NASA Captures Hand of God Reaching Across Space . . . As Stevens Goes To Court To Declare Victory

0_61_nebula_chandra_handNASA has captured a picture of what appears to be the hand of God reaching across space. Notably, the picture was taken as former Sen. Ted Stevens (R., Alaska) is about to appear in federal court to declare victory after the Justice Department drops its case against him.

Stevens is expected to declare victory today despite the incriminating evidence at trial that is untouched by the prosecutorial misconduct. Scientists believe that the notion of Stevens doing a victory lap around the courthouse after years of alleged corrupt practices may have been enough for God to make such a rare appearance. All NASA cameras have been re-positioned to capture the image of Stevens actually being snatched up and sucked into space around noon Washington time.

10 thoughts on “NASA Captures Hand of God Reaching Across Space . . . As Stevens Goes To Court To Declare Victory”

  1. Hey now, pass over begins and easter for the rest. So if it were L Ron or Jos Smith we’d have to bring em young ok now.

  2. I think it’s his right hand. If it was the left, his thumb would be on the other side.

  3. Hand of God?

    Wonder which one it could be? The God of L. Ron Hubbard, or the Latter-day Saints or Islam?

    Maybe even Wicca?

    Or Bahá’í Faith?

  4. Hey now, Do Not Confuse this matter with Justice. When you go to the circus and get a snow cone without syrup what do you have. Just ice ok. So do not confuse the two.

  5. The Judge has ordered a special prosecutor to look into the conduct of the former prosecutors. It would appear they will not get the free pass they were hoping for. I think this is not the hand of god but of justice.

  6. Buddha,

    To paraphrase: The price of not being consumed by an eldritch evil from outside the known universe is eternal vigilance.

    By the way, I’ve got another book recommendation “The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases” edited by Jeff Vandermeer. It’s a great mix of humor, morbidity,and imagination. One of the contributing “doctors” is Niel Gaiman.

  7. Gyges,

    ooooh, nice catch. Very nice indeed. I can almost hear the mad fluting of his attendants. My Lovecraft brain must have been turned off this AM to miss that option. WB cartoons are bad for the brain, but apparently no worse than insanity inducing Elder Gods.

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgha’nagi fhtagn.

    And that is all I have to say about that.

  8. Then there’s that pesky fact that “roughly 70% of the Universe is dark energy. Dark matter makes up about 25%”. (NASA) Wonder what’s in god’s black budget for Uncle Ted.

  9. JT,

    That doesn’t look nearly enough like a noodley appendage to be the hand of God. My vote goes to some sort of eldritch horror, maybe Azathoth.

  10. If that is the Hand of God and it’s reaching out because of Stevens, how come it doesn’t have one finger extended beyond the others? Maybe it’s the Hand of Satan.

    I’ve been told that from the side this dust cloud looks like a bunny. Maybe that’s it. Could this be the fabled lost Wascally Wabbit of God? Enquirer-ing minds want to know . . . and so does Bat-boy over at The Globe.

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