Knocked Down To Planetary Private: Jupiter Mysteriously Loses A Stripe

Jupiter appears to have had something of an unexpected face lift. After the planet moved behind the Sun for three months, it emerged without one of its signature red stripes — leaving scientists searching for an explanation. In military ranks, this would indicate a drop from planetary corporal to private.

The scientists were astonished when they focused telescopes in on Jupiter only to find its band in the Southern Hemisphere missing.

The belts of Jupiter are clouds that blow at 350 pmh. The highest white clouds are composed of crystals of frozen ammonia. The lowest darker clouds are are composed of sulphur and phosphorus.

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21 thoughts on “Knocked Down To Planetary Private: Jupiter Mysteriously Loses A Stripe”

  1. Gyges,

    The Bad Astronomer is great! He does to moon hoaxers what Vince Treacy does to birthers. From what he says it looks like Jupiter’s belt just got covered up – maybe it should lay off of the fried chicken and get more exercise flinging debris out of the solar system…

  2. It shouldn’t be a mystery that Jupiter just lost some of its color after staying out of the sun for a few months. That and a little sunscreen and it lost one of its stripes!

  3. I used to carry a bit of a torch for Geena Davis.

    Unfortunately, even done up as a fly, Jeff Goldblum is a bit better looking than me.

    So that was that.

  4. First it was Venus in Blue Jeans, then Pluto’s planetary stripping, and now it’s Jupiter’s Stripped Stripe …just an IAU Burlesque Show conspiracy to drum up monetary support of astronomical proportions for NASA’s next interplanetary space expedition entitled “Heavens to Betsy”

  5. “It means that the invasion is imminent.”

    ‘An invasion is a military offensive consisting of all, or large parts of the armed forces of one geopolitical entity aggressively entering territory controlled by another such entity, generally with the objective of either conquering, liberating or re-establishing control or authority over a territory, forcing the partition of a country, altering the established government or gaining concessions from said government, or a combination thereof. ‘~

    and we have been throwing spacecrap out there for years…so not invasion, think retaliation….

  6. Ming:”Aliens learn about Earthling vulnerabilities by watching movies and news shows on TV broadcasts”

  7. Jupiter lost its belt!

    Now its pants will fall down!

    Ha, ha, ha!

  8. There is no secret here. Jupiter is upset that Pluto has been relegated to prancing about with the Moon, Io, Europa, Ganymede, Callisto, Titan and Triton. He’s simply thrown in a towel on the matter.

    Planets have feelings too….

  9. It is the aliens’ way of signaling their secret messages to their disguised allies on the Earth. It is a lot like semaphore or flag signals.

    It means that the invasion is imminent.

    The allies of the aliens can be anyone and everyone you know.

    Just because you are paranoid does not mean that the evil aliens are not out to get you, now!

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.*

    Watch the skies!**

    *The Fly.

    **The Thing.

    [Movie references. Aliens learn about Earthling vulnerabilities by watching movies and news shows on TV broadcasts].

  10. That’s right Slarti, although the red spot is diminishing as that particular storm dies out. I think there is another similar storm gathering elsewhere on the planet, so in a few generations the red spot will have been replaced.

  11. Very cool, an astrophysical mystery in our own back yard… I notice that the red spot is still there, though.

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