Small is Beautiful: Papua Police Ban “Enhanced” Officers

In our coverage of police related stories, this one is a bit odd. Police officers in Indonesia’s Papua now must be politically and anatomically correct. Faced with problems associated with local measures of male personal enhancement, the department is following the global business model of downsizing.

Each new applicant will be asked “whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged.” Local enhancements, including the wearing of gourds and the use of a type of itching powder (you will have to read the article) have proven “hindrance during training.”
For the full story, click here.

12 thoughts on “Small is Beautiful: Papua Police Ban “Enhanced” Officers”

  1. Well it has been stated that some of our founding fathers died of lets say, VD. Hmm, wrapping the penis in a leave. I wonder if it was in biblical proportions?

  2. I suspect a couple of our bloggers are already planting Itchy Tree Groves.

  3. Um, given Sunday football, basketball season, baseball, golf tee times (Fore! v. fore play), workin’ on hot rod engines/crusin’ with the top down, and those irritating weekend honey-do projects, ain’t every fella got the time (or, well, ya know) to devote to being a

  4. FF Leo–

    I thought most of you fellas were more than happy to accommodate most of us gals, you know, in our expressed **hour** of need.
    Does it always have to be Us v. You Guys? That’s not the way I look at it.

    Regarding “gourdgeous”: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


  5. Ms EM wrote:

    “…poor women…in their **hour** of need.”

    Now see, that there is the eternal time-immemorial, present, and future root cause of Venus v. Mars…

  6. “…including the wearing of gourds…”

    I wonder if that is the reason for the supposed etymologically correct derivation of the term ‘gourdgeous’, meaning pleasing or beautiful?

  7. Professor Turley–

    I love the symbolistic nature of the photos you posted along with this story.

    Such a shame! Now the poor women of Papua will have to get by with gourdless policemen in their hour of need.

    I’d like to know what that “hindrance during training” is. Do you suppose the applicants have a hard time running? (No double-entendre intended.)

  8. “If the defense is validated, I fully expect a new warning on the drugs to contain the words, “If one still has homicidal ideations after 4 hours, please consult your physician or defense counsel.””


    Can you imagine if these preparations were synergistic with Twinkie intake? I guess the fact that we are all still alive belies that interaction. 😀

  9. What?

    I guess this makes two days in a row someone has put hallucinogens in my coffee.

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