No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service

Ever wonder why bears steal picnic baskets? Because no one will serve them.

We are still at Shrine Mont this morning and enjoying the retreat with the various families. The salamander harvest has been robust and the s’mores have been ideally prepared (and eaten). While it rained hard yesterday, spirits are high and we are returning today.

35 thoughts on “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service”

  1. This cool bear is simply restin’ at ease, sittin’ n’ contemplatin’ ’bout…

  2. ursinism, plain and simple, I weep for my country

    Stop the hate

  3. V12,

    Your are right, that bear is just a ham at readin’ He is no real Hamm’s Beer Bear.

  4. mespo,

    ” … These folks seem hell bent to bring this nation into civil war again. …”


    Sadly, I suspect you are right about that. For some it is a conscious aspiration; for others a sub-conscious desire.

  5. DiLorenzo is one of those new-Confederate academics still fighting the Civil War by disparaging Lincoln. His arguments are re-treads of the same ones made by other second place finishers like Jefferson Davis and the unremarkable members of his cabinet. Very sporting of Dr. D to use the words of Lincoln’s sworn enemies to establish Lincoln’s character, by the way.

    You’ve heard them all before: Lincoln’s a racist, Lincoln hated the slaves, the War was about money not slavery, Lincoln was a war criminal, blah, blah, …. Maybe that’s why his 2002 book “The Real Lincoln” was met with a yawn by other historians. They have that peevish habit of wanting books on history to be historically accurate and devoid of the emotional rantings of a tent revival preacher on a hot summer night with $35.00 in his pocket and a bill at the motel for $100.00.

    Here’s just some of the “history” of the Civil War as related by Dr. DiLorenzo:

    “The South did not “embark on a shooting war'” Lincoln did. The states were sovereign, and therefore had a right to secede, as they do today. Article 7 of the Constitution proves this by stating that the Constitution is to be ratified by political conventions of the states. No human being was harmed, let alone killed during the bombing of Fort Sumter. South Carolinians considered the fort to be their property, paid for with their tax dollars, and erected for their protection. Lincoln responded to Fort Sumter with a full-scale invasion of all the Southern states that ended up killing some 350,000 Southerners. For this he is hailed as “a great statesman” by our court historians.”

    Oh, really! I suppose those 34 hours of cannon balls reigning in on the US troops at Fort Sumter on April 12, 1861 were filled with cognac, or maybe the good folks of Charleston felt that since they owned the fort, they could blow it up at their leisure — collateral damage like a few hundred American soldiers be damned. It is true that no union soldiers were killed in the bombardment but that is due more to the ineptitude of the insurgent gunners than to their largess.

    DiLorenzo is exactly the kind of “scholar” one would expect Tootie to gravitate too. Without critical thinking skills (or maybe just a average grasp on reality) the neo-facsist in our midst seeks any straw to support her unsupportable positions on race, centralized government, probably even whether its grits or gravy at breakfast.

    As inevitable as the morning dew in September, DiLorenzo gave himself and his separatist cult away in 2004 when he vigorously defended the South’s “right” to secede. Maybe we could get him to secede and take ol’ Jefferson Tootie with him. These folks seem hell bent to bring this nation into civil war again. They would do well to remember the results of the fore-bearers. I suspect a current national government so challenged would not have the magnanimity and grace displayed by Lincoln in his dealing with the traitors who waged war against the Constitution they swore to protect.

    As an aside from one in the Commonwealth, the folks at Va. Tech who gave this neo-confederate a doctorate must be quite proud. Maybe he could punt!

  6. Abraham Lincoln’s legacy? I learned all the myths through my public school education. I homeschooled my offspring and passed on those same myths.

    But now I understand we were lied to.


    –didn’t much care about the slavery issue. In his inaugural address he said invading the south on account of it would be unconstitutional. His main goal was preventing secession. [Dilorenzo, p 24-25]

    (The south seceded in large part because of the punitive federal tariff (a form of taxation) aimed at plundering the south. This turned the meaning and purpose of the commerce clause on its head. The purpose of the clause was avoid the “abuse by…importing states in taxing the nonimporting states [through individual state tariffs].” “Madison On the general Welfare of America” by Leonard R. Sorenson, pg87)

    –unconstitutionally: invaded the south (no declaration of war), suspended habeas corpus (only congress can do that), jailed lawfully elected government officials who committed no crimes. [Dilorenzo, p27]

    –threatened to arrest people for “silence” if they were caught not openly defending the war against the south.[p168]

    –deported a critic.[168]

    –imprisoned innocent judges and newspaper men.[ibid]

    –was, according to liberal writer and editor at Harper’s Magazine, The New Yorker, and The New Republic, “a wealthy railroad lawyer” [whose] “clients included giant corporations, millionaires, real estate speculators, and corporate executives,” [Dilorenzo, 179]

    He is not the commoner our teachers taught us he was.

    –loathed Thomas “all men are created equal” Jefferson (according to Lind). [180]

    –was commander in chief of a military that plundered civilians (women and children), burned down the homes of women and children, destroyed cities, raped women, and executed civilians without trial.[Dilorenzo, pg29]

    Total war is a humanitarian endeavor?

    According to Dilorenzo “The deification of Lincoln has always been part of a not-so-hidden agenda to expand the size and scope of the American state far beyond what the founding fathers—especially the Jeffersonians–envisioned.” [pg 182]

    Is it not expanded to the nth degree now?

    I loved the music on the video. Its melody is VERY similar to the Christian Hymn “Learning To Lean On Jesus”.

  7. JT:

    “when I had to go into a deep fishing pond to retrieve one of the fishing rods after one of the boys did a cast with a bit too much gusto.”


    I’m glad you caught the whole experience on video for us:

  8. Prof. Turley,
    that is a classic fishing story about the rod being “cast” into the pond! I can remember catching my brother’s cheek on a cast when we were young. He has never forgotten that slip up!

  9. Thank you, FFLEO, for this fine tribute to the Greatest American.

  10. Prof Turley,

    Too bad that you cannot make that trip more often for at least a week at a time for prolonged respites with your family and friends.

    That place reminds me of this great fiddle tune by Jay Ungar.

  11. No Shoes, No *Shirt*, No Service…

    The foul: A bare Bear.

  12. “Reach out your paw if your cup be empty
    If your cup is full may it be again…”

    The bear is behind the tree.

  13. “Bears are terrible tippers.”

    Not so, bears are very good at tipping garbage cans to get vittles.

  14. Hey ‘Fesser T,

    Don’t iPhone and drive ’cause most of us can wait for more postings herein from you until you safely return home.

    We don’t want to have tae build a Shrine on the Mont in your honor for at least 100 years or so…

    1. FFLEO:
      Rest assured no texting and driving occurred. We are back home now and had a ball — even when I had to go into a deep fishing pong to retrieve one of the fishing rods after one of the boys did a cast with a bit too much gusto.

  15. They won’t serve him because he’s a Black Bear. You’ll never see a Polar Bear sitting at an empty picnic table. I urge all bears of color, brown and black, to boycott picnic areas in southern states. This situation is simply…….unBEARable.

  16. This is why our Founding Fathers fought so hard for the Right to Arm Bears. And there may be other factors in play here. Maybe he’s not being served because he’s a black bear – double discrimination. This is simply outdooragegous.

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