Bizarre, International, Religion

Do Not Handle The Fruit: European Cleric Warns Muslim Women Not To Handle Cucumbers, Bananas, and Other Sexually Suggestive Produce

It appears that cucumber farmers are equivalent to pornographers in some religious circles. We previously saw how a grocer in Iraq was killed for putting fruits and vegetable together that might be sexually suggestive. Now, an Islamic cleric in Europe has issued his own warning to Muslim women not to get close to cucumbers, bananas or other sexually suggestive fruit.

The published warning from the Islamic site el-Senousa includes instructions for men to cut up cucumbers and bananas before women can come into contact with them to protect them from temptation and immorality. Perhaps stores should store the fruits and vegetables in brown paper bags behind the counter with the Penthouse and Hustler copies.

Carrots and zucchini also were added to the list of demonic fruits and vegetables.

It appears that it is the Atkins diet or damnation.

Source: Al Arabiya as first seen on Reddit.

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40 thoughts on “Do Not Handle The Fruit: European Cleric Warns Muslim Women Not To Handle Cucumbers, Bananas, and Other Sexually Suggestive Produce”

  2. @OS,

    If Kash is correct, what we see here in this thread is you and Mike panting over how evil men are when you read of a hoax.

    But when I point out an actual visualizable, measurable, instance of women doing the same damn thing, what we get from you and Mike is … silence.

    As the feminists say, women like to get drunk and fuck just the same as men.

    What the feminists don’t say, and Mike throws in with them here, is that much of modern feminism is all about judgmental bullshit and controlling men’s natural, and good sexual tendencies by how again?

    Oh yeah, accusing all men of sexual immorality, and controlling male sexual expressions.

    “The first people to accuse others of sexual immorality are those with the dirtiest thoughts, trying to control their own mind’s temptations of the flesh, by projecting off on others. Almost all of the time it is a male thing of being unable to control their own lascivious designs on women and the urges these sick men feel.”

    What is telling shed’s light on Mike and your creepy pc brains is how sexist and so bullshit the statement is.

    Ungender it, maybe there is something we can agree on.

    Again, from Kash, the story is bullshit, but that won’t stop you and Mike in picking up your pitchforks against evil men.

  4. Otteray Scribe 1, December 9, 2011 at 10:56 am

    Dredd, now we know where those seventy virgins come from. They don’t need or want males. Won’t that be a kick in the pants to those who martyr themselves in anticipation of the seventy virgins. They now have the prowess of a hundred men and not a single virgin is the slightest bit interested. Welcome to Hell.
    =======================
    What a great description of the (book) “1984” religion: Heaven = Hell

  5. I now realize why these Mullahs wear those robes. It’s produce envy. Allah forbid that anyone realize their muslim genitals resemble cucumbers…only LOTS smaller.

  6. Sorry for the above, I meant ‘anon’, not Bron. I did not mean to slight Bron.

  8. Bron, what is there about projection that you do not understand? WTF?

    Mike is absolutely correct, and that is an observation based on research published in the professional literature to which both Mike and I subscribe.

  9. I think the cleric has too much time on his hands for thinking about sex. For the salvation of his own soul, I recommend he never puts two peas and a string bean in his hand. It might lead him to evil thoughts.

  10. @Mike,

    I love your sweeping generalizations, they shed light on a certain brand of politically correct dumbassed fetishistic truthiness.

    “Almost all of the time it is a male thing of being unable to control their own lascivious designs on women and the urges these sick men feel. ”

  11. @Catullus, laugh at the dangers of fruit and vegetables all you want, but they are extremely dangerous.

  13. Several years ago, there was a call on my police scanner about an Arab man masturbating in the women’s underwear section of Kmart. Islam. and their interpretation of it, has really messed up their minds.

  14. Dredd, now we know where those seventy virgins come from. They don’t need or want males. Won’t that be a kick in the pants to those who martyr themselves in anticipation of the seventy virgins. They now have the prowess of a hundred men and not a single virgin is the slightest bit interested. Welcome to Hell.

  15. Mike Spindell 1, December 9, 2011 at 10:20 am
    … sexuality is a basic genetic/emotional drive, these types are the ones who are ultimately evil.
    =========================
    I think I know who their ancestor may be: leiolepis ngovantrii,

  17. The first people to accuse others of sexual immorality are those with the dirtiest thoughts, trying to control their own mind’s temptations of the flesh, by projecting off on others. Almost all of the time it is a male thing of being unable to control their own lascivious designs on women and the urges these sick men feel. I’m quite tolerant and understanding of most forms of sexuality, except for those with power who are overwhelmed with their own sexual sickness. That many of these types turn to religion is no accident. It is on the same level as an addict self-medicating, or a supposed Christian flagellating. Give that sexuality is a basic genetic/emotional drive, these types are the ones who are ultimately evil.

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