Travel Blog

Notice: Interruption of Service This Weekend For The End of Times

As many people are aware, the world will end on May 21, 2011 which is likely to cause an interruption in service on the Turley blog. Fortunately, your host will be going to his annual weekend at Shrine Mont with other families. I expect our weekend bloggers to remain at their posts through the rapture while I await the rapture on a mountain top in Virginia in a pure and sanctified state. I remind everyone that during the end of the world we will maintain the policy of civility and decorum on the blog. Profanity and uncontrolled screaming are strongly discouraged. There is also a chance that anonymity will be lost in the post-rapture judgment on any trolls.

Last weekend in New York, the troops were out with signs announcing the end of the world. It took a bit of explaining to the kids, but I reminded them that this meant no end of term exams (which mollified them).

The Family Radio Worldwide and its leader Harold Camping have done an amazing job in informing millions of our collective demise this weekend. For us at the Turley blog, it is not an end but an opportunity. While I cleanse my soul at Shrine Mont (while fishing), I know that our bloggers will remain online up to the rapture for hundreds of millions of people surfing the Internet at the last minute. To help them, I wanted to add references to the most likely search terms for Saturday to help them reach our site:

1. Proper clothing for the rapture.

2. WiFi access in heaven.

3. Justin Bieber’s rapture schedule.

4. Can Obama block final judgment for Bush officials involved in torture program?

5. cheap homes for sale by members of the Family Radio Worldwide ministry.

Good luck, everyone. I will not be with you when the rapture occurs but I assure you that this blog is right with God. At the time of the final judgment, Turley blog regulars will be given preferential treatment and should fear not. If you are still a bit nervous, I recommend playing Captain & Tennille’s Muskrat Love while watching Under Siege 2: Dark Territory . Then, no matter what happens, it won’t seem quite so bad to leave this world behind.


Source: MSNBC

Jonathan Turley

116 thoughts on “Notice: Interruption of Service This Weekend For The End of Times”

  1. Buddha,

    Risotto, with sun dried tomatoes, asparagus, and shiitake mushrooms. But now that you mentioned it, I do have some filet of sole in the freezer — would that count?

  3. I’m on the West Coast (time stamp of posts are East Coast) so I thought I’d grant a few minutes of hesitation as it must hard to pin down such insight to mere minutes.

    But seeing how the East is fine, and I’m now twenty minutes past the trigger point, I suppose I should get on with making dinner.

  5. Well, it is 6:30 local time. I was quite surprised, really, to find myself floating skyward, naked as the day I was born just a bit ago. I talked one of the archangels into letting me use his laptop so I could send a note to all you heathens left behind. (note, it is Linux based, Linux being the OS of the Gods I guess since he(?) – sorry I have not figured out all the gender things here yet, my vertigo is raging. peering over the edge of a cloud makes me very dizzy but it is supposed to pass. Anyway, he said to go ahead and made some joke about “Welcome to Heaven here is your Linux PC/Welcome to Hell here is your Windows PC”)

    So, where was I? Oh, anyway, its all pretty peachy here although I was told the wing implants are painful as He does not believe in anesthesia. Not really looking forward to that.

    It madness here at the moment what with all the new arrivals, I have not run into anyone I know which is a bit of a disappointment but no Republicans so thats all good. The house orchestra, Glenn Miller and Count Basie with Benny Goodman and Gene Krupa, played us in so that was fantastic. Going to hear Hendrix and Janis after new arrival orientation so it isn’t boring.

    I will write again soon if allowed. But from what I hear you guys may not have a lot of free time what with the tribulations and all.

  7. Mike Spindell wrote:

    “…but I’ve got all this damn weaponry, what’s a Jew to do but
    join the NRA…..uh…do they take us?”

    ______________

    Yeah, Mike, we’ll takes ya, as long as you pay your dues, swear to the 2nd Amendment allegiance over and above all of the 10 Commandments, and you must be a “straight shooter” in every sense of the phrase…

    However, we aint never a’havin’ no NRA Jew Day Festivities—just so you know, and I would keep that Jew business to yursef since they aint no reason to rile up some of the more “dedicated” NRAers a’livin’ in them deep dark Tennesseein’ hollars, now is they? HotDang! another well-armed Jew.

    (Full disclosure: I am a NRA member)

  8. okay now that that’s over, what kind of law suit can we file?

  10. Thank you all for your comforting words, but here the day has come and no rapture. JT, it’s easy for you to be cool about this because you’ve got multiple coverage.
    Gygews, I checked the World Jewish Conspiracy status ranking registry and discovered I’m listed as: 1,313,131
    so I don’t make the 144,000. Lottakatz, South Florida is Jerusalem West, so who knows what battles will be breaking out?

    Anyway, the day has come and it looks like I’m safe, but I’ve got all this damn weaponry, what’s a Jew to do but
    join the NRA…..uh…do they take us?

  12. Here are the last three stanzas of a poem by Dana Gioia titled “The End of the World”:
    http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175699

    The End of the World
    By Dana Gioia

    We came to a bend, where the river grew wide
    And green mountains rose on the opposite side.
    My guides moved back. I stood alone,
    As the current streaked over smooth flat stone.

    Shelf by stone shelf the river fell.
    The white water goosetailed with eddying swell.
    Faster and louder the current dropped
    Till it reached a cliff, and the trail stopped.

    I stood at the edge where the mist ascended,
    My journey done where the world ended.
    I looked downstream. There was nothing but sky,
    The sound of the water, and the water’s reply.

  16. CYA:

    “LIFE WILL GO ON

    What if the world doesn’t end? Will Camping and his followers admit they were wrong?

    Probably not, according to the author of “The Rapture Exposed.”

    People whose predictions fail to happen typically take credit for helping mankind avert disaster, said Barbara Rossing, a Lutheran School of Theology professor and minister who specializes in end-of-the-world beliefs.

    “It doesn’t seem to dissuade followers when it doesn’t happen,” Rossing said. “Rather, they’ll be all the more fervent in their beliefs. They’ll think their actions managed to stave it off.”

    http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/05/end_of_the_world_may_21_2011.html

  18. Anyone notice whether pope Benny has
    gone into hiding with Camping???

    I thought he’d be all wrapped up in this stuff…

  19. eniobob,

    You mean you can’t…..damn…guess, I should drink the elixir early…

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