Magic Carpet Bombing? Poll Shows Surprising Number of People Want To Bomb Agrabah

250px-Robinwilliams_aladdin220px-B-2_spirit_bombingA poll by the Democratic Public Policy Polling outfit found that 30 percent of Republicans support the bombing of Agrabah. The only problem is that agrabah is the fictional home of Aladdin. Of course, few would sympathize with Jafar, Grand Vizier to the Sultan of Agrabah (particularly after his horrible conduct in the Cave of Wonders), there are other rather cute cartoon characters in Agrabah who should not be vaporized in the war on terror. Yet, the bombing of Agrabah seems almost tame when candidates are calling for the killing of the families of terrorists or pledging that, if they are allowed to go back in time, they would strangle the baby Hitler.

The poll found 30% of Republicans support bombing the fictional kingdom while only 13% percent were against taking action, 57% were indifferent as to whether Agrabah is turned into a parking lot or left alone.

It is not just Republicans however who appear ready to take the war on terror into fictional settings. Some 19% of Democrats — roughly one in five — want to blow away Agrabah. They answer affirmatively to the simple question “would you support or oppose bombing Agrabah?”

While other candidates and critics have challenged Sen. Ted Cruz over his understanding the meaning of “carpet bombing,” no one could disagree with the effectiveness of magic carpet bombing in a place like Agrabah.

It still remains to be seen if the candidates will now try to outdo themselves on adding other fictional settings to target in the war on terror. Hillary Clinton may want to pledge to wipe out that bed of sexism known as Bedrock while Sanders may want to just target Scrooge McDuck. Someone could pick up votes from the religious right to pledge to flatten that den of witchcraft known as Hogwarts while anti-environmental candidates could target those green do-gooders living in Atlantis.

Indeed, we may have gotten this thing all wrong. Rather than resisting perpetual wars, we could simply require all wars target fictional places. Thus, ISIS could send as many cartoon suicide bombers as they want to level Springfield and those all-Americans in the Simpson family.

Of course, we need to consider the assets of the enemy.  Agrabah does have a protective Genie to deal with in any air campaign . . .

78 thoughts on “Magic Carpet Bombing? Poll Shows Surprising Number of People Want To Bomb Agrabah”

  1. Nick

    Take some deep breaths. Sketch out your points. Then organized them. Then start. But one last thing, take a pill.

  2. L’Observer,
    Several of the contributors here, including Nick, rightly “observe” that the political machines of both major parties will make statements that play to the ignorance of their constituents. Jonathan Gruber laid bare the sausage-making that is the legislative process and even after that was exposed the ignorance proved to be willful. If you continue to limit your vitriol to only the GOP after all the evidence Democrats are equally corrupt, then you clearly fall into the latter camp.

  3. Hey Olly!

    Don’t like my list? Every single one of them was spouted by some dumb Republican; often by some dumb Republican running for President. And even if the Republican running for office thinks one of those ideas/policies/values are full of cr#p, he’ll say it anyway since he knows there are enough dumb Republicans out there who believe the cr#p and it will win him votes.

    1. “it was the video”, “it was a spontaneous demonstration”, ” Bo Bergdahl served with honor and distinction”, “we were broke when we left the White House”, ” wipe the computer with a cloth?”, “the $1,000 cattle futures investment that returned $100,000 was for Chelsea’college fund”, ” ISIS is showing Trump videos to recruit”, “I’m tired of hearing about your damn emails”, ” we’re going to get the person responsible for that video” ( to the surviving relatives of those killed at Benghazi), “Arab Spring”, ” Ghaddafi must go”, “Mubarek must go”, ” Assad must go”, “I don’t know how hundreds of FBI files ended up on m kitchen table”, ” Assad must go”, “a lack of transparency was an advantage”, relying on ” the stupidity of the American voter”, etc.
      I’d get callouses listing everything.Just a few that come to mind.

    2. L’Observer —– Vs. a list of the really stupid things that socialists say. Do you really want to start a listing war. Both democrats and republicans say stupid things. They’re not really stupid though. They’re lying and of course the lies are going to cross over the truth and make them look stupid. The only ones that aren’t lying are the ones that never gain any political base because it a pay to play game that you haven’t apparently “observed” yet. Almost all social policy benefits special interests are the expense of everyone else. It is impossible to create social policy that is in the best interest of the majority and more importantly prove that it is. Not understanding how the game is really played makes your look …………

    3. L’Observer – it seems you have overlooked the passel of lies told by Hillary. Seems all those dumb Democrats are still willing to vote for her.

