The Cockney Cuban: English Comedian Held By U.S. Officials As Suspected Illegal Alien From Cuba Due to His “Funny Accent”

    200px-Paul_O'Grady,_April_2009_croppedEnglish comedian Paul O’Grady should have known better. He tried to enter the United States with a “funny accent” and was stopped in Miami by our security officials as a suspected “illegal alien” from Cuba. It was a close call. We came within feet of O’Grady unleashing English humor on U.S. soil. (OK, he does not have a Cockney accent, but it sure ain’t good American talkin’).

    O’Grady says that he was told that he was suspected of being an illegal from Cuba due to his accent.

    The problem is that he was ultimately released into the country to undermine our indigenous comedians with his foreign humor and one-liners. If Homeland Security had simply looked down the list they would have seen that two slots below “illegal alien” is another barred category for “English comedian.”

    Fortunately, I am at the beach with my family in a remote spot. However, the rest of you are vulnerable to Benny-Hill-Monty-Python-Mr.-Bean-type attacks. The following video contains disturbing images, but I feel that it is important for Turley blog readers to know what they are facing:

    God help us all.
    For the full story, click here.

51 thoughts on “The Cockney Cuban: English Comedian Held By U.S. Officials As Suspected Illegal Alien From Cuba Due to His “Funny Accent”

  1. AY,

    I think maybe you are mistaking “clowns” for “clones”. In the spirit of fair trade, we should at least try to unload, em, er, trade them Larry the Cable Guy. But if we send them Osteen and Hinn, no matter what we get in trade, they’ll just get the booted out of Britain like the Puritans did and end up back here anyway.

  2. If it weren’t for guys like me you would not only be “turning japanese”, you would also be speaking it, nimrod…….

  3. Yeah, you’re just that important, aren’t you? Those grunts who landed at Normandy could have just stayed home and those boys in the So. Pacific could have sat back on the beach drinking Mai-Tai’s instead of fighting.

    You could have won the war single handed. Just like Rummy.

    You’re just the reincarnation of Ares, aren’t you? Psst, that’s not a compliment. Ask any worshiper of Athena.

  4. I can only thank General Marshall that we didn’t have you working in the War Department. We would all be goose-stepping down Main street and wearing leiderhosen at family picnics…..

  5. I may not agree with you on principal, but I do feel you are a very bright guy, with a good grasp of the King’s good english.

  6. lol

    Oh no! Not lederhosen!

    What’s next? You gonna call me a Nazi? Tell me I have a small pee pee? That Betty Grable wouldn’t do anything to me but kick me in the crotch? That my feet stink and Jesus doesn’t love me?

    You aren’t much for tactics considering you’re supposedly a General. Your strategy is lacking as well. I can see how such a mighty intellect came to the conclusion that carpet bombing civilians is a good idea.

    If you wanted any respect, you should have came in disguised as Eisenhower. Or at least Patton: he was nuts but at least he was a tactical genius. But LeMay?

    Please.

    That’s almost as bad as choosing McNamara as a nick.

  7. You’re right, it would have made more sense to have one million GI’s killed attempting to conquer Tokyo through invasion. After all, why punish the “yellow peril”, in light of the cowardly attack on Pearl Harbor and the wondeful restraint they showed our POW’s in The PI and especially during the Bataan March. After all they only used our GI’s as bayonet practice while living and beheaded civilians in front of there family’s, just for shits and giggles. maybe it was just to much sake, the night before! Heaven forbid we punish them for these heinous acts!

  8. Hey Curtis LeMay when we’re all done re-fighting WW2, can we start on the Peloponnesian War? I am sure you’re an expert in that also.

    You tough guys sure do talk tough too!

  9. I am very much enjoying the recent troll invasion. Seems that health care reform has summoned them from the murky depths of the Sea of Stupid. And to get Wayne back, my what a cataclysmic change must be in the offing. Now, if only Bartlebee would appear from the mists, it would be a veritable orgy of the ignorant.

  10. Mespo, you must be late for your special ed. class. Hurry, you might miss the graham crackers they are passing out, before you start in on “finger painting”.

  11. I remember Mespo, he is the “pseudo-intellectual” who got jack-hammered many moons ago when he tryed to sound intelligent discussing the Catholic church. He got “pummeled” by some young apologist. He “smoked” you Mespo, and some of your ambulance chaser cronies. I enjoyed that blog, but didn’t feel the need to chime in, he was so adroitly “blowing you out of the water”. Loved it!

  12. mespo,

    blah blah blah mespo blah blah mespo blah blah bad mespo blah blah blah

    Take that! lol

    Yeah, I think you’re right. The health care and insurance industry must be ponying up the troll cash in buckets. This is quite a deluge. That or the Neocons and graft merchants really want to draw attention away from the Holder investigation that isn’t really an investigation. Either way, sure seems someone is back to paying these clowns just like they are paying for the teabaggers at the health care town halls.

