We have previously discussed the issues surrounding decisions to raise children according to their non-biological sex at a young age. Now, a Massachusetts couple has decided that their five-year-old daughter must be a boy and has decided to raise the child a such. I will readily admit that I am not an expert in this field, but as a parent of four I find such a decision to be highly troubling and premature. A five-year-old child seems far far too early to make such an extreme change. Indeed, this determination was made a year earlier.
The child is now called Jack Lemay rather than Mia Lemay. The change occurred after, at age four, the parents took the child to a family therapy team which concluded that the four-year-old was transgender.
The mother, Mimi, insisted that what she saw as a “psychological burden that I don’t think anyone should have to deal with, especially not my child.” She said that the child began early on saying that she liked boy things and saying that she was a boy. The father, Joe, said that “he was showing real signs of a lot of shame and self-hatred.” Now, as Jacob, they say that the child is thriving.
They are indeed the parents and must act according to their best judgment for their child. However, as a friend, I would have strongly discouraged such a change at such an early age.
What do you think?
Source: CBS
By the way, all of the articles about suicide, which are meant to prove how gender reassignment is so necessary, are further proof of the existence of mental illness in these same individuals.
I watched the Diane Sawyer interview with Bruce Jenner last night and was saddened to hear of the pain and turmoil that he has endured for all of these many years. When Sawyer asked if he had attended therapy with his last wife over this issue, he stated that he had not. Never a mention of the much needed psychotherapy therapy that one should seek and obtain, given his troubling issues. Not a word. All the viewers heard about were the injections of hormones and plastic surgeries, which, by the way, seem to have left him with a very odd and scary alien-like appearance. Why not, instead, spend some of that money on intensive psychotherapy? As verboten as this is, I see this as a mental health issue, similar to the psychiatric problems of one possessing a seriously distorted body image. Individuals, who view themselves in the mirror, and perceive a fat, obese, person, despite weighing 85 pounds, also feel one way when their bodies present as something totally different. They are, in a sense, at war with their own bodies–guided by their grossly distorted visions of themselves. The answer, for them, is intensive therapy, which, if it takes, basically changes this twisted self-image, allowing these people to live productive and healthy lives. Why is this not the case with individuals who claim to be in the wrong bodies? There are great similarities.
Jenner stated that all he wished for was to be viewed as everyone else–he just wanted to be himself, without all the judgment and ridicule, to live his life on his own terms. Or so he claimed. When Sawyer showed snapshots of Jenner and his Russian rival in the Olympics–as they once were and as they are today–anyone else notice how Jenner proudly proclaimed how his former rival was now fat and out of shape, unlike him, of course? I’d say ole Brucie boy judges others, just like the rest of us. The rules only exist for others. We’re just supposed to gloss over his mental illness, as if it doesn’t exist, and view his destructive, self-mutilation as normal.
This is the “Leelah” in the article above @4:10. She committed suicide. Here is an exerpt from her suicide note.
http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/31/us/ohio-transgender-teen-suicide/
“Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in … because I’m transgender,” the note said. “I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally ‘boyish’ things to try to fit in.””
@Juris
I wasn’t trying to be simplistic. I just think there are more forces at play than we often consider. I think we can miss the boat if we don’t look at alternative reasons why we might be seeing a spate of poor little transgender kid stories. Some of those reasons might have nothing to do with any bona fide mental or medical condition.
You have to remember that we are being constantly bombarded with messages designed to change our minds and mold our opinions. And they are coming at us with all sorts of motives, some good and some nefarious. It is an intense campaign from all directions, and we have to fight to maintain our own sense of where we are in the world, and who we are. And what reality is.
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
Annie,
Because their ever loving, infallible and omniscient God makes mistakes…
… Don’t-ca know?
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/freedhearts/2014/12/31/deadly-sins-parents-commit-against-their-transgender-kids-in-memory-of-leelah-alcorn/
“By now, Leelah’s story has gone viral. The transgender girl who committed suicide by stepping in front of an oncoming tractor-trailer, citing her “Christian” parents’ rejection of her as the reason.
