By Darren Smith, Weekend Contributor
The mother of a third grade girl attending Mill Plain Elementary School in Vancouver, Washington is demanding changes in a school room program where students are required to pay to use the bathroom. The program was to be a lesson in money management where students received and worked for Monopoly Money to buy items in the classroom but the teacher required a payment of M$50.00 in order to use the bathroom.
Jasmine Al-Ayadhi told reporters her nine year old daughter, Reem, did not want to pay to use the bathroom and ultimately had an accident, causing her both discomfort and having to endure teasing by other children. In agreeing with the need to teach children the value of money Jasmine said, “Work for your money, to earn it, to buy like a little toy or a little squirt gun or a little ball. When it comes to a bathroom issue, when a child has to pay money to use the bathroom – that’s wrong. It’s inhumane. That’s a health issue.”
Reem said the students in her class earn money by doing things, such as good deeds, being nice, and finishing school work. She said she uses the money to buy treats like popcorn and pizza.
She also said each student in her class has to pay their teacher M$50 dollars in pretend money to go to the bathroom.
On Thursday, Reem was down to her last M$50. She also had to go to the bathroom. She wanted to buy popcorn, like her friends were doing. She said she wasn’t allowed to go to the bathroom because she didn’t want to pay. She then had an embarrassing accident.
“When it comes to using the bathroom, having to hold her pee, and if she wants to use the bathroom, you make a choice,” Jasmine said. “OK, if you want to use the bathroom it’s going to cost you M$50, but then you don’t have money to buy popcorn. What do you think a child’s going to do?”
The school gave Reem a change of clothes, a pair of royal blue boy’s basketball shorts. Reem said the other kids made fun of her for having an accident, and then for having to wear boys clothes.
“It didn’t feel so well because I had to wear boy pants and I did get teased,” Reem said.
Jasmine said she talked to the principal on Thursday, who promised to follow up about the issue on Friday. As of Friday night, Jasmine said she hadn’t heard back.
“This is a school,” Jasmine said. “This isn’t a jail. This isn’t a prison. We send our kids to school to learn and to get a good education.”
The school’s spokeswoman released a statement.
“We were made aware of the situation Friday evening. We will investigate as soon as possible Monday morning. We work hard to ensure the health and safety of every child and will make sure we do not have any classroom rule that prevents that.”
A similar incident occurred in Lebanon, Oregon and was reported by news station KATU of Portland, Oregon and the school principal dropped the payment requirement after the story aired.
A pediatrician was consulted and provided an opinion of this based upon his experience. Dr. Bruce Birk is a Portland pediatrician. He says that there’s consensus in the medical community on this issue.
“It would be chaos in a classroom for teachers not to have a system,” says Birk. “Holding in the classroom in between well-established potty breaks has not been shown in any sense of the word to be harmful to kids.”
Yet the message this might be teaching children is something that some parents are going to have much objection to. But not only the parents have concerns, the incident at Mill Plain Elementary could have been interpreted as close to violating state law, at least in the sprit of the law as noted by the state legislature.
In 1977, when bathrooms requiring payment were more common, the legislature enacted a law in the state’s Public Health and Safety code to address the issue of those needing to use restrooms and facility owners demanding payment for their use. The law reads:
RCW 70.54.160
Public restrooms — Pay facilities — Penalty.(1) Every establishment which maintains restrooms for use by the public shall not discriminate in charges required between facilities used by men and facilities used by women.
(2) When coin lock controls are used, the controls shall be so allocated as to allow for a proportionate equality of free toilet units available to women as compared with those units available to men, and at least one-half of the units in any restroom shall be free of charge. As used in this section, toilet units are defined as constituting commodes and urinals.
(3) In situations involving coin locks placed on restroom entry doors, admission keys shall be readily provided without charge when requested, and notice as to the availability of the keys shall be posted on the restroom entry door.
(4) Any owner, agent, manager, or other person charged with the responsibility of the operation of an establishment who operates such establishment in violation of this section is guilty of a misdemeanor.
While many could see this as making a mountain out of a mole hill, one has to ask what kind of lesson a policy requiring payment by nine year old students to use a bathroom teaches children.
By Darren Smith
Sources:
KATU
Revised Code of Washington
The views expressed in this posting are the author’s alone and not those of the blog, the host, or other weekend bloggers. As an open forum, weekend bloggers post independently without pre-approval or review. Content and any displays or art are solely their decision and responsibility.
Thank you Elaine! I knew my instincts were right. I’m off to see my new grandson, may he grow up to be brave and kind.
Elaine M.
It could come in handy next time someone has to pee…
TEACHING CHILDREN EMPATHY
By M. Sue Bergin (BA ’78)
As coaches and models, parents can help children learn about others’ feelings
http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=1960.
Nick,
You “kindness” makes you feel good, but it is a disservice to children.
= = =
We’re discussing “ALLOWING” children to use the bathroom.
… You have issues with THAT?