  13. Of course, those of us turlees who were actually present in the early days of turlee bliss will formally remember the handle ‘Waynebro’… He wasn’t hear long enough to be nicknamed ‘Wayne’

    I am not sure who the latest intruders are, but it sounds more inline with the level of sparkling repartee we experienced with ‘dundar’ or ‘niblet’.!

    Now, THOSE were good times…

  14. mespo727272,

    “I am very much enjoying the recent troll invasion. Seems that health care reform has summoned them from the murky depths of the Sea of Stupid.”

    Isn’t that just off the coast of Bullshitistan?

  15. Dredd(?)You sound like a “dreaded” human stain! The murky depths of stupidity harbor you and Mespo and the rest of your developmentally disabled clan of boobcatchers. Rave on knucklehead……

  16. OK I will type this slowly because let’s face it you are not the sharpest knife in the drawer. So there are people called COCKNEYS, they are from East London, There are islands off of Scotland called the ORKNEYS, there is a part of Ireland called CORK but there is no such thing as a CORKNEY and people from LIVERPOOL are called SCOUSES. I hope that helps.

  17. I’m a lumberjack and I’m o.k.!

    Mespo: Rent the movie Troll 2. You will never see Trolls in the same light again.

  18. the same people who think a man with a British accent named O’Grady might be an illegal immigrant from Cuba also think that a public health care system means death panels and socialism. Does it hurt to be that stupid?

  19. Dredd:

    “Isn’t that just off the coast of Bullshitistan?”

    ***************************

    I may be wrong but I thought the ArchDuchy of Bullshitstan was an island completely encircled by the Sea of Stupid, but then again you could be right. Given that most of us here never venture that far out a limb, we probably aren’t the best source of information. You could check with our resident General to find out, since it’s squarely within his command. For me, well, I’m going back to my milk and graham crackers and try to remember who this fantastic young “apologist” was–maybe it’s Martin Luther. Yippee!

  20. For me, well, I’m going back to my milk and graham crackers and try to remember who this fantastic young “apologist” was–maybe it’s Martin Luther. Yippee!

    I am likewise having difficulty remembering when mespo EVER, lost a
    debate on religion ie catholicism, or otherwise, EVAH, as we say ‘heah’, in Maine…

    I posted a great old ‘fav’ ‘Au Bon Pain’ recipe of mine for
    Ginger Snaps a while back. I suggest those in lieu of graham cracke
    rs… Mmmmmmm!

  21. I remeber the bolg. Some guy named Gregory dismanteled Mespo on the truths of the Catholic religion. He not only schooled and embarassed him, he punked Mike Appleton and Mike Spindell along with Mr. Wonderful Buddha(pest). That kid, Gregory wrote brilliantly and slaughtered Mespo in the debate. He made you look and sound more stupid than you usually do mespo(?). he made you sound as ignorant as an uneducated schoolboy seeking the approval of his mommy. Boy, did he thrash you! I loved it, it was SWEET!

  22. John Wallis. Polite corrections seem always to be welcome in the “Corretions” window at the top of the blog, and I see that it has been made.

    The residents of Cork are Corkmen and Corkwomen. Cork is pronouced something like Cahrk (or somewhere in the vicinity of that) by those born and bred. Wiki says there is “a similarity between the Cork accent and the Liverpudlian (‘Scouser’) accent in north-west England – owing to the high rate of immigration to Liverpool (especially the Bootle area) from Cork.” Don’t know what folks who live in or come from Bootle call themselves, but it all seems connected somehow.

    Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the three components of a nucleus “quarks,” making himself a Quarkney, and impelling theoretical physicists to this day to speak whimsically in a “quarkney” accent about particles that are up and down, top and bottom, with flavor, color, strangeness, naked beauty, and bare bottom.

    James Joyce. Finnegan’s Wake. Book 2, Episode 4

    Three quarks for Muster Mark!
    Sure he hasn’t got much of a bark
    And sure any he has it’s all beside the mark.
    But O, Wreneagle Almighty, wouldn’t un be a sky of a lark
    To see that old buzzard whooping about for uns shirt in the dark
    And he hunting round for uns speckled trousers around by Palmerstown Park?
    Hohohoho, moulty Mark!
    You’re the rummest old rooster ever flopped out of a Noah’s ark
    And you think you’re cock of the wark.
    Fowls, up! Tristy’s the spry young spark
    That’ll tread her and wed her and bed her and red her
    Without ever winking the tail of a feather
    And that’s how that chap’s going to make his money and mark!

