Silver Medalist Gets Gold Filling: Defective Olympic Medals Cause German Luge Athlete to Receive Emergency Dental Care

I have long argued that torts professors should be assigned to the U.S. Olympic team Now, a German athlete has been injured by the fact that Olympic medals omit the warning that “biting into this medal may cause dental injury.” The victim, David Moeller was the unwitting victim when he bit into his silver medal in the luge only to break his front tooth.

Now, Moeller has a silver medal and a possible gold tooth.

Moeller wisely has been creating a record of the litigation, noting “it is annoying when you can’t smile as you normally do. And because I want to have nice pictures and happy memories of my Olympic Games, I went to the dentist to get it repaired.” Trust me David your pain and suffering will be addressed in our lawsuit as well as any loss of consortium and infliction of emotional distress.

Notably, the medals include material from recycled circuit boards, here. This could be a field day for a personal injury claim.

Had the Olympic committees not barred lawyers on these teams, he could have bit down on a business card while being chased by an international delegation of lawyers.

When will his dental holocaust end? This is just going to continue until warnings are added prominently to each medal and waiver forms completed on the podiums before each ceremony. Otherwise we will be watching snowboarders doing inverted incisors and bicuspid bonks.

The good news is that he can now be fitted with a full grill, here.

I want the U.S. Olympic committee to know I am ready. I just need a spandex outfit, hand warmers, and snowmobile.

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15 thoughts on “Silver Medalist Gets Gold Filling: Defective Olympic Medals Cause German Luge Athlete to Receive Emergency Dental Care”

  1. Actually the medals are made from recycled materials, such as gold, silver and bronze which, duh, come from circuit boards too. Boards alone do not a circuit make. No one is competing for the plastic or wafer board medals. Except maybe you.

    Unless you want to say that “metal” isn’t a material component of circuit boards again.

    Try improving on the sloppy criticism.

  2. “the medals include material from recycled circuit boards”

    The materials are the actual metals, such as gold, not the substrate.

    Try improving on the sloppy reporting.

  3. My wife’s family’s puns are legendary, at least locally. They all have the same first name: Crazy uncle Bob, Crazy aunt Hilda, Crazy cousin George…

  4. Professor Turley & Buddha,

    I am rarely out of pun-making mode. Iā€™m always ready to pounce on language. I can’t help myself! It’s like an addiction. Being an inveterate punster has its positives and negatives though. I do try to keep my verbal urges under control because I so often hear groans emitting from people who are in my immediate company. Still, wordplay is so much fun.

    To be sure, I’m not the only Turley Blawg regular who likes to include a clever turn of phrase or a pun or two along with his/her comments.

    Or maybe even a great Month Python video!!! šŸ™‚

  5. Maybe the medals should be made of chocolate. I see athletes trying to bite them at just about every ceremony.

    1. God I wish I had thought of that Elaine. Missed puns continue to haunt me in the night.

  6. I hear tell that they have seized some grills in forfeiture cases. Maybe they might want to try this as an option…..

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