Leelah’s parents made several mistakes and didn’t know it – or didn’t care. For those who do care, I’ve made a list, drawn from Leelah’s own words, of seven common mistakes – seven deadly sins – parents and others make in dealing with transgender youth.”
1. Don’t Blame God for “Mistakes”
“When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong.”- Leelah
2. Don’t Spiritually Abuse Your Child
“My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.”- Leelah
3.Don’t Project Your Selfishness Onto Your Child
“Although the reaction from my friends was positive [after I came out as gay], my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight Christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.”- Leelah
4.Don’t Be Cruel and Unusually Punishing
“So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.” – Leelah
5.Choose Life. Offer Hope
Speaking of the body of Christ, where is this family’s church? Who spoke any hope to Leelah? (I don’t mean pretend hope, which is “hope for change.”) Who brought the family up short for their inhumane treatment? The broader church is culpable here too, for teaching and regurgitating this death to each other. We need to use common sense, observe what’s happening around us, and admit that rejection leads to death. Rejection is like cutting off a branch and throwing it in the corner and expecting it to grow. Not going to happen. Want a verse? “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live.” Deuteronomy 30:19.
6. Don’t Hate Your Child
Other parents: now that you’ve read this, you can no longer pretend you are doing this to obey God. Understand that God does not ask people to be cruel and selfish and ignorant, and God is not asking you to do this. You are doing this in your own deadly pride, which precedes a calamitous fall. Your child will be depressed, distorted, or dead.
7. Love Your Child
Be proactive. Love your child in a way that feels like love. Not some convoluted thing about “doing what’s best for them” which obviously does not pan out when you go tooth and nail against your child. Don’t use the name of Jesus unless you remember how he described love. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13. You may have to lay down your preferences, your pride, your status among those who shouldn’t gossip and judge you anyway.
If you’re going to pull down Jesus name on this, then we insist – we who live according to the life of Christ insist – that you heed his main directive to you: Love. Love God and love others. Everything else will fall into place.
*********************
About Susan Cotrell:
A mother of two gay children.
“She is a loving Mom, and a fierce, relentless advocate and ally. FreedHearts is her fulltime ministry. She is also the Vice President of PFLAG Austin, and she is getting her M.Div at Austin Seminary.”
Paul C.
Bruce Jenner = OJ Simpson?
Wait a second here, is OJ Trans, too?
DBQ
Back then…..it was….Oh well I guess DBQ is a tomboy….shrug…..get me that socket wrench over there will you and put this oil filter on the tarp.
= = =
The point you missed, which is the defining aspect that differentiates your experience versus Jacobs, is the self loathing for your female anatomy and deep questions about why you were made wrong. You didn’t express any signs of dysphoria… Please don’t debase another’s life experience just because you haven’t experienced it yourself.
@Bob Stone
You asked, “If “the hyper-liberal-political-correctness-at-any-cost” individual represents the dark side of the left, what type of person would you say represents the dark side of the right?”
That is a good question. I think the right has three really good candidates.
(1)The Ayn Rand worshippers who inhabit the Libertarian-Republican right. These people are sooo “theory” obsessed that they lack all common sense. These folks spring full blown from Atlas Shrugged, like Athena sprung from Zeus’s head, in a suit of armor with a sword in one hand, and a glock in the other. The Free Market will cure all ills, including liver spots and erectile dysfunction.
(2) The Flag Wavers. These people are the ones who go apesh*t over anybody who doesn’t say the Pledge of Allegiance quickly enough, or don’t wear a flag pin. You see them on FOX News crying sometimes. They are more of a reaction to the liberal Flag Burners and Stompers, who you see on FOX News burning flags and stomping on them. As opposed to crying, they just curse a lot, with the F word.
