Bizarre, Politics, Religion, Society

Perdition in Pink: Religious Groups Protest Release of Pink Quija Board

Religious groups are sounding the alarm over the release of a soul-sucking, spirit-crushing new product released by those heathens at Hasbro. It is a pink version of the Ouija board that has corrupted millions of children in this country and turned them into satanic, soulless zombies. All that for just $19.99!

Stephen Phelan, communications director for Human Life International, is alerting families to the new edition designed to appeal to young girls. Lord only knows what answers the “spirits” will spell out for girls. One can easily imagine the spirits spelling out “Join N.O.W.” or “Read About Bella Abszug.”

Religious conservatives have launched a boycott, here.

Phelan warns that it is a “dangerous spiritual game . . . It’s not Monopoly. It really is a dangerous spiritual game and for [Hasbro] to treat it as just another game is quite dishonest.” He reminded young girls that the Bible says “not to mess with spirits” and that they could endanger their souls. (I cannot remember the “don’t mess with spirits” thing in the Bible but I do recall the mention of Hasbro in the Book of Revelation in discussing the Biblical Beast:

Revelation 13:16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to play Quija:
Revelation 13:17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he first spell the name of the Hasbro, or the number of his name on Quija.
Revelation 13:18 Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six which shall be spelled out in Quija at night during pajama parties and the little beasties shall be told not to tell their parents.

Phelan insists, for good reason, that “[a]ll Christians should know, well everyone should, that it’s opening up a person to attack, spiritually.” I wish I had a nickel for every drug addict and prostitute that I have met in criminal cases who decry the night their friends brought over that Quija board.

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28 thoughts on “Perdition in Pink: Religious Groups Protest Release of Pink Quija Board”

  2. Amon Re said that he is gay because of bad experiences with a nun…

    Nunsense. It was the Closet Priest that helped you beat the beast. That is why you are a Gay Funeral Director, living on the edge in MO. The show me state.

  4. C.Everett Kook: Thank you kind sir, your Goldberg experiance was my first laugh of the day.

  5. the real evil is Mousetrap

    yes…I am…a Goldberger

    I’ve been Goldberging since about 1965 I guess

    it starts off innocently, some rope, a balloon, a cat or two, a pulley and a bowling ball. But it’s not enough, soon you’ll want more and better rope, blimps, a zoo-load of animals and, when bowling balls no longer suffice, anvils.

    The lowpoint of my life was the day I created and attempted to use a Goldberg that would move my head slightly to the left.

    A minor miscalculation with the number three marble(1) caused it to jump the rail and land on the treadmill(2) thats when the pony slipped(3) when the treadmill stopped so did the lawn sprinkler(4) now that there was no water pressure to keep the number 4 cage closed, the chickens escaped(5) the mad rush of chickens knocked the tank of nitrus oxide(6) from the rocket(7) leaving us all giggling like schoolgirls(8).

    Coincidently this all took place slightly to my left, so I guess it worked after all

    I no longer Goldberg, now if I want to change the channel on the TeeVee I use the the remote like the normals

  8. Ha yeah right Im gay because of bad experiences with a nun…damn if that was a main requirement there would be many more gays than there are now…and I never had a priest ever do anything inappropriate to me or do I know any of my friends gay or straight who had those things happen to them at least not when they were children….

    I will take your message as a joke…since your a Fixated Neurotic what eles could it be..

    P.S.
    All kidding aside..most of the nuns I had and in 13 years of both Catholic grade and high school were the most dedicated women to god the church and their students you would ever be lucky to find.

  9. Amon Re,

    Is that why you are Gay? You had a bad experience with the Sister and the good father gave you something to play with? You know that if this is the reason you have chosen to be Homosexual. You can rethink your choices? This should make life easier for you now.

  10. Things dont change much…back in grade school the nuns, I think it was Sister Elizabeth or Mary Claude who told us that playing with a Ouija board was bad cause it was a devils plaything…and you could go to hell, just like bad thoughts and going to protestant weddings..

  12. This religious group just admitted that it believes in the power of the Quija? It is afraid of de evil spirits? Flunk. Moving farther and farther into the irrelevant zone…. (dodododo…)

  13. I dispute that IT IS JUST A GAME. Fools shall perish at their own peril. I am the Master and no one shall enter into life without a proper consult. The starting rates are about 250 per half hour. Please consult your service provider for more details.

  14. It would seem that I am also on the same channel.
    The worst outcome from the good spook that my kids got a few years ago while at a sleep over at my sister’s house, was the spook they eventually got from me. You see Ouija resulted in a week or so of lost sleep for the boys, and thus for me.

  15. But we need to be honest here . . . Ouija is just a game.

    Parcheesi is a tool of the Devil. 😀

    And Yahtzee? A gateway game to shooting craps.

    Since Lucifer often gets credit for inventing language, can there be a more evil game than Scrabble? And its lesser ilk of demonic gamery fiends like Boggle?

    The world is full of dangers.

  17. Monopoly is a much more dangerous game than Ouija.

    It teaches unlimited greed.

    Ouija lets kids get in touch with their subconscious while enjoying a good spooking perhaps, but how is that different from any other kind of playing? Seeing a scary movie – a common teen activity. Or reading a book. Or looking at a painting. Or simply looking out the window in contemplation.

    There are a lot more imminent dangers to children in this world than Ouija boards. You want a board game that’s dangerous to children?

    School Board.

    How about being worried about your kids getting the basic education they need to be productive and informed members of society instead of being dumbed down into cattle.

    At least that’s what the Ouija board told me to tell you.

    All hail the hypno-toad, er, Ouija! Conveniently packed in pink just in time for the Valentine’s Day. Conveniently drawn attention to by protestors.

    Circles can be so funny.

  18. Enough of your devil worship, AY. I sentence you to the play the game of “Life” until you pass from the Earth.

  19. A Prophet once said that it Profits no man to not let Hasbro Profit. For it is easier to enter into a deal with the devil than to get the QUIJA to respond.

    Do I hear a Jumangi?

  20. “Phelan warns that it is a “dangerous spiritual game . . . It’s not Monopoly.”

    *************

    There’s something quite revelatory in that statement. What underpins Quija board games is the belief in some ancient superstition about voices from beyond the grave and our collective urge to reach them for guidance — a trait the game shares with Christianity. There’s a reason the central figure of the religion, though deceased, is prayed to in an effort for spiritual understanding and enlightenment.

    What underpins games like “Monopoly” is is the annoying primate urge to hoard things, and then to boast about it with an ostentatious display of wealth. There’s a reason the central figure of the game is dressed in white tie,tails,and a top hat. It’s much more a game of avarice than accomplishment.

    The antipathy I see from the religious right concerning Quija boards seems founded on the enmity one has against a rival. It’s tacit praise for the game “Monopoly” likewise seems founded on the neo-Christian tenet of prosperity theology. There was a time when accumulation of wealth was seen as an impediment to salvation (See Mark 10:25). No more. That little inconvenient part of scripture apparently has been dispensed with by more modern fundamentalist Christian sects.

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