The marriage vows may say “for better or for worse” and “in sickness and in health,” but Rev. Pat Robertson told his “700 Club” viewers that divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer’s is just fine. Robertson says that the vows say “until death do us part” and Alzheimer’s should be viewed as a type of death.
Robertson was asked on this television program for advice for a friend whose wife has started suffering from Alzheimer’s and has started to see another woman. Robertson responded “I know it sounds cruel, but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her.”
When he was reminded of that vows concerning “for better or for worse” and “until death do us part,” Robertson explained “If you respect that vow, you say ’til death do us part.’ This is a kind of death.”
I have always been fascinating by these programs with Muslim or Jewish or Christian figures dispensing advise to the faithful. No one ever asks, “are you just making this stuff up as you go along?” This seems a pretty massive change in the plain meaning of those vows. I hate to lawyer the language, but what is the basis for this new interpretation that the term “death” extends beyond the obvious meaning of the end of life and can include constructive death. It brings a new meaning to the phrase “you are dead to me.”
Source: Yahoo
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Erykah, Yes I believe he would have put himself in the place of a sick husband being abandoned and I also see him putting himself in the place of the husband having to be burdened with a sick wife. I would be very uncomfortable if I was his wife. EEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK I just gave myself the shivers with that statement. Was the woman who read him the question his wife or a cohost? Does anyone know? She seemed a little uncomfortable with his statements tho she recovered and sat submissive accepting as a good lil woman should. .ICK
Carol
I liked your post.
Pat put himself on TV speaking on God’s behalf. A bold move indeed, and not one recommended by the New Testament.
Alzheimer’s is a serious question and the issues raised about life, love, marriage are probably areas where fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
You mentioned Terri Shiavo, and that situation was also one in which many fearlessly expressed an opinion on a situation that I think was beyond their ability to disentangle. Or interest to learn about.
erykah: “This is a complicated issue for sure”
Only if you’re bereft of conscience.
Jo Atkins,
You bring up a valid point. I bet Pat’s answer would have been far different if the person writing in stated that it was the husband who was incapacitated.
And to think back in the 80’s I was a staunch Republican and wanted him to run for president.
Ann: “My late husband had dementia. It’s exactly as Robertson’s says “walking death”. When you’ve been in marriage with someone who is “gone” in every sense but the physical one then perhaps you’ll understand it better. ”
Not for nothing Ann, but I spent nearly five years (2005-2010) looking after my father suffering from dementia to keep my promise that I wouldn’t let him wind up alone staring at a wall in a nursing home. Keeping him home comforted him and brought him back from those bouts with panic and assuaged his anxieties; even at the very end.
If Pat Robertson hadn’t already revealed to the world that he’s the furthest thing from Christ with his hit squad remarks a few years ago, that soul-less prick sealed the deal with this recent comment.
spincitysd:
I was going to post something analytical, but after reading your post, I think you have the issue pretty much covered.
From the 21st century bible as translated by Pat Robertson:
The 2nd Book of the 700 club, verse 38- 40:
38 Thou shalt not divorceth thine wife unless thou haveth a PET scan or CAT scan showing that she hath brain death or A horrible disease that has caused her to have lost the ability to be a proper wife or will probably will loseth that ability in the future. For she is dead in kind of a way.
39 And tho, know this If a woman whose husband has had a PET or CAT scan and he has brain death or a horrible disease that has caused him to have lost the ability to be a proper husband or will probably will loseth that ability in the future, She shall not divorceth him because she shall always be subordinate to him.
40 And contributions should be sent to Pat Robertson or The 700 Club. No personal checks tho knowest that a cashiers check is always pleasing in Our eyes. Visa and Mastercard Accepted. Amen
Ann, I am so sorry for the painful experience you went through. I’ve been married for almost 25 years and love my husband with all of my heart. I cannot imagine going through such an experience.
Having said that, I do not find Pat’s comments compassionate or humane. I think it promotes a dangerous tendency by fundamentalist Christians to define life or death as they see fit. Case in point, Pat states the wife is technically dead. But since when do you divorce a dead person. The very remedy that he provides to the writer suggest that in the eyes of the law, regardless of the stage of Alzheimers, the person is still very much alive.
Divorcing someone releases the parties from any personal obligation they feel towards each other. I agree with the sentiments expressed by the man who told his daughter it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know who I am. Indeed. I stood at that altar almost 25 years ago and swore before God Almighty and all of my family and friends that I would be with this man for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health until death we do part. To so call move on with my life, when my spouse is at his most vulnerable, in my opinion, is the height of selfishness. We do the same thing to our aging parents and grandparents. And we call ourselves a Christian nation.
This is a complicated issue for sure and I do not pretend to have the answers. If life begins at the moment of conception, as the CF folks assert, than death begins the moment the person takes his or her last breath, not a moment before. If that is the case then perhaps the CF need to revise its wedding vows to state until death do we part, except in the case of late stage Alzheimers,cancer,brain trauma, etc. etc. etc.
Brother Jeremy,
The Episcopal Book of Common Prayer is my favorite meditation tool. The silver thread runs through the book.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Blouise,
“So much for sweeping generalities regarding progressives.”
There are times when that’s all some people have when it comes arguing for “their” side of an issue.
Elaine,
So much for sweeping generalities regarding progressives. 🙂
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2011/08/25/Marriage-divorce-rates-higher-in-South/UPI-88591314302313/ Southerners marry younger and they marry more times.
“LB
1, September 15, 2011 at 1:05 pm
just read this response on another site,
A man went to see his Alzheimer-afflicted wife every day in the care facility for years. She did not know him at all. Finally, his daughter said, “Dad, Mom doesn’t know you at all. Why do you still visit her?” “Because I still know who SHE is,” he replied, “and as long as I still know who SHE is, I will continue to visit her.”
Can’t get much deeper than that.
Blouise,
I’m a progressive from a Blue State who has been married for forty-two years. I should add that I dated my husband for more than seven years before we got married.
blech blech blech blech blech.
nuff said……
Every couple whom I have ever married has been required to say the following:
Standard Episcopal Church Vows
Groom
In the name of God, I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or worse, for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.
Bride
In the name of God, I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or worse, for richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.
Pat Robertson is not a valid spokesman for Christiany.
Br. Jeremy, CSJW
I found Robertson oddly compassionate and human for a change. Not at all in keeping with his brand of Christianity.
My late husband had dementia. It’s exactly as Robertson’s says “walking death”. When you’ve been in marriage with someone who is “gone” in every sense but the physical one then perhaps you’ll understand it better. Until then maybe you shouldn’t use it to promote political agendas.
Elaine,
Gosh, I’m a progressive and I’ve been married for 45 years. How about you?
Mike,
You know all those “progressives” like Newt Gingrich who thinks it’s okay to divorce their wives just because they’ve got new women in their lives.
*****
“Mike, I recognize that that is true, but that doesn’t mean that we still don’t give and get lots of advice from so called progressives that it’s okay to divorce for almost no reason. It’s almost a known film genre. It’s what various advice columnists from Salon and elsewhere give out. It’s a feminist meme.”
anon,
Really? Progressives think it’s okay to divorce someone for no reason? Can you provide links to the Salon articles written by the advice columnists of which you speak?
just read this response on another site,
A man went to see his Alzheimer-afflicted wife every day in the care facility for years. She did not know him at all. Finally, his daughter said, “Dad, Mom doesn’t know you at all. Why do you still visit her?” “Because I still know who SHE is,” he replied, “and as long as I still know who SHE is, I will continue to visit her.”