Mein Kake: Adolph Hitler (Campbell) Refused Birthday Cake at ShopRite

thumb_birthday_birthday_cake_4hitlerFirst there was the Reichstag and now there is the Ritestag. The Campbell family of Easton, Pa., is up in arms over the denial of a birthday cake for their three-year-old boy: Adolf Hitler Campbell. ShopRite refused to make a cake for the genocidal murderer namesake — infuriating his siblings Pol Pot Campbell and The-Rape-of-Nanking Campbell.

Ok, Adolph does not have siblings with those names, but he does have siblings named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell (almost 2) and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (almost 1). Strangely, the parents are sporting strangely normal monikers of Heath and Deborah. In the meantime, Eichman (not a Campbell) has been arrested in Delaware.

Heath, 35, is himself outraged by objections to the name, insisting “They need to accept a name. A name’s a name. The kid isn’t going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did.”

True, it is doubtful that three-year-old Adolph Hitler Campbell stabs nightly at a map of Russia screaming Lebensraum! Yet, there still is that odd preference for naming a child after a man who killed so many children and other innocents. Besides, didn’t Hitler say “I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature?” If so, from a Nazi-naturalist viewpoint, what is the gripe against ShopRite?

Fortunately for the Campbells, Wal-Mart proved to have the Reich-stuff and made the cake for them and the birthday went off without a hitch (accept for blaming Jews for lighting the cake on fire — ok I made that last part up as well).

I am a bit surprised that ShopRite did not quote the original Adolph Hitler by writing on the order, “The day of individual happiness has passed.”

For the full story, click here and here.

22 thoughts on “Mein Kake: Adolph Hitler (Campbell) Refused Birthday Cake at ShopRite

  1. Yikes! I think we have found the stupidest parents in the country. How can anyone in their right mind(far, far right)name a child after Adolph Hitler? Then you see the names of the kids and things come into focus. These parents, not very well disguised Nazi’s, want to make sure that Hitler’s good deeds live on forever through their son. I think that DCFS(whatever the Pennsylvania equivalent is) needs to investigate these parents. I am not sure that they can bring up a child properly. Just giving the kids those names is enough for me to consider them abusive.

  2. “Heath, 35, is incense by objections to the name, insisting “They need to accept a name. A name’s a name. The kid isn’t going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did.”

    ***************

    Reminds me of the logic employed by Steve Martin in his movie “The Jerk” when he decided to name his dog with a colorful but crude name.

  3. A couple of generations ago my father’s family name was changed from their Italian surname by simply usurping the Scottish surname of the president of the steel mill where my grandfather worked. I can truthfully and thankfully say these Campbells are not relatives. As for my own family, there are no Benitos.

    Bearing the Campbell name did once cause me a pretty awkward moment, however. I was a young salesman doing cold calls trying to sell office furniture. I strolled into an office, handed the lady at the desk my business card and explained who I was and why I was there. She handed my card back and said it wouldn’t be possible to do any business with me. Curious, I asked why. I was told it was because my name was Campbell.

    Now, more than a bit surprised, I pressed for an explanation. The woman said the problem was that I was a Campbell and she was a descendent of the McLaren clan. She went on to explain that in the 12th or 13th century (I don’t recall which, though she surely did) the Campbells raided the McLaren stronghold in Scotland and killed many McLarens. Once I explained how my family actually got the name and that my ancestors were peaceable goatherders (or whatever) in southern Italy at the time, we became friendly and I got a nice order from her. Oh, those crazy Campbells….

  4. Rcampbell:

    The terrible part of that story is that the Campbells in the 12th century were posing as office furniture salesmen bringing Ottomans to the McLarens — hence the long-forgotten phrase ‘Beware of Campbells Bearing Furniture.”

    JT

  5. I think there’s a serious threat to the child’s safety here in naming him “Adolf Hitler”. A very serious threat. While it might pass as a youngster, just think for a moment how that names going to sound in a moderately integrated junior or senior High School gym class.

    Coach: “ok, suit up….Jawarosky, Simons, Miller….Hitler…..where’s Hitler, anyone seen Hitler?”

