Ernest J. Pagels is a politician who is not just satisfied with balancing the budget. He is campaigning on a promise to “outlaw” homosexuality as well as abortion and pornography. You may think he is running for Kandahar city council on the Taliban ticket, but he is one of the candidates vying for the GOP slot to challenge Russ Feingold in the Senate.
Here is Pagels’ pitch:
Hi my name is Ernest J. Pagels Jr., I’m a born again Christian, a U.S. veteran and a very conservative Republican. I’m running for U.S. Senate from the state of Wisconsin and if elected I will initiate a bill to outlaw homosexuality, abortion, and all forms of pornography. I think these are three ills that are plaguing our nation and bringing it down. And if elected, I will also initiate a bill for a Constitutional amendment which prohibits Congress and the President from spending more money than they bring in. My name is Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. and I hope you vote for me on September 14.
The campaign commercial is followed by a quotation from Matthew 28:17:
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Pagels will apparently teach all of us “to obey everything” commanded by the Bible. The problem it appears is runaway freedoms. Algernon observed the same thing in the The Importance of Being Ernest”: “Oh, it is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn’t. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn’t read.”Algernon, Act 1.
Elaine,
I love the idea but I have a thought about format.
Given the raw number of crazies popping up?
Maybe it should be along the lines of “Pet of the Week”. At the standard 52 weeks per year, we should be able to come up with at least one to be profiled per week. Maybe monthly instead to give us a bigger sample space of insanity to choose from.
I was Just talking about the US Senate. I know there are plenty of crazy democrats running for local offices.
Uh, oh. Looks like someone fell off the turnip truck, and the truck’s getting away …
Gyges & Swarthmoremom–
The Democrats just don’t get me to slapping myself upside the head and thinking WTF–like some of these Republican canadidates do! That Angle woman is certifiable. Imagine if SHE gets elected to the US Senate?????
I should point out she was a Candidate for parks commissioner. She lost to the incumbent, who does a fantastic job. I know this because I don’t know who the parks commissioner is, just that our parks are in great shape.
Swarthmore,
I’ve seen Democratic candidates this crazy, and the poll was for somebody running for elected office, not just senate.
We had a seriously nuts park commissioner here awhile back, she wanted to remove every ‘artificial structure’ in every park in the county.
I’m pretty sure she forgot about the several reservoirs with county parks around them.
There are plenty of sleazy democrats but they are not into this extreme right wing christian stuff.
You can’t find a democrat running for the US Senate that compares to this guy or any of these folks.
Elaine,
Why limit it? I say throw third parties and Democrats in the mix. That’ll be REALLY fun. We could even have a special foreign category (although for the sake of arbitrary rules I suggest we limit people to nominating candidates they could vote for).
I think we should have an opinion poll of Turley bloggers to determine who we think is the MOST batshit crazy of all the Republican candidates for elected office this year.
Seriously.
This guy has succeeded where many trolls have failed.
Buddha Is Truly Pissed Off.
Our country is being sold out and turned into a steaming pile of third world dog shit by people like Pagels and his backers. Hate mongers who love to wage war for no other reason than their personal profit and/or sadistic satisfaction in killing.
I’ve seen the enemy.
This Cheney/Breitbart/Rove hellspawn is their poster child.
Remember folks, there’s never been a nation that lasted that didn’t obey use God’s word as the basis for their laws…
Unless you count all those ones that did.
Elwood: “Illinois Nazis.”
Jake: “I hate Illinois Nazis.”
Good news, boys! They’ve apparently moved to Wisconsin.
Next up on Pagel’s Parade of Puritanical Poison:
Homosexuals Get A Camp Visit and a little pink triangle patch they must have affixed to their clothing at all times! Coming soon, Camp Jew and Camp Crippled! Roma, er, Mexicans need not apply!
Yeah.
There’s something destroying this country alright.
Fascist tools like Pagel unable to learn from history (or any other source).
This kind of bigoted myopic clown trying to ride on his military service is an absolute disgrace to the military but especially those who fought WWII to stop people just like Pagel. But then again, his apparent hero was only a Corporal before he became Fuhrer.
Now pardon me while I go vomit.
Blind Faithiness
I’m guessing he’s running on the Taliban ticket.
Why do we live in a world so full of self-righteous pricks, anyway?
Can’t we *outlaw* such things?
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To a certain point I agree.
We have met the terrorists and they are us.
I’m guessing he’s running on the Taliban ticket.
Why do we live in a world so full of self-righteous pricks, anyway?
Can’t we *outlaw* such things?
Elaine M.: sounds to me like he only has half a brain or at least is using only half. lobomized is probably apt
he’ll be one busy fellow trying to clean up the internets
outlaw homosexuality? man would I love to have a discussion with that guy
I have never had the pleasure(?) of meeting someone that would say such a thing
OOOOPPPPSS! Correction:
Has he been LOBOTOMIZED? It looks as if he was having trouble talking in his commercial. Did you notice the way he moved his mouth and his tongue? Too bad words came out.
Has he been lobomized? It looks as if he was having trouble talking in his commercial. Did you notice the way he moved his mouth and his tongue? Too bad words came out.
A moron. The people of WI aren’t brain dead. Feingold may lose to someone else but not this neanderthal.
I hope the people of Wisconsin wake up and realize that they have one of the best senators durrently serving. I am not one of those throw every incumbent out folks. Feingold currently has a one point lead over his republican opponents.