  4. I should have specified that Inhofe was appointed to Chair that Senate committee.

    The dumb leading the dumber.

  5. And Inhofe is an idiot and does not understand melting ice cubes and volume displacement and is an apt example of stupid Republicans who are respected by other stupid Republicans and then appointed to Senate committees whose oversight requires an understanding of something more than fifth grade science.

  6. “Just a few ideas that are held by Republicans….”

    “Next, someone should attempt to define “objective””


    Certainly not you. After reviewing that list of yours I’m 100% confident Nick would say the definition is exactly the opposite of whatever you represent.

  7. Sorry, Fiver. Hadn’t seen your Mill quote. However it is worth repeating.

    Next, someone should attempt to define “objective” to the self-proclaimed smartest guy in the room who began his career as a prison guard and rose to the heights of private investigator.

  8. Anyone who believes that Democratic Chicago Mayors Rahm Emmanuel, Richie Daley, and Richard J. Daley are/were even remotely “liberal” simply doesn’t know what they are talking about – either regarding Chicago politics or regarding basic political science.

    They obviously don’t have a clue regarding the history of the Democratic Party in Chicago.

    That’s only one problem with embracing the FOX News/Rush Limbaugh framework of labeling. There are other problems, of course. But at the very least, please stop claiming to be libertarian. It’s embarrassing to those of use who actually know what that means.

  9. Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

    John Stuart Mill

  10. Fema Camps.
    Jade Helm
    Climate Change
    Rape Victims Can’t Get Pregnant
    Pyramids Store Grain
    Carpet Bombing Only Kills the Bad Guys
    The Earth is 6000 Years Old
    Cutting Taxes Will Produce More Revenue
    Dinosaurs and Humans Lived at the Same Time
    Health Care is Best Run as a Free Market
    Ebola is Spread Through the Air
    Illegals Have Cantaloupe Calves
    Kill the Terrorists Families
    Five Year Olds May be Terrorists
    My Gun Will Protect Me From the Government
    Same Sex Marriage is Going to Ruin Marriage
    Money is Speech
    Corporations Are People
    I Get to Tell Women What Kind of Contraception They Can Use
    I Get to Force Women to Carry a Pregnancy to Term
    Healthcare for All Americans is Bad
    Clean Air and Water Are Not Priorities

    Just a few ideas that are held by Republicans….

  11. John Stuart Mill has never been to 100% Dem inner[including 104% Chicago], Boston Southie, or any other of many Boston strongholds. There are many smart and stupid conservatives, and an equal number of stupid and smart liberals. You see, I hang w/ both. I don’t just sit in a corner w/ like minded people. Mostly because I’ve never found any liked minded people, I am conservative on some issues, liberal on others. We libertarians are the last best hope for this country.

  12. Inhofe? Really! LOL! Your OCD is showing Isaac. I allowed you to swing from Dem and Rep voters, which was YOUR original screed, when you tacitly conceded that they have equal numbers of stupid voters, the Dem inner cities and all. You then went on a mini rant about Dem/Rep Presidential candidates. I allowed you to save face, and went along, assessing BOTH parties CURRENT candidates, albeit whittling down the Rep casting call numbers. I did so honestly and candidly. And what is the response, a SCREED on Inhofe and the fundamentalist religion of Global Warming. You need some help w/ the OCD. Oh, and Isaac, if you’re seeing Inhofe on stage @ the Rep debates then you may be schizophrenic.

    Here’s the bigger tell in your polemic, my dear Canadian friend. As I often say, I have learned as an investigator, you can learn more from deceptive/dissembling people by what they DON’T say, than by what they do say. You took your boilerplate shots @ the Rep candidates. You then defended your current cult leader[he’s not on the ballot, Isaac], gave a perfunctory sentence on Hillary, and then the OCD kicked in again ranting on “cowboys”, not on the ballot. So, you don’t have the balls to admit there are equal numbers of stupid Dem/Rep voters, and now are unable to admit the Dem field is not noteworthy on the intellectual scale, w/ the pretty boy, Irishman being the dumbest on either stage. Above all else, my dear Canadian friend, you are uninteresting, horribly predictable, intellectually dishonest, and about half as bright as you think you are. That’s why few people engage you. I do on occasion out of hope. In the past you have shown glimmers of being able to actually think for yourself and not just give projectile vomit of liberal talking points. However, since the election campaigning started, you are off the hook, dude. Combine your ideological brainwashing, OCD, and are an angry, humorless, man; and you are one more tedious comment away from going on my ignore list. That may be a Christmas present to myself. Step up your game. Stop spewing talking points. You have one more chance.

