Simon Parkes appears to be pressing the flesh with all the wrong people. The city council member and married father of three from Whitby Town Council has gone public with an account of a long affair with aliens, particularly an alien named the “Cat Queen” with whom he has had a child. He also claims that his “real mother” is a 9-foot green alien with eight fingers. The Labor politician has also reported the less surprising news that his wife is rather put out by the whole thing. He did raise a novel extraterrestrial defense to extramarital affairs. Parkes, 58, insists that he has had interactions with aliens since his childhood and described how he had liaisons with the Cat Queen four times a year: “What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the Earth.” Now here is what prompted me to post this particularly story: Parkes’ defense against adultery. Parkes stated that his wife found out about the Cat Lady “and was very unhappy, clearly.” However, he noted that while “that caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don’t see it as wrong.” So, the marital vows really extended to terrestrial woman and not alien honeys like the Cat Lady. Brilliant. When you think about it, this cannot be adultery which is defined as the “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.” Since the Cat Queen is not a person, by definition this is not just another adulterer politician. This defense does not appear to have entirely appeased his wife who learned that he had a child called Zarka with the Cat Queen. By the way, when Parkes is not representing people, he is a driving instructor. That must make for interesting conversation when nervous driver applicants innocently ask, “well, did you do anything interesting this weekend Mr. Parkes?” Source: Metro
32 thoughts on “The Extraterrestrial Extramarital Defense: English Politician Announces Affair With Green Alien “Cat Queen” . . . Wife Reportedly “Not Happy””
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raff,
There’s a great essay by the SF legend Larry Niven called “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex” that puts a very funny and scientifically interesting take on why Supes would probably never hook up with Lois and the inherent problems if he had. It’s not very long, but if you stumble across it sometime, it’s a good read that will make you laugh. However, oddly enough, in his books set in the Known Space universe, Niven portrays inter-species sex fairly regularly although it is done almost strictly as a form of social bonding rather than sexual reproduction. He even coined a term for it: rishathra.
Sex with an alien? Reminds me of “Independence Day”.
Ask him if he has been to Amsterdam. There is a cathouse there on Damrak, or off Damrak, with a well known looker named Cat Lady. My blind guy for whom I am guide dog visited there earlier this year and I was along to provide guidance. “No dog paws allowed on this Cat” she said. But I watched.
At first he was in typical politician denial…
“I did not have sex with that woman, I mean..alien.”
Then he was forced to come clean when threatened with prosecution under the Aliens Act of 1905, whereupon he made this full and public confession.
Parliament could summon an inquiry to Probe these violations, but the alien had done this to him already.
What would ID have to say….
All that scratching and heavy breathing you hear is Senator David Vitter furiously taking notes.
Being delusion is a requirement for being on the council for Whitby…..
Nationally Enquiring minds want to know if being delusional grounds for having your license revoked in England.
Some people actually VOTED for this clown? He is almost as bad as Guv for Life Perry in Texas. At least his only indiscretions would be with animals since he barely got his degree in animal husbandry from Texas A&M, not aliens. Though illegal ones might be included in that too.
This post makes me miss ID, I would LOVE to have read his take on this.
“This defense does not appear to have entirely appeased his wife who learned that he had a child called Zarka with the Cat Queen.
By the way, when Parkes is not representing people, he is a driving instructor.”
More evidence for the germ theory of government.
There is an argument to be had that the term “person” need not apply exclusively to human beings. Such a claim would obviously be crucial to the not-yet-emerging field of extra-terrestrial law.
He would fit right in with many of our congresscritters.
Just way too tabloid-ish. Who cares, what does it matter, move on.
Wait, OHhhhhh I see thats where the “crazy cat lady” came from, All this time i thought it stood for a lady that loves cats
Another out of this world story. An hallucinating driving instructor. Good combination.
“Now that’s what I call a close encounter.”
The most worrying aspect of this story is “insists that he has had interactions with aliens since his childhood and described how he had liaisons with the Cat Queen four times a year”.
Is he saying that sexual activity took place while he was underage?
………. and no pussy jokes please.
Just because I can’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen….
>> …and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the Earth.”
Possible forms of that technology: Pill form, smoke form, or perhaps a liquid form of injectable technology.