(3)The Bible Thumpers. These guys are some more in the line of “All or nothing” type thinkers that seem to inhabit our country today. If the Bible says the world is 6,000 years old, which it mostly doesn’t, then to heck with geology! That would fit in well with a person’s freedom to believe whatever crazy crap they want to, but these idiots have to try to invade the classrooms of America. I guess they are playing little “keep up with the Jones” games on a par with the Gaystapo chicken hawks,
You will notice that there is a common stream running through all these folks, and that it is a failure of common sense and perspective—and an over reliance on THEORY and attitude. Thus, to me, there is a common mindset between the Gaystapo and their advocates claiming that sodomy is the same as heterosexual sex, and the Bible Thumper who claims creationism is the same as evolution.
I live in a grim world.
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
Squeeky – Athena sprung fully armed from the forehead of Zeus. I do not remember mention of a Glock.
Max-1 – at ager 6 or 7 girls had cooties, so all there was were boys. However, I don’t remember having a sexual attraction to anyone until about 8th grade and it was female.
Juris
I knew by the age of 6 or 7 that I liked men…
Paul, sorry to hear. Sounds like you know firsthand some of what these parents of transgenders have to deal with. I was about to ask your opinion on the post but saw it upstream already.
Bob Stone
If “the hyper-liberal-political-correctness-at-any-cost” individual represents the dark side of the left, what type of person would you say represents the dark side of the right?
= = =
I posted the video of that limitation on the marriage thread. Mat Staver…
I have to LOL at those who need to convict Jenner for an accident he wasn’t found liable in another woman’s death. Like that justifies stoning him over…
Max-1 – Michael Brown’s family is suing the City of Ferguson and Darren Wilson was found by two groups to be innocent of murdering Michael. And you are surprised that Bruce Jenner is having problems with the public? Hell, O.J. still is having problems with the public and he was found not guilty.
apieceofblueksy
I agree. Children need positive affirmation in their life and for children who identify as LGBT on any level early in life they have been growing up primarily in a society that shuns them. In the past, LGBT people have been denied basic accommodations, working conditions, marital status or even recognition in everyday social settings. I’m talking about a past that isn’t that far back… in fact, many LGBT people still live in that reality, today. I’m lucky enough to live in Washington State, a State that grants me equality on all levels. Yet I can’t ignore the reality of other’s conditions. And, in many ways expressed on this board, social attitudes and behaviors toward the LGBT community are still ripe with animus at the ‘other’. What saddens me is knowing that young people see this negative attitude about LGBT people in their daily lives and it etches itself onto their psychological chalkboard of self worth, which for many it adds up to reading as, ‘unacceptable to others’. We’re getting there slowly, to a place of more acceptance and less resistance. I just wish people would stop stoning us with their good book. That is a major stumbling point in society… and to say to a child who identifies as LGBT that should they ‘choose’ this ‘lifestyle’ that their soul will go to hell.. is basically condemning their life on earth to be a living hell.
For the life of me, how does that lift up a person’s spirit, let alone a child’s?
Squeaky, I think labeling and trying to “fit” parents into “types” is beyond simplistic. Parenting is such a dynamic process. It is so difficult to explain until you are a parent. I am not sure if you have kids, but from the birth of my first child, I saw the world through a new set of lenses. I am so fortunate to have 2 healthy little ones. It breaks my heart to see other parents have to deal with serious medical issues, and I would consider this transgender one in that category.
Squeeky,
Question:
If “the hyper-liberal-political-correctness-at-any-cost” individual represents the dark side of the left, what type of person would you say represents the dark side of the right?
A man’s got to know his limitations.
Paul,
I hope you can laugh about it with him today, just as I do with my brother, regardless of how our brothers turned out. To be clear, I don’t deny that this is a real issue. Your brother is who he is and that is great. My point was, as others have made, 5 years is way, way, way, too young to know, certainly know, that this is a transgender issue.
I am all for being yourself, and think it is way healthier (at least mentally) to do so, as opposed to putting on some front of who you are or who you think you are supposed to be.
Juris – sadly my brother caught HIV very early while the bath houses were open in San Francisco. He died a very painful death.
Greg
I’ve been around the blog-o-sphere a while. Yes, I’ve posted there and other places too. Have we meet somewhere else?
Squeeky Fromm,
You said it far better than I could have. I feel that most of these people fall into category 3