  23. Wayne,

    I think you should go back to the home world Bullshitistan, just past the sea of stupid.

    Wayne’s world … it’s not just any more …

  24. Well that’s a new record… 4 posts before the thread descends into a slanging match! Round 10 – Will BIL get off the ropes and make a comeback to win on points?

  25. Patty C:

    The Wolf is roaring and I made sautéed cod with capers and lemon juice for my inaugural dish. Polished it off with some decent chardonnay and fresh bread from the oven. I have ascended to the eighth level of kitchen Nirvana.

  26. I already won, hid.

    The Madbomber What Bombs Dresden at midnight pulled a reverse Belushi: while I was criticizing his war crime at Dresden, he brought up the Japanese. While horrific, that was technically a war crime in that civilians were attacked, but the circumstances entirely different. Dumbass Faux LeMay fails to realize that he’s pointing to the very ethical calculus that damns him for Dresden: disproportionate response that served no purpose but to inflict extra morale and moral damage to the Germans with a minimal benefit other than vengeance for the Blitz. The decision to use the atomics on Japan was on a different scale because of the nature of the Japanese people. It is not irony that lives were saved by avoiding a physical invasion of Japan by bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It was a planned and calculated decision to save lives on BOTH sides (our side first of course). Dresden was wholesale destruction for destruction’s sake. The real LeMay was not concerned much about the atomics as that stain would fall on Truman historically and much of it has, but he was VERY concerned that had we lost the war he’d be put on trial for war crimes related to Dresden.

  27. Wayne:

    “That kid, Gregory wrote brilliantly and slaughtered Mespo in the debate. He made you look and sound more stupid than you usually do mespo(?). he made you sound as ignorant as an uneducated schoolboy seeking the approval of his mommy.”

    ******************

    Well, what chance did I have armed only with my paltry logic skills and ability to read the written word. Why, Gregory had the advantage of hundreds of years of delusion, obscurantism, and the fawning approval of syc[sic?]ophants such as yourself who’ve bought in hook, line, and sinker. My fight was doomed from the start–at least in your hallowed eyes.

  28. mespo,

    Enjoy! That’s a fine pizza. I noticed fresh figs at the store last visit. I may have to make one of those soon again myself.

  29. BIL:

    Were that recipe Patty C’s only contribution (and it’s not, by a long shot, of course) that, IMHO and in and off itself, would give her immunity from banishment from this site.

  30. mespo,

    I would have to agree. In re banishment, I’ll stipulate I was not primarily seeking banishment, but merely compliance with our host’s wishes with that as an option for enforcement. A pleading in the alternative as it were. But quite frankly, with everything that’s going on IRL, I’d simply had enough of the bullshit. Another time, I might have been more prone to let it slide. But wounded animals are dangerous. I expected a ration of crap from the trolls, but not from a regular. Over all, I think she’s a fine contributor (when civil) regardless of whether she likes or agrees with me or not. No, I have no anger toward her. A bit disappointed and saddened by her choice(s) that we are adversaries it would seem, but it’s not a matter of being vindictive on my part. Any time she wants to make nice and be friends again, I’m willing to listen. We being adversarial was never my choice. I don’t even desire an apology, just a cease fire. A mutual non-aggression pact that involves no one invading Poland. If not? That’s her choice too. She can keep on hating me and I don’t mind if that’s her choice as long as the one rule is followed.

    We all essentially want the same thing.

    We want our Constitution and the Rule of Law restored. We want the traitors and torturers brought to justice. We want the real perpetrators of 9/11 punished. We want to reclaim the American Dream from what is rapidly becoming a Corporatist Nightmare.

    But we are all guests here and should behave as such. The Prof is a generous host and asks us regulars for little in return. He, in fact, gives us a huge amount of leeway for such a simple request. Pretty much most of the regulars here would have been banned and/or censured long ago at some commercial outlet like HuffPo, WaPo or NYT for one comment or another that “offended their editorial policy” (code for “adverse impact on advertisers” and in the case of HuffPo, code for “you’ve offended one of Ariana’s personal friends”). Hell, many admins wouldn’t tolerate the way some threads end up WAAAAAAY off topic whereas the Prof actually seems to like it as long as the conversation is compelling. Ours is a munificent host. We should all respect that.

    I have no disagreement with your sentiments though. Just a bit of sadness over how things have unfolded.

  31. mespo727272 1, August 13, 2009 at 7:02 am

    Patty C:

    The Wolf is roaring and I made sautéed cod with capers and lemon juice for my inaugural dish. Polished it off with some decent chardonnay and fresh bread from the oven. I have ascended to the eighth level of kitchen Nirvana.

