The Cockney Cuban: English Comedian Held By U.S. Officials As Suspected Illegal Alien From Cuba Due to His “Funny Accent”

    200px-Paul_O'Grady,_April_2009_croppedEnglish comedian Paul O’Grady should have known better. He tried to enter the United States with a “funny accent” and was stopped in Miami by our security officials as a suspected “illegal alien” from Cuba. It was a close call. We came within feet of O’Grady unleashing English humor on U.S. soil. (OK, he does not have a Cockney accent, but it sure ain’t good American talkin’).

    O’Grady says that he was told that he was suspected of being an illegal from Cuba due to his accent.

    The problem is that he was ultimately released into the country to undermine our indigenous comedians with his foreign humor and one-liners. If Homeland Security had simply looked down the list they would have seen that two slots below “illegal alien” is another barred category for “English comedian.”

    Fortunately, I am at the beach with my family in a remote spot. However, the rest of you are vulnerable to Benny-Hill-Monty-Python-Mr.-Bean-type attacks. The following video contains disturbing images, but I feel that it is important for Turley blog readers to know what they are facing:

    God help us all.
    For the full story, click here.

51 thoughts on “The Cockney Cuban: English Comedian Held By U.S. Officials As Suspected Illegal Alien From Cuba Due to His “Funny Accent”

  1. Wayne:

    “That kid, Gregory wrote brilliantly and slaughtered Mespo in the debate. He made you look and sound more stupid than you usually do mespo(?). he made you sound as ignorant as an uneducated schoolboy seeking the approval of his mommy.”

    ******************

    Well, what chance did I have armed only with my paltry logic skills and ability to read the written word. Why, Gregory had the advantage of hundreds of years of delusion, obscurantism, and the fawning approval of syc[sic?]ophants such as yourself who’ve bought in hook, line, and sinker. My fight was doomed from the start–at least in your hallowed eyes.

  2. BIL/AY:

    It’s casual night and I am trying Patty C’s fig and goat cheese pizza in the oven stone. LTGTR!

  3. I already won, hid.

    The Madbomber What Bombs Dresden at midnight pulled a reverse Belushi: while I was criticizing his war crime at Dresden, he brought up the Japanese. While horrific, that was technically a war crime in that civilians were attacked, but the circumstances entirely different. Dumbass Faux LeMay fails to realize that he’s pointing to the very ethical calculus that damns him for Dresden: disproportionate response that served no purpose but to inflict extra morale and moral damage to the Germans with a minimal benefit other than vengeance for the Blitz. The decision to use the atomics on Japan was on a different scale because of the nature of the Japanese people. It is not irony that lives were saved by avoiding a physical invasion of Japan by bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It was a planned and calculated decision to save lives on BOTH sides (our side first of course). Dresden was wholesale destruction for destruction’s sake. The real LeMay was not concerned much about the atomics as that stain would fall on Truman historically and much of it has, but he was VERY concerned that had we lost the war he’d be put on trial for war crimes related to Dresden.

  4. Patty C:

    The Wolf is roaring and I made sautéed cod with capers and lemon juice for my inaugural dish. Polished it off with some decent chardonnay and fresh bread from the oven. I have ascended to the eighth level of kitchen Nirvana.

  5. Well that’s a new record… 4 posts before the thread descends into a slanging match! Round 10 – Will BIL get off the ropes and make a comeback to win on points?

  6. Wayne,

    I think you should go back to the home world Bullshitistan, just past the sea of stupid.

    Wayne’s world … it’s not just any more …

  7. John Wallis. Polite corrections seem always to be welcome in the “Corretions” window at the top of the blog, and I see that it has been made.

    The residents of Cork are Corkmen and Corkwomen. Cork is pronouced something like Cahrk (or somewhere in the vicinity of that) by those born and bred. Wiki says there is “a similarity between the Cork accent and the Liverpudlian (‘Scouser’) accent in north-west England – owing to the high rate of immigration to Liverpool (especially the Bootle area) from Cork.” Don’t know what folks who live in or come from Bootle call themselves, but it all seems connected somehow.

    Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the three components of a nucleus “quarks,” making himself a Quarkney, and impelling theoretical physicists to this day to speak whimsically in a “quarkney” accent about particles that are up and down, top and bottom, with flavor, color, strangeness, naked beauty, and bare bottom.

    James Joyce. Finnegan’s Wake. Book 2, Episode 4

    Three quarks for Muster Mark!
    Sure he hasn’t got much of a bark
    And sure any he has it’s all beside the mark.
    But O, Wreneagle Almighty, wouldn’t un be a sky of a lark
    To see that old buzzard whooping about for uns shirt in the dark
    And he hunting round for uns speckled trousers around by Palmerstown Park?
    Hohohoho, moulty Mark!
    You’re the rummest old rooster ever flopped out of a Noah’s ark
    And you think you’re cock of the wark.
    Fowls, up! Tristy’s the spry young spark
    That’ll tread her and wed her and bed her and red her
    Without ever winking the tail of a feather
    And that’s how that chap’s going to make his money and mark!

  8. I remeber the bolg. Some guy named Gregory dismanteled Mespo on the truths of the Catholic religion. He not only schooled and embarassed him, he punked Mike Appleton and Mike Spindell along with Mr. Wonderful Buddha(pest). That kid, Gregory wrote brilliantly and slaughtered Mespo in the debate. He made you look and sound more stupid than you usually do mespo(?). he made you sound as ignorant as an uneducated schoolboy seeking the approval of his mommy. Boy, did he thrash you! I loved it, it was SWEET!

  9. For me, well, I’m going back to my milk and graham crackers and try to remember who this fantastic young “apologist” was–maybe it’s Martin Luther. Yippee!

    I am likewise having difficulty remembering when mespo EVER, lost a
    debate on religion ie catholicism, or otherwise, EVAH, as we say ‘heah’, in Maine…

    I posted a great old ‘fav’ ‘Au Bon Pain’ recipe of mine for
    Ginger Snaps a while back. I suggest those in lieu of graham cracke
    rs… Mmmmmmm!

  10. Dredd:

    “Isn’t that just off the coast of Bullshitistan?”

    ***************************

    I may be wrong but I thought the ArchDuchy of Bullshitstan was an island completely encircled by the Sea of Stupid, but then again you could be right. Given that most of us here never venture that far out a limb, we probably aren’t the best source of information. You could check with our resident General to find out, since it’s squarely within his command. For me, well, I’m going back to my milk and graham crackers and try to remember who this fantastic young “apologist” was–maybe it’s Martin Luther. Yippee!

  11. the same people who think a man with a British accent named O’Grady might be an illegal immigrant from Cuba also think that a public health care system means death panels and socialism. Does it hurt to be that stupid?

  12. I’m a lumberjack and I’m o.k.!

    Mespo: Rent the movie Troll 2. You will never see Trolls in the same light again.

  13. OK I will type this slowly because let’s face it you are not the sharpest knife in the drawer. So there are people called COCKNEYS, they are from East London, There are islands off of Scotland called the ORKNEYS, there is a part of Ireland called CORK but there is no such thing as a CORKNEY and people from LIVERPOOL are called SCOUSES. I hope that helps.

  14. Bullshitistan

    rofl

    My mom and dad went to Bullshitistan and all I got was this lousy troll.

  15. Dredd(?)You sound like a “dreaded” human stain! The murky depths of stupidity harbor you and Mespo and the rest of your developmentally disabled clan of boobcatchers. Rave on knucklehead……

  16. mespo727272,

    “I am very much enjoying the recent troll invasion. Seems that health care reform has summoned them from the murky depths of the Sea of Stupid.”

    Isn’t that just off the coast of Bullshitistan?

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