The Extraterrestrial Extramarital Defense: English Politician Announces Affair With Green Alien “Cat Queen” . . . Wife Reportedly “Not Happy”

220px-My_stepmother_is_an_alien_h353_w628_m6_otrue_lfalseSimon Parkes appears to be pressing the flesh with all the wrong people. The city council member and married father of three from Whitby Town Council has gone public with an account of a long affair with aliens, particularly an alien named the “Cat Queen” with whom he has had a child. He also claims that his “real mother” is a 9-foot green alien with eight fingers. The Labor politician has also reported the less surprising news that his wife is rather put out by the whole thing. He did raise a novel extraterrestrial defense to extramarital affairs. Parkes, 58, insists that he has had interactions with aliens since his childhood and described how he had liaisons with the Cat Queen four times a year: “What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the Earth.” Now here is what prompted me to post this particularly story: Parkes’ defense against adultery. Parkes stated that his wife found out about the Cat Lady “and was very unhappy, clearly.” However, he noted that while “that caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don’t see it as wrong.” So, the marital vows really extended to terrestrial woman and not alien honeys like the Cat Lady. Brilliant.  When you think about it, this cannot be adultery which is defined as the “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.” Since the Cat Queen is not a person, by definition this is not just another adulterer politician. This defense does not appear to have entirely appeased his wife who learned that he had a child called Zarka with the Cat Queen. By the way, when Parkes is not representing people, he is a driving instructor. That must make for interesting conversation when nervous driver applicants innocently ask, “well, did you do anything interesting this weekend Mr. Parkes?” Source: Metro

32 thoughts on “The Extraterrestrial Extramarital Defense: English Politician Announces Affair With Green Alien “Cat Queen” . . . Wife Reportedly “Not Happy””

  1. Good story as of Harry Potter. since he have long sexual relation with cat lady ut shows that he knows the language of communication. can he put the alphabets or symbols of crop circles or can he tell from which planet she came & detail about it ? just merely for getting publicity? i think so.

  2. oh so it’s green Cats?? I’m getting these confused.

    Green Rats Created in Lab

    And the best line out of the article…

    “None of the fluorescent green rat pups born…displayed any abnormalities, genetic or otherwise”

  3. Hey, we read the blog every day and night. We don’t believe in aliens because we are from France. Some people on Earth are aware of Remulak. But folks from Remulak are just like us except they have cone heads. But we are really from France.

  4. WHAT! green alien cat queen and i were suppose to be exclusive. and to think of all the green alien cat strange i’ve passed up.

  5. I went to a seminar given by a man who claims to have interacted with aliens since he was very young. He considered them playmates. They took him to their ship. Other earthlings were there as well. One person in particular, he couldn’t tell if she was earthling like himself, or an alien. They still appear to him, usually a very tall attractive woman with long blond hair. I have his book but haven’t gotten through it yet. If what he says isn’t true, he’s a charlatan, not a crazy.

    So when your kids interacted with an imaginary friend, maybe it was just an alien who could only be seen by your child.

  6. Jeso itchinBayDog, this is a sophisticated law blog. Not a rant blog.

  7. Corporal punishment should not be limited to corporals. All rapists, once convicted, need to be castrated. Leave the weeny, they need to aim to pee.

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