    Bravo! I am so delighted for you – both…

    ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2vvOPsiVdU&feature=fvw

  32. Mespo, btw, my ‘signature’ white pizza is made with gorgonzola,
    fig jam, prosciutto, and garlic and rosemary. It’s very tasty, but I encourage you to spread your wings while figs are in season.

    Goat chesse and fresh figs, which I have done, as well, are great ‘substitutes’. Take advantage of the fresh stuff when you can get it.

    Remember, our ‘Garden Vegetable Soup’ season is nearly upon us, as well.

    Make it early, make it fresh, flavorful, and fabulous for the freezer! Nothing like it and an open-faced sandwich when it starts gettin’ nippy outside, which happens here way too soon.

  33. Patty C 1, August 13, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    mespo727272 1, August 13, 2009 at 7:02 am

    Patty C:

    The Wolf is roaring and I made sautéed cod with capers and lemon juice for my inaugural dish. Polished it off with some decent chardonnay and fresh bread from the oven. I have ascended to the eighth level of kitchen Nirvana.

    Bravo! I am so delighted for you – both…

  34. Curtis LeMay/Wayne/Whoever,
    Short memories, small minds, incoherency and childish insults. You all have the whole package don’t you. Happy trails.

  35. I also make a killer pizza with carmelized onions, prosciutto, and chunky homegrown, homemade, red wine tomato sauce on the grill in decent weather and in the oven in indecent weather.

    The onions, carmelized, are very rich, but well worth the extra fuss. Vidalias, about now, are ‘perfect’…

    http://www.recipezaar.com/Fresh-Fig-Caramelized-Onion-and-Goat-Cheese-Gourmet-Pizza-187474

    Serving Size 1 (240g)

    Recipe makes 2 servings

    The following items or measurements are not included below:

    1 lb pizza dough
    Calories 490
    Calories from Fat 310 (63%)
    Amount Per Serving %DV
    Total Fat 34.5g 53%
    Saturated Fat 19.3g 96%
    Monounsaturated Fat 11.7g
    Polyunsaturated Fat 1.6g
    Trans Fat 0.0g
    Cholesterol 78mg 26%
    Sodium 542mg 22%
    Potassium 418mg 11%
    Total Carbohydrate 25.2g 8%
    Dietary Fiber 3.4g 13%
    Sugars 19.9g
    Protein 22.6g 45%

    detailed view…

    how is this calculated?
    Fresh Fig, Caramelized Onion and Goat Cheese Gourmet Pizza
    Recipe #187474 | 50 min | 20 min prep | add private note

    By: ~Rita~
    Sep 24, 2006

    This is really really good! For Goat cheese lovers do try to purchase the goat cheese that is rolled in plump dried cranberries. Do try it on the grill!

    SERVES 2 -4 (change servings and units)
    Change to: Servings US Metric Close

    * 1 lb prepared pizza dough, room temperature (I used Pizza Dough Bread Machine for one pie)
    * 1 tablespoon olive oil
    * 1 small sweet onion, sliced
    * 4-6 fresh figs, cut in half
    * 5 ounces goat cheese (if you can get goat cheese with cranberries it fabulous)
    * 1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
    * 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded
    *
    olive oil
    * cornmeal

    Directions

    In a pan saute onions in oil till a caramel color, set aside to cool completely.

    Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

    Roll out dough on a floured surface to 1 inch thick. You can make it round or square all a matter of taste.

    Place on a pan that is dusted with corn meal.

    Spread a thin coat of olive oil on dough.

    Arrange goat cheese, figs cut side up, cooled onions around on crust.

    Top with mozzarella cheese and sprinkle with rosemary.

    Place in oven and bake for 15-20 minutes.

    ALTERNATE method:.

    If grilling preheat grill to medium high.

    Oil one side and place on a clean oiled grill and grill for 4-5 minutes.

    Flip and then lightly spread olive oil on dough.

    Arrange goat cheese, figs cut side up, cooled onions around on crust.

    Top with mozzarella cheese and sprinkle with rosemary.

    Cook a couple more minutes.

  36. Patty C:

    “Bravo! I am so delighted for you – both…”

    *************

    We are blissfully happy, and enjoying a new but already “warm” friendship. My old Jenn-Air is just a distant memory now. Oh, and my wife likes it too. :)

    I am creating a grilled eggplant, roasted red pepper, and brie on baguette sandwich for tomorrow. I may even roast some garlic for the mayonnaise. At this rate, I may have to stop practicing law altogether since this work is less stressful, the customers always seem happy, and I get the leftovers. What does Emeril say? Bam!!

  37. We are blissfully happy, and enjoying a new but already “warm” friendship. My old Jenn-Air is just a distant memory now. Oh, and my wife likes it too.
    —-

    Woof…!

Comments are closed.