“Ball Cutter” Fish Found In Illinois Lake

Ok, things are already bad in Illinois with a rise in the murder rates and thugs allegedly jumping out of stretch limos to assault people. Now, a swim in the state could result in your losing more than the afternoon heat. Officials at the Illinois Department of Natural Resources confirm that they have caught pacu fish in Lake Lou Yaeger in Litchfield, Illinois. The pacu has an unsettling reputation in in Papua New Guinea for eating testicles — giving it the local name as the “ball cutter.”

The Pacu have human-like teeth and appear to love to swim with humans. With a straight face, officials insists that the fish are more known for eating vegetables and nuts. There could be something lost in translations for the later category is uncomfortably broad for the pacu diet.

Before Litchfield becomes known as the Land of the Castrato, they may want to take firm measures to rid the lake of pacu. The idea of testicle-eating fish makes the whole post-Jaws phobias seem trivial in comparison. In the meantime, most men are likely to be doing the backstroke in Lake Yaeger.

Source: KSDK

14 thoughts on ““Ball Cutter” Fish Found In Illinois Lake”

  1. Dredd,
    be careful with my first place White Sox!
    Are these fish related the dog in Stand By Me that was ordered to “sic balls”?

  2. This is the fresh water version of Moby Dick.

    Read all about it in the book “Lake Ball-be-gone Days.”

  3. Ah, the lovely and lovable Pacu. Pacu are a food fish in their native South America: they got into American waters mainly through hobbyist’s releasing specimens that got too big. The Pacu in the picture doesn’t look like the Pacu I’m familiar with so I looked them up and Pacu is apparently a name that covers a number of subspecies. The Pacu I’m familiar with had pointed teeth, like the Piranha they are related to. The ones I’m familiar with had a small mouth but it looked like a shark’s mouth inside and could do some real damage. They weren’t vicious, just opportunists.

    My regular (hobbyist) fish supplier had a couple of Pacu that were huge and quite interactive with him. He fed them with a baby bottle and kept hard plastic baby toys in the tank for them to play with, which they did. One, Charlie, would come up to the top front of their tank to be petted like a dog would.

    That was not usual though because they would bite at anyone else and were big enough to take off a couple of fingers at a time. Cleaning and maintaining the tank was his job exclusively. Charlie, the biggest (18-20 inches), oldest one was at least 10yo when I met him and a few years later when he died my fish-guy was inconsolable for weeks. No, he didn’t eat him, he buried him. RIP.

  4. For men who are not ridiculously macho and who have a tragic family history of testosterone-driven, lethal prostate cancer at an rather young age, a swim in that lake might turn into a sadly real life-saver?

  5. Just like some other animals — and humans — the Pacu go after the low hanging fruit….

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