A poll by the Democratic Public Policy Polling outfit found that 30 percent of Republicans support the bombing of Agrabah. The only problem is that agrabah is the fictional home of Aladdin. Of course, few would sympathize with Jafar, Grand Vizier to the Sultan of Agrabah (particularly after his horrible conduct in the Cave of Wonders), there are other rather cute cartoon characters in Agrabah who should not be vaporized in the war on terror. Yet, the bombing of Agrabah seems almost tame when candidates are calling for the killing of the families of terrorists or pledging that, if they are allowed to go back in time, they would strangle the baby Hitler.
The poll found 30% of Republicans support bombing the fictional kingdom while only 13% percent were against taking action, 57% were indifferent as to whether Agrabah is turned into a parking lot or left alone.
It is not just Republicans however who appear ready to take the war on terror into fictional settings. Some 19% of Democrats — roughly one in five — want to blow away Agrabah. They answer affirmatively to the simple question “would you support or oppose bombing Agrabah?”
While other candidates and critics have challenged Sen. Ted Cruz over his understanding the meaning of “carpet bombing,” no one could disagree with the effectiveness of magic carpet bombing in a place like Agrabah.
It still remains to be seen if the candidates will now try to outdo themselves on adding other fictional settings to target in the war on terror. Hillary Clinton may want to pledge to wipe out that bed of sexism known as Bedrock while Sanders may want to just target Scrooge McDuck. Someone could pick up votes from the religious right to pledge to flatten that den of witchcraft known as Hogwarts while anti-environmental candidates could target those green do-gooders living in Atlantis.
Indeed, we may have gotten this thing all wrong. Rather than resisting perpetual wars, we could simply require all wars target fictional places. Thus, ISIS could send as many cartoon suicide bombers as they want to level Springfield and those all-Americans in the Simpson family.
Of course, we need to consider the assets of the enemy. Agrabah does have a protective Genie to deal with in any air campaign . . .