    This kid is facing some serious, serious trouble in the near future thanks to the reckless ignorance of these people.

  6. “Campbells in the 12th century were posing as office furniture salesmen bringing Ottomans to the McLarens…”
    ********

    I had no idea the campbells were engaged in the Turkish slave trade! r rcampbell, give me call and we’ll get back that good Italian name back and save you from this Scottish civil war!

  7. Yes rcampbell, the 1100’s seem just like yesterday.

    From “Anarchy in the 12th century, Eyewitness to History”:

    “They oppressed the wretched people of the country severely with castle-building. When the castles were built, they filled them with devils and wicked men.”

    So was it really just furniture or was your family in the starter castle guild? I’m not buying that I-tal-yan story!

  8. Mespo

    Thanks for the offer, but here’s the “…rest of the story”:

    In Feb 1941, my father and two friends went to the Navy recruitment office to sign up for a one year hitch. One of his buddies’ had a brother who was already serving ond a ship in the Navy and they were assured they could join the brother at his assignment. My father, who was known as Lew Campbell his whole like showed up at the recruitment office with his official birth certificate showing his name as Luigi Mascio. He had to delay his enlistment while going through the legal process of changing his name. He missed getting into the Navy with his friends, so he joined the Army instead. The duty assignment they all wanted to join the brother on was aboard the USS Arizona at Pearl harbor. The brother and one buddy survived the attack–one did not.

    Jill

    You probably know better than most how common Italiani are in NE Ohio.

  9. BTW, my dad served in recon in North Africa and Europe under Gen Patton and got through without a scratch. Grazia Dio.

  10. rcampbell,

    That is an amazing and interesting story. I recently found some papers from a man who worked recon in Germany during WWII. He had maps drawn and orders. I’m so glad your dad made it!

    Jill

  11. Guess what, y’all…?

    Jill is not an ‘intellectual’, much less Grad Student – from anywhere.

    BIG surprise there, huh! ;O

    She is a flakin’ ne’r do well from West Virgini
    -ayehhhhhh!

    Yeehah!

  12. Guess what, y’all…?

    Jill is not an ‘intellectual’, much less Grad Student – from anywhere.
    ——

    And she ain’t ‘Italiana’ either…

  13. It is my observation and recollection that Jill is a very intelligent and thoughtful poster who lives in NW Ohio and therefore somewhat knowledgeable about the infamous and nefarious characters from my hometown in NE Ohio.

  14. I agree rcampbell. I’ve always found Jill’s posts to be very informative. And even though her and I don’t always argee on things, I too think she’s an intelligent and thoughtful poster as well.

    by the way Jill, I’m on the NE side of Indiana, so we’re rather close to each other!

  15. Who cares what Patty C thinks about anyone or anything?

    All she does is launch vicious, ugly personal attacks on people without any provocation whatsoever.

    Look at what she writes. What did Jill say to her? What gives her the right to just waltz in and slander and insult Jill out of the blue like that? Insulting her in such an ugly fashion? Who made her queen shit for a day?

    I don’t know about the rest of you but if you think this Patty C is anything more than a troll then you’re dumber than your law degrees indicate.

    And the next one of you that tells me I owe her some sort of apology can pucker and kiss my rosy red ass too. You may be dumb enough to believe she’s anything other than an insult troll, who’s playing you for collective fools, but man don’t drag me down into your stupidity pit.

  16. Patty C
    1, December 17, 2008 at 7:07 pm
    Guess what, y’all…?

    Jill is not an ‘intellectual’, much less Grad Student – from anywhere.

    BIG surprise there, huh! ;O

    She is a flakin’ ne’r do well from West Virgini
    -ayehhhhhh!

    Yeehah!

    12 Patty C
    1, December 17, 2008 at 7:17 pm
    Guess what, y’all…?

    Jill is not an ‘intellectual’, much less Grad Student – from anywhere.
    ——

    And she ain’t ‘Italiana’ either…

  17. yea…real nice “lady” you guys got there.

    Perhaps I could interest some of you fine attorney’s in a beautiful piece of Floridian real estate?

    How about a nice bridge?

    Anyone? Anyone at all……Buhler…

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