Politics of Contraband: Jerks Smuggle Jerky to Finance 34 Mile Trip

Submitted by Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

Steve Martin’s character, Navin Johnson, has nothing on two West Virginia residents hell-bent to rescue a relative with car trouble. Hearing the plea for help, but without sufficient funds to finance the 34 mile trip from Somerset, PA to New Stanton, PA, cousins Michael Allen Graham, 37, and John Edward Barry, 35,  got  resourceful. Believing they could “live off the land,” so to speak, the Milton, WVa duo began an alleged shoplifting spree at gas stations and auto parts stores in the general direction of the disabled motorist.

Police say in an affidavit they saw “a large amount of boxed and packaged beef jerky,”  “Slim Jims,” and socket sets on the car’s rear seat. The two-man gang hoped to sell their take for gas and toll money. The reason for the stop was that police noticed that the pair’s front license plate was precariously hanging from the bumper.

You can’t make this stuff up!

Source: msnbc

~Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

47 thoughts on “Politics of Contraband: Jerks Smuggle Jerky to Finance 34 Mile Trip”

  1. Ah but it probably was a vacation trip on some sort…. We did it for a weekend… Time-Distance…proved to be a factor…. we started it so we had to do it…. guess some of that Friday afternoon libations clouded reason and Judgment…. it appeared to be a good ideal at the time….

  2. Yes Mame…….I still feel a road trip coming us….better than the trip from Austin to las cruces nm for the weekend….

  3. If you make the movie I want to play the stranded friend sitting on or in my vehicle, as I wait for deliverance, that will never come. It’ll be a minor role, but if I can show the emotions running from elation, to anxiety and then despair, maybe I can be nominated for a supporting actor Oscar, or even a Golden Globe if need be.

  4. SWM,

    I know….I have been there and conquered the menu….. I think I almost emptied the Jalapeno jar on the condiment counter…. The Vadilia Onions were a sweet as drinking water….but hell who could say what was what after the Texas Pickles…

    Maybe they could make a movie called “In Search of the Hottest Peppers”…. I could appear in a Cameo Shot eating the Ghost Pepper Sauce…. and encouraging other to delve into the passion….

  5. AY, The good beef jerky is made at Robertson’s in Salado. They have spicy hot mesquite grilled beef jerky.

  6. mespo,

    How about I sing….I got High Hope….and kinda turn it into an original Ocean 11…..

  7. AY:

    “Say what…. I see a new movie coming out based upon this…”

    **************

    I’m as transparent as ever. Another Hope and Crosby “Road Picture,” I am casting Buddha and myself for the two leads. How about “Road to New Stanton” for a title?

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