fish, I’ll fry the fish, I’ll do the fish accounting, I’ll build the boats. I’ll franchise the fish markets. The answer to poverty is business development, not charity. . . . Trade, not aid.”

    So I am wondering where is all that money really going to?

    P.S. Contains an interesting quote about Jews most certainly going to hell. Sorry JT, but them’s the rules!

  15. Shouldn’t this be renamed to Fleecing the Faithful? The folks after all are his sheeple? Sheep, Pastor, People?

  16. Stan has been working over time and does not have a dime to shine. Now Satan has taken Stan’s money to make sure Warren has a new honey. Or at least a Take Out Honey.

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