The latest Harry Potter movie is greeted by movie theaters as a record blockbuster and kids as the long-waited sequel. For one person, however, it is the start of the new season of demonic possessions. Father Thomas J. Euteneuer explained in an interview this week that Harry Potter has opened the gates of Hell for millions and triggered a spate of possessions that keep him busy.
If this account rights deathly hallow to you, think again. Father Euteneuer says “Harry Potter and these Twilight vampires glamorize the power of evil and this has lead to many, many cases of possession among young people.” He notes that his demonic opponents “cannot operate without permission from human beings.” and that “the darkest demon is smarter than I am.” I am inclined to agree.
By the way, the interview below reveals that demons have no sense of humor so don’t try to do a Henny Youngman as a way of casting out the demons with laughter. Instead, he explained that demons operate on the same principle as a kegger: when “one demon gets in it will help to create more invitations to other demons.” Pretty soon you are full of humorless demons looking for a good time.
You might want to take the kids this weekend to the new Nutcracker movie. Wait, that involves magical transformations. Megamind is out — evil again. There is always Tangled, but the rumor is that the movie tends to push children toward hair styling as a career.
One thing is certain. Since I will be taking the kids next weekend for their possession and popcorn, I would appreciate everyone spreading the word that any parents who take their children to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows risks demonic slavery — at least in theaters around McLean, Virginia.