It was only recently that many of us put away our Square Root Day decorations. Yet, it is now time to celebrate Pi day in all of its irrational glory. The irrational number is rounded off to 3.14, making March 14th the special day for all math geeks — and circle circumference fanatics.
Many people loath Pi Day due to the pressure of finding that special gift to celebrate the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Most pies are ideal for the parties but stores have destroyed the holiday by making it too commercial. Kids just want to grab their circular gifts without any thought of the true meaning of Pi Day.
This year, Congress voted 391-10 vote to designate today as the official Pi Day for the first time in history. Obviously the anti-Pi lobby was able to snare ten members who continue their anti-circumferencial and anti-Euclidean politics. After all, Indiana once tried to declare Pi as 3.2 in 1897. This was done despite the fact that Pi is actually 3.14159.
The anti-Pi coalition includes Jason Chaffetz (R, Utah), Jeff Flake (R., Az.), Dean Heller (R. Montana), Timothy Johnson (R., Ill.); Jeff Miller (R., Fl.); Randy Neugebauer (R., TX). Ron Paul (R., TX), Ted Poe (R. TX), Bill Shuster (R., Pa.) and Mike Pence (R., Ind.). It is ironic that the opposition is entirely made up of Republicans despite the practical alliance with Clintonian Triangulation politics.
Ron Paul’s work for the anti-Pi forces may be an expression of a libertarian disgust with state-sponsored mathematics.
The stalwart Pi-man is Rep. Brian Baird (D-Wash) proudly admits that he is “kind of geeked up about it and that he has “been fascinated by pi since I was a kid. It blows my mind. It’s lovely. The fact that it’s sort of this infinite number. I just think it’s this magical thing. … There’s a real beauty to mathematics.” What is really amazing is that Baird not only was able to get a date in High School but marry a real, non-inflatable woman.
Notably, March 14th is also Albert Einstein — making this day of unspeakable joy for the geek class.
Yet, Rep. John P. Murtha (D-Pa.) insists that this was a bait-and switch: “I thought I was voting for p-i-e.”
Pi party animals can be a bit out of control today with Pi eating contests and Pi in the Face attacks. Many can be seen in alleys and science ghettos calculating Pi, which has been calculated to over 1 trillion digits past the decimal. Do not get sucked into such calculations, which have been known to turn math fanatics into virtual calculating vombies. “High on Pi” is a common police call.
“Pi eaters” are often found near libraries and science labs. They should not be approached while calculating.
For eligible men and women, be particularly careful about math geeks inviting you up to “see my Euclidean space.”
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