The disservice was placing the child into a position of wetting herself or getting a reward like everyone else… She wanted that reward, so she wet herself. What lesson are you really teaching the child at this point? That sometimes when wanting to be like everyone else, one has to embarrass themselves in front of everyone? This isn’t a lesson on independance or individuality or self expression… she had to pee! Everyone does that! The Queen of England, the Pope and Obama… ALL pee. There is no life lesson to learn other than, we all do it!
When are we, as adults, placed into that situation by others above us, with more power than us? To have to wet ourselves over a choice? This is not “real life” training or lesson building. This is poor choices by adults thrust upon the children.
Reblogged this on terryclarkeblog and commented:
Jonathan Turley, a GWU law professor (who taught there when I attended, though I wasn’t fortunate enough to take a course from him) has an excellent and very active bog. If you don’t follow him or have not read any of his previous posts, I would encourage you to do so. This particular post addresses a situation so ridiculous I had to reblog it.
Max-1,
Thanks! Maybe that video should be mandated viewing for children in kindergarten…so they can get an early start in this consumer driven society.
😉
Third graders are still quite young, teaching adult realities to them can be done gently and with sensitivity. Tough love teaching is better used in older children. And even then, there are those who don’t have the skills to do it without being abusive.
Annie – so when your children were small you gave them everything they asked for? Not giving in to them is a form of tough love.
Max-1: Thank you for your most appropriate response to Nick’s comment(s) which I hadn’t seen before I sent off my own. There is indeed a bully somewhere in Nick’s relentless attacks on those who differ with him and he’s come to an all-time low on here when he picks on a third grader.
Elaine M.
Why should children be awarded fake money for behaving appropriately and for doing what they are supposed to do in school?
= = =
As others have explained, we’re a consumer driven society. What better way to sock it to the little ones but by making them pay to breathe? You know that teacher would have, if she could.
Nick Spinelli
You cannot teach empathy, but you can teach respect.
= = =
Correct and lost on you.
Nick, can you show the little girl some respect for embarrassing herself in front of her classroom? Who’s the adult here?
Why should children be awarded fake money for behaving appropriately and for doing what they are supposed to do in school?
Elaine – we reward people for doing their job by giving them money (a token to be traded for something you want or need). You did your job, you got paid. It is the same in a token economy. Token economies are very effective for certain age children and for ADHD children and teens. It assures, to some extent, positive behavior. 3rd graders have very few needs you can control, however, going to the bathroom is one of them.
25 kids knew her daughter peed her pants. Now millions do. We’re discussing it here across the nation and internationally I think mommy has issues and wants the spotlight. I’m sure no one here ever even considered that.
@feynman
You don’t think that this child was humiliated even more by having her pants wetting incidence, with her name disclosed, go viral on the internet? The mother didn’t even take the time to get all the facts. She could have at least left her and her daughter’s name out of it so that when her junior high classmates google her this won’t come up.
No competition, no running and jumping on the playground, everyone gets a ribbon, no F’s, all part of diminishing valuable lessons in favor of false self esteem. What the education industry has created a narcissistic generation, all thinking they are “special” and feeling entitled. Then the real world smacks them right upside the head. You can create a false culture in school, but the real world is tough, and only the truly smart and tough make it. You “kindness” makes you feel good, but it is a disservice to children.
Why does a school want to keep this child’s accident ‘private’? I’d suggest it is because they do not want to be embarrassed by a obvious failure of policy. So the lesson is that it is ok to embarrass a child but not the school administrators.
Wrongo.
what? pay for use bathroom ? ohh crazy
Everyone on here old enough to remember pay toilets raise their hand and keep it up so we can get a count.
Simms
I’d want the ‘Bathroom Dollars’ off the table immediately. It is a horrible policy. Why is there a need to address it privately? Apparently other schools have the same type of policy. By keeping it ‘private’ the policy is likely to continue throughout a district. No. It should be exposed before one more child is humiliated.
A district wide bathroom policy that is not illegal does not get decided by one person on this thread. God did not die and leave an opening.
“one has to ask what kind of lesson a policy requiring payment by nine year old students to use a bathroom teaches children.””
What a waste of a good learning experience and many teachable moments.
We could be using this system to teach 9 yo real life lessons. We could make them pay to sit close to the heater or toward the front of the class.
We could make them pay for help with concepts they don’t understand, or just to talk to the teacher. Of course they shouldn’t pay anything directly to the teacher – that would be wrong. They should pay into a ‘Teacher appreciation Fund’ managed by the largest contributors to the fund from the class.
Now that would be real world experience the 9 yo could use for the rest of their lives, or until they are incarcerated. which ever comes first.
bfm – although I like the idea of the kid paying for extras, like tutoring, actually that would probably happen in the fourth grade. They like to keep things basic in the beginning. I think the lesson here was the difference between wants and needs. She wants the popcorn, she needs the bathroom. She choose the want over the need.
So am I the only one who has a problem with the mother not bothering to make an attempt to solve this privately? She went public after one day. She has the patience of a two year old.
Annie,
We had a wonderful staff at my school. I had the great fortune to work with some outstanding teachers. I learned much from them. A cruel or lazy teacher didn’t last long at my school. We also had very active and supportive parents who helped raise lots of money for creative programs, author and illustrator visits, books for the library, etc.