Canine Christian Movement: Religion Makes Inroads Into Animal Faithful

humorous-097_smallAs this picture indicates, religious activists have made great strides into breaking into inter-species faith-based initiatives.

The success of evangelical animal activists, however, has magnified the widely held belief that cats are largely atheists.

The move into canine Christians may be a response to a recent poll showing that scientists polled at the National Academy of Sciences indicate that disbelief in God and immortality among biological scientists was 65.2% and 69.0%.

By tapping into other species, the numbers of practicing religious individuals would be exponentially increased, adding both political and social support. Some dog breed seem bred for the role like St. Bernards.

Of course, Tibetan Mastiff, Tibetan Spaniels, Tibetan Terriers tend to be Buddhist and Japanese Chins tend to be Shintos. However, Boston Terriers and Italian Greyhounds are uniformly Catholic.

Irish Setters, Irish Terriers, Irish Water Spaniels, and Irish Wolfhound remain divided between protestants and Catholics.

Scottish Terriers, English Bulldogs, English Foxhounds, English Cocker Spaniels, Shetland Sheepdogs, Welsh Springer Spaniels, Welsh Terriers, and Scottish Deerhounds have been claimed by the Anglican Church.

Pharaoh Hounds have been claimed by Muslims.

119 thoughts on “Canine Christian Movement: Religion Makes Inroads Into Animal Faithful”

  1. Foods like meat, cheese, milk, salt, grains and fish are
    predominately acidic. You Simply Have to Start Drinking Healthy Smoothies.
    cup frozen strawberries, and one scoop vanilla protein powder in a blender and blend
    until smooth and frosty.

  2. To the believers who are getting all wound up over the entries on this blog:

    “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matthew 7:6).

    It is heretical to expect unregenerate people to understand. Let it go. There are others out there waiting to receive the truth.

  3. Sorry Buddha,
    That last one was for Lester and Dog Bone. This one is for all the Christian’s who feel the need to force their religious beliefs on everyone they meet.

    6:1 Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

    6:2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

    6:3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

    6:4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

    6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

    6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

  4. Well Lester, Buhda you asked for some one to bash Muslims and I am always happy to oblige. Here are just a few of the most tasteless jokes I hope to ever see. They are from the very first site that comes up when you google “muslim jokes”

    I hope you choke on them!

    Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
    A. Bisexual.

    Q. How do Muslims practice safe sex?
    A. They mark the camels that kick.

    Q. What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
    A. Nothing, yet.

    Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
    A. A pimp.

    Q. whats the difference between a truck full of dead Muslim babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
    A. The bowling bowls are hard to pick up with a pitchfork.

    Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
    A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

    Q. What’s the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
    A. Suppressing the erection.

    Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?
    A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she’s old enough. If it isn’t, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.

    Q. What’s the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
    A. At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

    A Muslim walks into his local mosque with a big grin on his face.

    “What are you so happy about, Abdul?” Asks the Imam.

    “Well, I’ll tell you,” replies Abdul. “I live by the railroad tracks and on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the rails, like in the American movies. I cut her free and took her back to my humble abode. Allah be praised – we made love all night, all around the tent. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position permitted by Mohammed, Peace Be Upon Him!”

    “By the most Merciful,” exclaimed the Imam, “you have been blessed. Was she as beautiful as a desert flower?”

    Abdul grimaced, “By the Jinn, I do not know – I never found her head.”

    Q. What’s the difference between ET and Muslims?
    A. ET got the point and went home.

  5. RevDrBillyBob:

    One wonders if instead of emulating the self-sacrificing man from Galilee, the modern Christian would like to change places with the savior. Tough gig for the first day or so, but imagine the overwhelming adulation to follow. If masochism is defined as a psychological malady, would the same diagnosis apply to a whole class of the afflicted?

  6. The capacity of self-professed “Christians” to accord to themselves “Victim” status is a thing … of awe. Doesn’t work, but still awesome. And apparently some actually believe their own “Victimitis” propaganda.

  7. MikeS:

    yes I thought that was a funny line. And yes you are right, they do look out for their own self interest, are self contained and will let you scratch them behind the ears when it is good for them.

    Cats, The Unknown Ideal or the Virtue of Felinishness?

  8. Bron,
    No article, just my strange sense of humor. However, you have to admit that if pets had political philosophies cats would be Objectivists.

  9. MikeS:

    you gotta be sh…ng AR actually based objectivism by watching cats? Are you serious? Please, I gotta see that article.

    Persoanlly I am a dog guy so maybe I am not the objectivist I thought I was!

    And all this time I thought it was based on Aristotle & Von Mises
    and now you are telling me its cats, WTF?

  10. Mike,

    I cannot deny a cat’s vindictive nature. When I go out of town, I have one with abandonment issues that is just glad to see me when I return. The other one? Well, let’s just say that “getting the cat butt” is a phrase equivalent with “talk to the hand” in my house.

    But I do love them so anyway. 😀

  11. Buddha,
    My wife and I have my younger daughter’s 2 ten year old cats with us. They are good cats and brother and sister to boot. I love cats and dogs and I’m the guy who others pets all come to when I enter a room. The problem is that as much as my wife and I love these cats, we’re not really “pet” people. Here we are in our “golden years” and we can’t even spontaneously go away for a few days, without planning for them.

    As nice as they are, they’re social and follow us room to room, their nature as cat though is vindictive if they don’t get the attention they want. My daughter lives in a place where she can’t have pets. So here I sit, stranded in paradise, and being awakened too early every morning to have to satiate their hunger. It’s hard being Jewish, with a Cross to Bear.

  12. I worship my beloved mistress, wholeheartedly and unreservedly.

    What do I get in return?

    She worships her cat.

  13. rofl

    Mike S.,

    I’ve just been informed by my #1 here that the proper term is “überkatzen”. He’s promised not to send me off to the Western Front if I pass along this correction.

  14. While I’m not sure he represents the whole of the breed my Beagle is without a doubt an Epicurean. My mutt however is a neo-pagan.

  15. Bob,
    While we all respect your erudition it is shocking that you are unaware that Ayn Rand based Objectivism on her study of feline behavior. She believed that they were obviously examples of the the “ubermensch” which Nietzsche was alluding to. Of course they are atheists as Ayn observed.

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