I have long argued that torts professors should be assigned to the U.S. Olympic team Now, a German athlete has been injured by the fact that Olympic medals omit the warning that “biting into this medal may cause dental injury.” The victim, David Moeller was the unwitting victim when he bit into his silver medal in the luge only to break his front tooth.
Now, Moeller has a silver medal and a possible gold tooth.
Moeller wisely has been creating a record of the litigation, noting “it is annoying when you can’t smile as you normally do. And because I want to have nice pictures and happy memories of my Olympic Games, I went to the dentist to get it repaired.” Trust me David your pain and suffering will be addressed in our lawsuit as well as any loss of consortium and infliction of emotional distress.
Notably, the medals include material from recycled circuit boards, here. This could be a field day for a personal injury claim.
Had the Olympic committees not barred lawyers on these teams, he could have bit down on a business card while being chased by an international delegation of lawyers.
When will his dental holocaust end? This is just going to continue until warnings are added prominently to each medal and waiver forms completed on the podiums before each ceremony. Otherwise we will be watching snowboarders doing inverted incisors and bicuspid bonks.
The good news is that he can now be fitted with a full grill, here.
I want the U.S. Olympic committee to know I am ready. I just need a spandex outfit, hand warmers, and snowmobile.
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