  13. The rarity in politics is not finding ignorant people, they exist across the political spectrum. No, the true rarity is finding people that are smart enough to know government is not an entity that can or should be trusted to honor their oath of office. Establishment Republicans and Democrats alike will drive this republic off the proverbial cliff using their gullible constituents as their GPS.

  14. This column reminds me of FDR’s comment, when reporters asked him where the planes from the Doolittle raid launched their raid. FDR quipped that the planes took off from a secret base in “Shangri-La”.
    The press and the public got the joke. In today’s environment, there’d probably be a sizable minority thinking there was actually a ” Shangi-La” with a base there.

  15. Yes,yes yes, we must carpet bomb Agrabah right back into cartoon land!! But really, I just hate that Aldadin guy.

  16. “Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.” John Stuart Mill

  17. Nick

    Your assessments, supported by your really really amazing expertise which you trundle out at every given opportunity along with your incredible first hand understanding of the ethnic diversity, food, and habits of this nation are still graphically ideological. And that’s OK. The core being of most, if not all of us, is ideological. Then we move on to intelligence and that is where, as mentioned above, Republicans are woefully lacking, to the tune of 30% to the Dems 19%, hardly a push. Ignorance pervades both parties.

    The poster child for the Republican’s grasp on global warming and rising sea levels is Senator Jim Inhofe. He is famous for his scientific understanding of the conditions of the polar ice caps and once explained with all the authoritative panache of a scientist, including props that if you place an ice cube in a glass of water and watch it melt, the level of water in the glass does not rise. He then went on to conclude that ice melting at the polar caps can therefore not raise the levels of the world’s oceans. He wore his now famous smirk throughout.

    Inhofe repeated his scientific illustrations proving beyond a doubt that the world is not warming by finding enough snow to make a snowball and throwing it at someone. The only thing missing was the white coat, not the scientist’s white coat but the white coats worn by the guys that should come and put him in a straight jacket and wheel him out of government. But wait, he is elected by Republicans.

    So, let’s recap. The man is of extremely low intelligence. He may be clever. He may understand what the people want to hear. And, he may be just another tool. However, he is voted in again and again based on his intelligence, which is sorely wanting. It follows that the Republican voters that buy his science must think highly enough of him to vote him in again and again. I have yet to see exhibited by the Democrats an idiot of this calibre.

    Now, move on to the rest of the Republican Senators that placed him there. Again, not really intelligent; perhaps clever, perhaps not, but not intelligent. The ones that buy Inhofe’s science are as stupid as he is. The rest are simply politicians doing their jobs. Add on Cruz, Trump, Rubio, and the rest and you have varying degrees of cleverness, but no real intelligence. If Trump were to stop right now and say, “OK, I have your attention, so let’s get serious and craft everyone of these issues with care and a rational approach. Let’s not throw away working parts but fix and replace the parts that are screwed up.” perhaps he could be labeled intelligent, or just really really clever.

    Regardless of what you think of Obama’s positions, policies, and machinations, he is intelligent. He may not be clever, clever but he is clever enough to rope dope the Republican party into their present chaos. He tried at first to work with them. When it became apparent that the Republicans were going to do everything and anything to bounce him, regardless of the cost to the nation, Obama ignored them and did what he could to move forward. He ain’t perfect, but he’s by far light years ahead of anything the Republican party has to offer. And, Clinton is as well, regardless of how ‘evil’ she is. After Bush, and Reagan, perhaps America needs intelligence and not cowboys. Wadda ya think, Nick?

    1. To me issacbasonkavichi, it appears you are describing every politician in the Presidential race except Rand Paul and he is having to compromise his butt off to keep up with the rest of the demopublicans.

      Audit the Fed and get us out of all the foreign wars, especially Agrabah. I’m told the Sultan is a libertarian.

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