Magic Carpet Bombing? Poll Shows Surprising Number of People Want To Bomb Agrabah

250px-Robinwilliams_aladdin220px-B-2_spirit_bombingA poll by the Democratic Public Policy Polling outfit found that 30 percent of Republicans support the bombing of Agrabah. The only problem is that agrabah is the fictional home of Aladdin. Of course, few would sympathize with Jafar, Grand Vizier to the Sultan of Agrabah (particularly after his horrible conduct in the Cave of Wonders), there are other rather cute cartoon characters in Agrabah who should not be vaporized in the war on terror. Yet, the bombing of Agrabah seems almost tame when candidates are calling for the killing of the families of terrorists or pledging that, if they are allowed to go back in time, they would strangle the baby Hitler.


The poll found 30% of Republicans support bombing the fictional kingdom while only 13% percent were against taking action, 57% were indifferent as to whether Agrabah is turned into a parking lot or left alone.

It is not just Republicans however who appear ready to take the war on terror into fictional settings. Some 19% of Democrats — roughly one in five — want to blow away Agrabah. They answer affirmatively to the simple question “would you support or oppose bombing Agrabah?”

While other candidates and critics have challenged Sen. Ted Cruz over his understanding the meaning of “carpet bombing,” no one could disagree with the effectiveness of magic carpet bombing in a place like Agrabah.

It still remains to be seen if the candidates will now try to outdo themselves on adding other fictional settings to target in the war on terror. Hillary Clinton may want to pledge to wipe out that bed of sexism known as Bedrock while Sanders may want to just target Scrooge McDuck. Someone could pick up votes from the religious right to pledge to flatten that den of witchcraft known as Hogwarts while anti-environmental candidates could target those green do-gooders living in Atlantis.

Indeed, we may have gotten this thing all wrong. Rather than resisting perpetual wars, we could simply require all wars target fictional places. Thus, ISIS could send as many cartoon suicide bombers as they want to level Springfield and those all-Americans in the Simpson family.

Of course, we need to consider the assets of the enemy.  Agrabah does have a protective Genie to deal with in any air campaign . . .

78 thoughts on “Magic Carpet Bombing? Poll Shows Surprising Number of People Want To Bomb Agrabah”

  1. Hskiprob……the “paranoids” aren’t war mongering. The enemy has declared their intent. You can bury your head in the sand or join reality. If you have intel….that isis doesn’t mean what it says. Do share. Until then i’ll stick with the presumption that served mankind for centuries…
    .presume ppl do what they say they’ll do. But you must have a crystal ball….delusional crank.

  2. Hillary recently stated that “I have been as honest AS I KNOW HOW TO BE”, and I believe her.

  3. “There is no constitutional republic and hasn’t been one for a long time if ever. The last sixty+ years has seen the US transform into an oligarchy.”

    Your last sentence might explain your first. Of course recognizing HOW both parties screwed it all up takes some intellectual honesty. Here’s a hint: they abandoned the constitution to accelerate their progressive ideology.

    Carson has as much experience as Obama had when he first ran in 2008. The HUGE difference is Carson admits he doesn’t have all the answers; Obama believes he simply lacks the ability to communicate his greatness.

    Cruz, list his top 5 lies. Take whatever time you need. Hillary, list her top 5 truths. See you next year.

    1. Carson has as much experience as Obama had when he first ran in 2008. The HUGE difference is Carson admits he doesn’t have all the answers;
      ———————————————
      ???????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Carson has NONE of the answers.
      Even the guys he hired to teach him foreign affairs, like another pageant winner before, Sarah palin, admitted they could not get him to understand the most basic issues.

  4. Paul C. Schulte
    1, December 23, 2015 at 2:06 pm
    issac – an you think the community activist had nothing to do with it?
    ———————————
    Yes, anhan..for the community activist was around all along…?
    All he did was to rally the right and its nuts around an even more vehement core of nuttery!
    One that is willing, and gladly so, to blow the country up in the name of stopping obamacare and gay marriage.

  5. Nick Spinelli
    1, December 21, 2015 at 10:37 am
    I will give an INDEPENDENTS assessment of the main contenders. Bernie is average intelligence and not very eloquent. Hillary is smart and swift on her feet, but she will say ANYTHING to get elected and is pure evil. O’Malley is dumber than a box of rocks. Trump is average intelligence and buffoonish in personality. Cruz is arguably the smartest person to run for prez in my lifetime, the best debater, and creepy
    ——————————–
    no wonder we are in the such a deep hole!
    And this comment is smarter than most we hear coming from the right!!!

  6. Olly

    Cruz is the epitome of the politicians who moves in whatever direction he feels will support him. He rivals any one of them for untruths or lies, however one wishes to term them. He is scary.

    Carson is in la la land. He may have a great pair of hands and can muster up the focus to use them in surgery but that is one percent of one percent of what it takes to be President. He can be summed up in one blurb, that the pyramids were built to store grain. He also is scary.

    Furthermore there are always more than two reasons. I don’t believe that Clinton tells the truth any less or more than the others. Voting for someone when knowing both sides of the person is not being gullible. There is no constitutional republic and hasn’t been one for a long time if ever. The last sixty+ years has seen the US transform into an oligarchy. The intellectual and manufacturing ‘birthright’ of America has been sold on the open global market and both parties have been to blame. The sad truth of the matter is that one side, the democrats have slightly fewer bad points or slightly more good points, however you wish to view the glass, half empty or half full. The Republican party is a train wreck and has done more harm to America in the past seven years than either party in their existence. The US lags behind the world and it is primarily due to the anchor of the illusion of what may or may not have been. Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett are dead and John Wayne was a draft dodger. The future of America lies in the future, not in the past.

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