So a cop and a horse walk into a bar . . .
This officer in Tampa decided the best way to end that joke was to leave with his equine friend.
In recognition of this officer’s unique patrol tactics, what is the best “horse goes into a bar” joke you have heard?
Here is a couple of nominees:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “So, why the long face?”
A horse walks into a bar, across the room, up the back wall, across the ceiling, down the front wall and then up to the bar. The bartender gives the horse a beer, he drinks it and leaves. A guy sitting at the bar looks perplexed and asks the bartender “Hey, what’s that all about?” The bartender replies, “Don’t take it personally, he never says ‘Hi’ to anyone.”
36 thoughts on “So a Cop and a Horse Walk Into a Tampa Bar . . .”
From the horse’s mouth:
The new name for this blog is “equus ipsus loquitor.”
This isn’t a horse joke, but it’s a favorite.
Two Canadian lumberjacks are drinking away their week’s pay at the lumber camp’s only saloon. Soon they’ve moved from beer to whiskey and bets start getting made.
Pierre says, “Jacques, I’ll bet you that you can’t drink a fifth of whiskey, kill a bear and make love to an Eskimo.”
Jacques takes him up on the bet, downing a fifth of rot gut and staggers off into the night. No one is worried. They figure they’ll find Jacques passed out around the camp later.
Morning comes. No Jacques.
A week. No Jacques.
Two weeks. They are getting ready to have a funeral, thinking Jacques has wandered off a cliff somewhere.
Three weeks, they are having a wake at the saloon and Jacques staggers in. He’s bitten and clawed and bruised all over. The crowd is silent in amazement.
And Jacques says, “Now where’s that Eskimo you wanted me to kill.”
As Stan got there first……
A duck walks into a bar and asks the barman “Got any Bread?”
The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serce bread”.
The duck says “Got any bread?”
“No, we don’t have any bread.”
“Got any bread?”
“No! We don’t have any bread!”
“Got any bread?”
“What part of “NO” do you not understand? We have not got any bread!”
“Got any bread?”
“Listen! If you ask me one more time if we’ve got any bread, I’m gonna nail you fuckin’ beak to the ceiling!!!”
“Got any nails?”
“Got any bread?”
Man rides a horse into a bar and stands at the bar next to a lawyer. The bartender brings a mug for the rider and a bucket for the horse. The lawyer, curious, cannot help but ask a question.
“Excuse me, but as an attorney, I’m wondering why you chose to ride a horse into a bar?”
The horse replied, “You’re a lawyer? Maybe you can help get this guy off my back.”
Horse gallops into a bar.
Sadly, he had to be put down.
… and stan kohls wins by a nose.
Cop walks into a bar riding a horse.
The bartender says, “What are you doing that for?”
The horse says, “It started off as a lump on my butt.”
Bravo Vince, I’m voting (frequently) for your dark horse entry in this contest.
Luckily violation of Criminal Code section 455 carries a mandatory sentence of ongoing and sustained community service at Res ipsa loquitur.
Cop rides horse into bar.
Patron videos the cop on his horse.
Cop arrests patron for illegal taping of a police officer.
Patron says to cop, I am going to sue you and the horse you rode in on.
Cop says, go ahead.
Horse says, I want a lawyer.
Horse calls Jon Turley and asks for representation.
Prof says that’s a horse on me.
Treacy is arrested by Sgt Joe Friday on a 455.
He says, a 455! What is that?
Friday says, Criminal Code section 455, Bad Joke Telling.
Felony Bad Joke Telling.
The names have not been changed to protect the innocent.
A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender is a bit surprised, but pours the beer and brings it over to the horse. The horse pays with a ten dollar bill.
Now the barman figures horses aren’t too bright, so he decides to ’short-change’ him. He goes back to the horse with 1 dollar in change.
The horse doesn’t say anything, but drinks his beer.
The horse finishes his beer and goes up to the bar to order another. The bartender says, “We don’t get many horses as customers around here.”
The horse says, “At nine dollars a beer, I’m not surprised!”
A horse, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says “What is this, a fucking joke?”
So is this a case of Equinity?
So a horse goes into a bar and the bartender stops him and says he has to be wearing a tie.
The horse goes back outside, finds a pair of jumper cables, drapes them around his neck and goes back inside.
The horse says, “Is this OK?” and the bartender says,
“Yeah, but you better not start anything.”
I suppose the Neigh-boar-hood is going down…
The bartender asks the horse, “Would you like a drink?”
The horse says, “Neigh.”
A jackass riding a horse… thought I’d seen everything.
A pony walks into a bar and says “Bartender, may I have a drink?”
Bartender says “What? I can’t hear you. speak up!”
“May I please have a drink?”
“What? You have to speak up!”
“Could I please have a drink?”
“Now listen, if you don’t speak up I will not serve you.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little ho(a)rse.”
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