Allah Wants Slow Connectivity? Iranian Grand Ayatollah Denounces Fast Internet As Immoral and A Threat To Good Muslims

In the Islamic Republic of Iran, there is no issues that cannot be resolved by the Koran, or at least Muslim clerics, as a moral imperative. Thus, after complaints that Iran has one of the highest rates of Internet use and one of the slowest average speeds, Grand Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi, a prominent Shia scholar, stepped in to denounce fast Internet connections as immoral and dangerous. He also specifically denounced 3G — third generation mobile communications technology — as morally corrupt and unacceptable for good Muslims.

Iranian have an average Internet speed that is about a tenth of the global average but has one of the highest total number of Internet users in the Middle East. The Iranian government has a long struggle with social media and Internet sites to prevent access to uncensored news and Western influences. Shirazi reflected that view in saying that faster Internet means more access to “immoral and inhumane” videos and photos, rumors, and espionage. In other words, the outside world. It is hard to enforce Medieval rules for women and minorities when the rest of the world is flagrantly engaging in 21st Century living.

Of course, his preference for slow connectivity may reflect his rather slow learning curve. Makarem (whose ancestors were Jewish and converted to Islam) previously said that the Holocaust was “nothing but superstition.” Perhaps with faster Internet, he might be able to review some of those post-1943 sites and sources.

He also has issued a fatwa against dogs. Iranians would like to own dogs and asked Shirazi why Muslims are told that dogs are unclean when there is no mention of dogs in the Quran (Koran). In 2010, he responded by issuing a fatwa against dogs and said that they are unclean under Sharia law and their unclean status is based upon riwayahs, reliable narrations (hadith) handed down from the Prophet Muhammad and his household. He further denounced pet ownership as “blindly imitating the West” that would produce evil outcomes. In response the Iranian ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance banned all advertisement related to keeping, buying, and selling pets.

It is not clear what the Ayatollah would say to your using high-speed Internet to keep a virtual dog, but I expect it would not be good.

Source: JPost

50 thoughts on “Allah Wants Slow Connectivity? Iranian Grand Ayatollah Denounces Fast Internet As Immoral and A Threat To Good Muslims”

  1. Twitter is a public forum. I had someone tell a lie about me on Twitter, saying I was on Workman’s Comp and that I was cheating on it! Wow. I’ve never been on Workman’s comp, ever. Why would someone go out of their way to tell such
    Is about another person? it seems so low, hateful, vile and WIERD.

  2. @NickS

    True. And it is hard sometimes not to lash back when you know someone is trying to irritate you. But, I wrote an Irish Poem to help myself retain composure:

    For Whom The Belles Troll???
    An Irish Poem by Squeeky Fromm

    Some folks are like bothersome midges,
    Helping furrow your brow into ridges.
    When they get on a roll,
    Please don’t call them a “troll!”
    Though, they eat goats, and live under bridges!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  3. Interesting comment, Squeeky. Louis CK did a great bit on Conan on how the anonymity of Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc. makes kids meaner. They don’t get to see the hurt on someone’s face when they call them ugly, fat, etc. A friend of mine recently had an anonymous person threaten him on Twitter. Anonymity and non personal communication coarsens dialogue.

  4. Well, science seems to support the Grand Ayatollah, to wit:

    “The UCLA psychology department looked at two groups of 11- to 12-year-olds. During the research, one group made significantly more progress than the other. The group deprived of all digital media, even television, performed significantly better at recognizing emotions than those allowed to keep texting and tweeting and talking on Facebook after just five days.

    In an article published in Malay Mail Online, Patricia Greenfield, senior author of the study, complained, “Many people are looking at the benefits of digital media in education, and not many are looking at the costs. Decreased sensitivity to emotional cues—losing the ability to understand the emotions of other people—is one of the costs.”

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  5. Yeah, fat Fatway guy is afraid of the internet. Truth, justice and the American way. Then there is the dog way. Dog poop comin your way.

  6. At some point, rational people will exercise their dominion. From just plain wrong, psycho-babbling, environmentalist wacko, bleeding heart liberal, progressive collectivists to incoherent mystics in the ethereal realms of “religion,” normal, balanced people will have had their fill and will violently regurgitate the pabulum and propaganda.

    Alternatively, Americans have been permanently subjugated and will never enjoy freedom and unbiased, neutral governance again; the principles of collectivism as expressed in the Communist Manifesto will prevail forever.

    Comrades Washington, Jefferson, Madison, et. al., would be mightily pleased, in deed. Control of all industry and redistribution of wealth was just their cup of tea.

  7. When a turbanhead icDayhead issues a fatwa against dogs then dogs must reply in kind. The muslims in my neighborhood had better issue a denounciation or they are gonna have a pack of dogs pooping in their yards. And sense we are in America then they will have internet access and be aware of the Fatwa from Fat Guy from Hell.

  8. With so many young people in Iran being online and with purposefully slow internet, maybe one day they’ll get so angry they’ll finally succeed in getting rid of their Theocracy. I guess having to wear Hijab, stoning, lashings, and misogyny hasn’t been enough.

  9. Squeeky, adverts are scourge on consumers. People are just not aware that when they buy, for example, a new car, the purchase price includes 1000 dollars, sometimes several 1000, just for advertising. In fact, the advertising probably costs more than the raw materials for the automobile. But then how else do you subvert the middle class without getting them all to bend over like this? Yes, broadcast TV and radio is too much work.

  10. Don’t know what will happen in Iran. Who’s going to win that 30 Year’s War? My money is with Saudi Arabia, so ISIS will be around for a while until they get hung out to dry for being too much baggage for both Saudi Arabia and Turkey. Interesting. In the meantime, I bet the Ayatollah has got Internet contracts on his desk (do they use desks??) right now…

  11. lol! We have some funny lines and some good, civil, thoughtful debates going this morning on all the threads. Hmm, I wonder why.

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